


A small flame

by Queen_Clem



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2020-05-14 19:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 59,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19279954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Clem/pseuds/Queen_Clem
Summary: Okay, so I've been working on a fanfic called 'The Judges choice' in which female Fireheart is a huge ass Savannah cat and it occured to me that tiny fireheart would be the other end of that spectrum so i present, Rusty spotted cat Fireheart. Who will be roughly the size of a three moon old kitten at full grown.In this AU, a pregnant Rusty spotted cat is illegally sold to an unknowing Twoleg who just thinks its a funny looking kitten. She escapes and gives birth in the forest before rushing away once she hears animals approaching.Enter Thunderclan, who is confused as heck by this funny looking kit but Bluestar already said they're adopting it so they guess they're stuck with the weird forever kitten who talks a big talk for someone who still gets carried up the ravine.





	1. Prologue

Beej screeched as a furless paw reached into her strange den, grabbing her and pulling her from its familar shadows. Her ears pinned to her head and a growl rumbled in her chest as she glared into the face of the strange beast holding her. They cooed and rubbed one of theirs claw like appendages under her cheek and down to her large belly. Beej snapped her teeth in rage, tail curling around her swollen belly in a futile effort to protect the tiny lives within.

The no-pelt boomed a laugh, causing her to curl in on herself even more. They looked back down at her thoughtfully before nodding to themself and turning back to the other no-pelt. They handed over some strange green leaves before shoving her back into her den and slamming the mesh shut behind her. This was nothing new to Beej, in the last few moons of her life since she had been stolen from her home, the strange creatures had passed her around from one and another constantly.

This time seemed different though, she mused as they set her in one of their rumbling beasts. Unlike the other no-pelts, this one seemed to care for her comfort. They briefly removed her from her den, shoving a soft pelt into it along with a few shiny trinkets. Once she was back in it, she buried the shiny objects under her soft pelt. Her heart ached to look at them, with the shine so similar to the sparkling stream that had ran next to her real den.

A cub rolled restlessly, and she laid down to lap at her belly _'Don't worry little one, maan is here.'_ she thought lovingly. Looking up as her den was lifted, she set a firm conviction into her mind. Beej would escape this no-pelt, and find a prey-full place to raise her cubs. She would not let the no-pelts tear them away from her only to pass them around like buzzard kill. The no-pelt set her den down and opened the mesh, leaving the area and shutting a slab of wood behind them, sealing her into an open place.

She stepped out and curiously looked around at the looming objects. Beej hopped up onto a protruding branch and looked through the clear mesh to see her surroundings. Her heart fluttered as large trees filled her vision. _'There!'_ she thought excitedly, if she could just get there then she and her cubs would be safe.

The wooden slab burst open, and the no-pelt entered, a strange jingling coming from their paw. Beej flattened herself to the branch, hoping their eyesight might be bad enough to miss her. No such luck was to be found she realized as the no-pelt reached for her despite her growls and slashes. Scanning the area desperately, she spotted a flap that led to green grass. Heart soaring, she dodged around the no-pelt, and rushed toward freedom.

The no-pelt screeched, trying to snatch her up with clammy paws. She dodged their attempts and burst through the small flap, pelting across the grass, relishing in the feel of it and the taste of fresh air. The rush was short lived, however, Beej felt her blood freeze as a large wooden structure rose to stop her. _'For my cubs!_ she thought determinedly, leaping up to dig her small claws into its rough surface. Hearing the no-pelt yowling behind her, she spared no time in scaling the wood.

Landing safely on the other side, Beej took off in a mad dash. Her paws pounded against the ground and her scent reeked with fear as she prayed the no-pelt would give up. She ran and ran, not noticing as she passed over strange smelling marker, until her belly began to twinge. She groaned low in her throat. It must've been the stress of this moons long ordeal, or prehaps the physical exhaustion from pushing her small body too hard that caused her labor.

Looking around, Beej slowly approached what looked to be a small animals tunnel and sniffed it cautiously. Just to be sure, she nimbly tossed a stone toward it before darting behind a bush. When nothing happened, she slipped out from under the bush and pushed into the seemingly abandoned den. She laid there for what felt like moons, muffling her howls of pain with the soft dirt as spasm after spasm crushed her belly.

Finally, when the sun was at its higest point, she lay panting with two cubs at her belly. She watched them affectionately while they suckled contently, from their scent she knew they were both females. She touched her nose to the largest cubs head, she was paler in pelt color than her small sister but much stronger. Yes, this kit would grow to thrive. "I name you, Shaaska. May you grow to lead others to prosper as you will." She murmured to her squirming cub.

Beej turned her attention to her smaller, weaker daughter. She hesitated in naming her, not wishing to grow attached to a cub that may not live. Ultimately, she sighed and touched her nose to the mewling cubs head "I name you, Shakti. May it aid you in surviving." She mewed, nuzzling her cubs lovingly. She curled around them both protectivly and drifted into a light slumber.

A snapping twig woke her. She looked around fearfully, clutching her two mewling cubs close. A growl sounded from not too far away "The scent leads over here, Bluestar. We'll get that mange-pelted tresspasser before they even know what's happening!" A voice called. Beej stood, fear striking her as she heard it.

She was no stranger to territorial creatures, and she knew what would happen to both her and her daughters if they were caught. They had to get out of here. She looked down at her small, helpless cubs, her heart breaking in two. She only had enough strength to carry one, the other would have to be left behind.

"We're coming for you, kittypet!" The voice shouted. Eyes glistening with grief, Beej made her decision. Carefully she leaned down and, sparing a moment to lick her other daughters head one last time, lifted Shaaska up by the scruff of her neck. She murmured a prayer for a swift death to her kit and holding Shaaska tightly, she dashed away into the undergrowth, unknowingly heading back to Twolegplace.

Shakti let out a pitiful wail at the missing warmth. Squirming around, the little cub tried to find the large mass of warmth that had been beside her since life began. Nothing but cool air met her attempts.

Helplessly, Shakti began to wail louder, hoping to draw the mass back to her so she could feed and be warm. Her wails died down some when something prodded her side. Letting out a mewl, she rolled toward it, burrowing tightly against the warmth and looking for a place to suckle.

Longpaw stared down at the kit in shock. The little scrap could hardly be a day old, with her eyes shut tight and her ears folded back. "Uhh, Bluestar, Darkstripe?!" He called for his authority figures, sitting down and letting the tiny kit burrow into his belly fur. He chuckled fondly as she let out a small yawn, curling up against him. 

"Longpaw, what is it? Are you seriously not able to handle a simple kittypet?!" Darkstripe growled as he and Bluestar shoved their way through the foliage.

Both stiffened as they spotted the mewling kit pressed into the apperentices pale fur. "I think the kittypet may have left something behind." He mewed sheepishly while the two moved closer to investigate.

Shakti lifted her tiny head, nose twitching, a strange but familiar scent reached her dull sense of smell. Female, and where there were females, there was milk and comfort. Her whines grew more demanding as she blindly squirmed her way towards the source.

Bluestar opened her mouth, tasteing for scent and finding two stale ones. A strange she-cats and another kit scent. Sighing, she looked to the other two "We should go, prehaps she's just moving them one by one."

Longpaw looked unconvinced, wrapping his tail over the kit "We can't just abandon her here! She's so small, she'll die within the night. Can't we take her back and post a guard to watch for her mother?" He pleaded. 

Darkstripe hissed "Show some respect! She's your leader and her word is law." He cuffed his apprentice over the ear.

Bluestar felt her fur prickle with annoyance as the two argued back and forth. She was too preoccupied to notice as the blind and deaf kit squirmed from under Longpaws tail and made her way over to the leader. 

Bluestar jumped in surprise when a little head shoved against her belly, suckling strongly. Yowling, she backed away from the kit, who cried out in protest at being dislodged.

Darkstripe snorted and shoved a paw at her "Maybe the scrap would be entertaining to keep for the night." He cackled.

Bluestar huffed, trying to regain some of her dignity as she forced her fur back down. She was about to call for them to leave when the little kitten squirmed over and pressed its small face against her fur, purring loudly as it kneaded her tail with tiny paws. Blue eyes softened and she sighed, leaning down to lift her up by her scruff

She settled Darkstripe with a cool blue gaze "Since you think that, I'm sure you won't mind waiting to see if her mother returns. After all, if the kit is entertaining, her kin must be hysterical." She spoke around the kitten fluff.

Darkstripe opened his mouth to argue but Longpaw interrupted him shyly "A leaders word is law." He reminded quietly, eyes shining with mirth. Darkstripe snapped his jaws shut with a click, glaring hatefully at them both before moving to the edge of the clearing, settling down with a huff.

Nodding in satisfaction, Bluestar padded toward camp, a kit clamped in her jaws and an apprentice at her paws. Carefully she jumped down the rocks leading down to camp, afraid to jolt the tiny kit. Padding quickly into camp, she ignored her curious clanmates who called out questions. Slipping by them, she vanished into the nursery, blinking to get her eyes to adjust.

Once they did, she saw four pairs of eyes staring back at her with shock. Robinwing was the first to speak, her tail curled over her Chestnutkit, Cherrykit, Ravenkit, and Dustkit protectivly. "Who," she started "Is that little darling?"

Bluestar blinked at her, setting the mewling she-kit down at her paws. "For now? No one. Her mother took her littermate and left, I have Darkstripe posted in the clearing in case she returns but i figured it would be in her best interest to bring her back tonight." She explained

All the queens eyes softened, but Brindleface was the only one to move forward. "I have plenty of milk, she can stay with Sandkit and I for the night." She mewed, lifting the pitiful scrap to rest in her nest, beside a squirming yellow bundle. She stepped in the nest after them, huffing as the kits immediately latched onto her, pummeling her belly with tiny paws.

Bluestar's eyes were zeroed in on the tiny spotted ginger kitten however, shining with mirth. The leader watched them for a few moments longer, before gathering herself up and pushing past the litchen enterance and heading to highrock. Her pelt prickled as the judgemental gazes of her clanmates burned through her.

she knew she had some explaining to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: since Rusty spotted cats are native to india, i used Hindi words for the Rusty family. Beej means seed, which is supposedly in their diets so Beejs mother named her that in the hopes that she'd never go hungry. If yall want y all can look up the two cubs names for an Easter egg about future events.


	2. 5 moons old

Firekit yawned, blinking the sleep from her eyes as sunlight shown through the tightly woven brambles of the nursery. 

Smacking her lips, she turned to look around, spotting Ravenkit and Dustkit snoring on her left side and Sandkit snoozing on her right. 

Ravenkits paws twitched in his sleep and a whimper tore from his throat. Sighing, she leaned down to lap at his head, trying to calm the nightmare.

It had only been two moons ago when the kits mother and sisters had perished to greencough, but both he and his brother still had nightmares about waking to find all three bodies stiff and cold. 

Her mother, Brindleface, had often woken Firekit up as she shuffled to comfort her tiny foster brothers. _'Well, not so tiny now!'_ She huffed in her mind before jumping as a paw whapped her tail. 

Turning, her green eyes met the amused yellow of Graykit. He subtly nodded his head toward the entrance, holding up a mossball caught on his claws. 

She grinned and went to get up when Sandkit suddenly rolled over, pinning her against Ravenkit. 

Graykits eyes lit with worry and he reached over, grabbing her scruff and picking her up from the pile of kittens. He didn't set her down, electing to simply half hop half walk his way from the nursery, his little friend firmly in his grasp.

"Honestly, they need to stop putting you in the middle, those fat lumps are gonna crush you one day!" He fussed as he set her down, grooming her ruffled fur to lay flat. Firekit scoffed, backing away hastily.

"No they won't, they put me and Ravenkit in the middle to keep us warm since we're smaller." She scowled, batting at their mossball. Graykit went to argue but stopped as he saw her eyes misting over sadly.

He sighed and snatched the mossball, tossing it across the camp and watching fondly as his little friend charged after it. 

She was right, despite them all being the same age, her and Ravenkit were constantly being checked on by Spottedleaf because she feared they weren't developing correctly. 

With Ravenkit it was plain to see why she was concerned, the tom was skinny and frail, always having to stop and catch his breath during games.With Firekit, one could be fooled. She was plump, and charged around camp as strongly as all the others. However, there was one glaring flaw.

She was five moons old but only the size of a two moon old kit. He and the other kits had grown fiercely protective of her because of it. They all grew worried as time went on, fearful that the little kit would never grow. Graykit in particular was growing nervous as their apperentice ceremonies drew closer.

He knew the she-kit wanted to be a warrior, maybe even leader like her pratically second mother Bluestar. 

So he kept his muzzle shut and never told her he had heard Brindleface, Spottedleaf, and Bluestar herself discussing which of the seemingly sickly kits would become a medicine cat for their saftey.

Firekit cheered as she pounced atop the mossball, flipping herself onto her side and chewing on it in victory. "Hey Firekit, over here!" A newly awoken Dustkit yowled, shoving Graykit aside as he rushed forward, Sandkit hot on his trail.

Firekit met her sisters eyes and nodded, picking up the mossball and dashing around Dustkit. The tom skidded to a stop, turning to try and catch her but she had already tossed the ball to her littermate.

"Betrayal!" Dustkit yowled mockingly, rushing after Sandkit as she bounded along, Graykit following after the both of them. Firekit panted, choosing to leave the game. 

The short run had tired her some, besides she had other important things to do. Marching up to the Freshkill pile, she nabbed the only squirrel by it's fluffy tail, yanking until it fell. Firekit huffed as she dragged it along, heading towards the elders den.

Rosetail raised her head, nose twitching as she scrambled in, the deaf elder was always the first to notice someone coming. Firekit happily presented her and a now awake Dappletail with the squirrel.

"I know you like squirrel best so i got the last one for you!" She trilled. The elders stared down at the squirrel, it's form was battered, twisted, and caked in dusty dirt from what they could only guess was being dragged around. 

They glanced from it to the tiny kit who stared up at them with proud green eyes then to eachother. Finally, Their shoulders hunched with defeat.

They both leaned down and took a bite, wincing at the awful muddy taste. Choking, Dappletail smiled down at a grinning Firekit, her eyes watery "Thank you dear, this is just what we needed to get the day started." She croaked.

Across from her, Patchpelt let out a snort of amusement. His eyes widened however when Firekit turned to him, her face drawn in embarrassment "I didn't know you were awake!" She cried "I'll go fetch you something too."

Dappletail watched smugly as Patchpelts face gave way to horror "No! Uh, it's alright Firekit. Really, I've already eaten." He mewed quickly.

Firekit looked at him with concern "Are you sure? Its sunhigh, it's had to have been a while since you ate." She said worriedly.

Patchpelt nodded "Yes, don't worry about us so much. We'll be happy with just a visit, you don't have to bring these old bones prey every time you get up." He mewed. Firekit opened her mouth to respond but a shuffling drew her attention away.

Pale tabby fur flashed as Longpaw pushed through the den entrance, his mouth stuffed with dripping moss. He carefully set it down infront of Dappletail and Rosetail, who both lapped at it like it would disappear in seconds.

"Longpaw!" She squeaked "I brought prey to the elders just like the apprentices!" She said. He looked at the gnawed on, battered squirrel and then back to her.

"Did you now? Well, I'm sure they appreciated it but why don't you leave that to me next time." He mewed "You'll have plenty of time to care for them when you're apprenticed." Firekit gave a small purr.

"I'm gonna be the best hunter in Thunderclan!" She declared. Longpaw let out a sound of agreement, ignoring the pitiying glances the elders shot at the tiny kit.

Firekit hopping up on the toms leg "You can show me all the best places to hunt!" She said excitedly. He chuckled fondly, looking around at the elders who subtly flicked their ears toward the den entrance.

Nodding back, he leaned down and nosed Firekits ear "Why don't you and I take some prey to Spottedleaf, she's been looking for you today. Ravenkit too." He said, herding her out of the den, a cheerful smile on his face.

Firekit's ears drooped low in disappointment, she hated the medicine den! It stank of sickness, and Spottedleaf was always poking and prodding her, or asking her if she knew which stupid herb did what.

 _'I'd much rather learn a pounce!'_ She thought stubbornly. Nonetheless, she obediently followed Longpaw, her tail dragging the ground. Longpaw nabbed a mouse on their way past the pile, setting it infront of Firekit and letting her carry it.

She did so proudly, secretly pretending she was one of the big warriors, marching into camp with her latest kill. Longpaws tail wrapped over his small company as his gaze drifted around camp, finding his mentor and Tigerclaw watching with amused disgust as the tiny kit padded across camp.

As soon as it became apparent the kits mother wasn't coming back, the two had called for her to be left at Twoleg-place or back in her original den. They'd argued she was much too small to survive and would never live to see Newleaf.

Once Firekit proved them wrong however, Tigerclaw started holding his tonuge, resorting to glares and barbed insults. Darkstripe on the other paw, was now banned from the nursery.

A new queen, Frostfur, had caught him trying to lead Firekit from camp when she was three moons old, and all of them had at one point or another found him trying to tell the kitten her true heritage.

Darkstripe quickly grew hated by the queens for that stunt. Once it was clear Firekit had been abandoned and Bluestar declared she would stay with Thunderclan, it had been unanimously agreed that the kit was to never be told anything other than what Brindleface told her. 

To the clan, she was the adopted rogue, but to herself and the other kits? She was just Firekit, daughter of Redtail and Brindleface.

Spottedleaf raised her head as the two padded in, her tail lifted in greeting. Ravenkit sat at her paws, his little form trembling. Longpaw leaned down, nudging Firekit closer.

"We brought you something to eat." He told the pretty tortieshell. Firekit moved forward, dropping the mouse at the medicine cats paws "Here." She muttered, ears flicking.

"Thank you Firekit, you can take a rest in your usual nest. I'll be there in a moment." Spottedleaf purred.

 _'Foxdung!'_ Firekit thought crossly, going to sit next to Ravenkit. The little black tom grinned at his foster sister happily "Don't look so angry Firekit, once we're six moons old, we won't have to get check ups anymore." He told her.

The little ginger she-cat brightened, sitting next to him and chatting while Spottedleaf ate and Longpaw mewed a farewell to them all. Once the pretty she-cat had finished and left the den, they grew quiet. That was new. Spottedleaf would usually ask them a few questions and give them some herbs to eat before sending them on their way.

Two pairs of green eyes widened as Bluestar pushed her way in a heartbeats later. The leader offered them a gentle smile, coming forward to nuzzle Firekit lovingly.

"What are you doing here?" The tiny kit asked excitedly, Bluestar often came to visit her in the nursery but never during her medicine cat visits.

Bluestars eyes shadowed but then she blinked, forcing a smile "I had a matter to discuss with Spottedleaf, so I figured it'd do no harm to come early." She mewed.

Both kits nodded as Spottedleaf pushed back into the den, herb bundles clenched between her teeth. Carefully, she laid them out infront of the kits then sat back, fixing them with gentle amber eyes.

"Alright kits, how have you been sleeping?" She started, "Steadily." Firekit answered shortly. Ravenkit glanced toward the ground "Not well, I keep having nightmares." He whispered.

Spottedleaf nodded "Thank you for being honest. No pains or aches, right? Or dizziness?" She fretted.

Ravenkit and Firekit shook their heads. Finally, Spottedleaf sighed and hooked a claw on the bundles, tearing the grass and exposing the herbs.

"Go on then." She mewed, her eyes burning intensely "Eat up and go play." She finished with a smile, though her eyes never left either kit.

Ravenkit ate his quickly, flashing Firekit a smile and nodding politely to the two grown mollies. Spottedleaf focused on him for a heartbeat, disappointment shining in her gaze before it fell back to Firekit.

The tiny molly leaned toward her leaf wrap, carefully drawing out each individual herb before she ate it since she couldn't plunge her muzzle into it like Ravenkit. The smell would make her ill.

_'Burnet for strength, Borage, chamomile, and coltsfoot for our chests.'_ she mentally droned and checked them off as she lapped them up _'Daisy incase our joints ache and..."_ her thoughts trailed off as she pulled a dark green leaf from the pile.

"Spottedleaf, why is there dock in here? That's for wounds, it won't help us." She pushed the scrap of leaf toward the smiling she-cat. Bluestar looked down at her, eyes shining with sadness and pity.

"Ravenkit, why don't you go play? We need to have a word with Firekit." The old leader mewed softly. Firekits belly clenched _'Did I do something wrong?'_ worry flashed through her fiercely as her friend disappeared. 

She was left alone with the two most important cats in the clan. Gulping, she met their gazes "Am I in trouble?" She whispered.

Spottedleaf laughed "No dear, we just have something to talk to you about." Her laugh died down and her face became serious. "Those herbs were a test Firekit, and you passed. I put the dock in to see which one if either of you would recognize it." She explained.

Firekit looked at her blankly "But why?" She mewed, confusion lacing her voice.

Bluestar moved forward, her eyes gentle but firm "To see which one of you would become a medicine cat apprentice." She said. 

The words took a moment to register, but when they did, fury and fear lit under her pelt. She didn't want to be a medicine cat! Sitting in a cramped den, sorting herbs into piles all day.

No, she wanted to prowl the forest, hunting prey, protecting borders, or rush into battle at her clanmates sides. "Well than give it to Ravenkit! I want to be a warrior." She spat at them, pelt prickling.

The two exchanged a glance "It's not a choice Firekit. You're both unfit to train as warriors, but Spottedleaf can have only one. Starclan has not granted her any dreams against either one of you, so we created this test to help decide." Bluestar explained.

Firekits face fell into a scowl "Why not just let us decide?" She grumbled. "Because you both wanted to be warriors. Starclan has chosen you Firekit, theres nothing to do but follow." Spottedleaf said quietly.

Firekit opened her mouth to argue, but a quick look at them both made her realize nothing she said would get through to them. Her eyes misted over "How could you do this to me?" She whimpered, pushing past them and pelting out of the den. 

She ignored the other kits calling out to her as she ran, slipping into the nursery to collapse in her nest. The little kit laid there, brooding in her thoughts and shredding the moss with small claws. She didn't even realize she had fallen into a fitful sleep until a paw jabbed her side.

Sandkit was staring at her with light green eyes "C'mon sleepy head, or you'll miss the ceromony!" She exclaimed.

"Ceromony?" She whispered in confusion before it struck her, Longpaws warrior ceromony was today! She shot to her paws, nearly knocking her sister over in her hurry to get out of the nest.

"Watch it!" Sandkit scolded, rushing after her as she pelted from the nursery. The clan was already gathered, Longpaw in the center.

Firekit moved to sit next to Brindleface, her mother, and watched as Bluestar began to speak. As soon as the gray molly was in her sight, her mood soured horribly.

"Warriors of Starclan, I ask you to look down on this apprentice, he has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code and i commend him as a warrior in his turn. Longpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect your clan even at the cost of your own life?" 

Despite herself, Firekit felt excitement well in her _'I do!'_ she thought. Her eyes were fixed on Longpaw but a scent wreathing around her like a fog caused her to miss his response.

It smelled similar to the scent caught on the Sunningrocks patrols fur when they returned but mixed with crowfood. Wrinkling her nose, she followed the scent, seeing it lead to a brown tabby she-cat with green eyes sitting next to Spottedleaf and staring directly at her.

"Longtail! Longtail! Longtail!" The clan cheered toward the fading sky. Firekits face dropped, she had missed it! She turned to glare toward the stinking tabby, but she had gone. Spottedleaf stood alone, flinching at her glare. 

Looking away, Firekit smoothed her expression, plastering a smile on as she bounded up to Long _tail_. "That was great!" She squealed, clambering up his back to nuzzle his cheek.

He purred back, gently shaking her from his back "Just you wait kit, it'll be your turn soon enough." He mewed, turning to speak to his ex-mentor.

Since he was no longer looking at her, he missed her crestfallen expression. Firekit backed away, dragging her paws as she padded back to the nursery. Hesitating at the entrance, she glanced back and made a vow to herself.

She would stand in his place one day.


	3. Apprenticed

Firekit mewled with annoyance as Brindleface washed her pelt for the third time, "Mama, can i _please_ go play with the other kits now?" She begged.

Brindleface pulled away, her dull yellow eyes shining and a purr in here throat "Fine, fine. Go play dear, but keep your pelt clean. I want you all to look nice for your ceremony." She mewed. 

Firekits face dropped and she curled in on herself. It wasn't fair. She didn't want to commit her life to herbs and sickness, but no matter how much she plead, Bluestar and Spottedleaf would not be swayed. Brindleface looked back at the kit when she heard a sigh, and felt her eyes soften.

Moving to sit beside her, she curled her mottled tail around the small scrap. A moon later, the little kit was relatively the same size, which had only strengthened their leaders resolve to make her a medicine cat.

"I know you're upset you won't be a warrior apprentice, but why not try and enjoy your very last day as a kit?" Brindleface encouraged. Firekit said nothing only snuggling closer to her mother and staring hard at the ground with welled eyes.

"Could you try to talk to Bluestar again?" She whispered. 

Shaking her head, Brindleface leaned down and licked her head gently "Both Redtail and I have said everything we can but a leaders word is law, if she won't change her mind, then that's that." She mewed briskly, standing to go clean out her nest.

Firekit spared one last disappointed look at her mother before she padded from the den. Sunlight stung her sensitive eyes but she forced them to focus, letting her see her denmates as they tumbled around in a game of chase. Resentment burned her as she saw their large frames, nearly the size of the warriors though far less muscled.

The resentment was nowhere near as strong as the fury she felt when Ravenkit skidded past. In the moon since her life was decided for her, he had grown strong, no longer coughing during games or trembling under his own weight even though he was still twig thin.

"Firekit, tag Graykit!" Sandkit yowled to her small sister. Wiping her grimace off her face and replacing it with a smile, Firekit complied, rushing after her friend on stubby legs. Much to her dismay, she found herself unable to catch him as he sped away.

Growling, she pushed herself harder and harder, pumping her legs as fast as they'd go to close in on him. Unfortunately, her best wasn't enough as he was always two steps away.

Graykit turned sharply and Firekit, going full speed, had no time to skid to a halt before she slammed into Longtail. The pale tabby huffed, flopping over onto his side "Oh, the mighty kits have slain me!" He called dramatically, resting his head on Firekits dazed form.

She stood, shaking the stars from her head, when her eyes finally focused she found herself staring into intrigued amber eyes. Longtail nudged her breaking her staring contest with Tigerclaw "C'mon, let's help Dustkit and Ravenkit get Graykit!" Longtail yowled as he lumbered to her brothers.

Firekit giggled and chased after him, sparing one last glance toward the dark tabby sitting beneath highrock. Tigerclaw was staring at her, face lost in thought before he shook his head and nodded to himself.

Shrugging his weirdness off, she dashed around and cut Graykit off, tagging him on the shoulder before she raced to Longtail, scaling his back and riding on his shoulders to outpace her shouting friend "Cheater!" Graykit yowled to her. She simply grinned back him.

It wasn't long before their game ended, with Bluestars summon. The good mood that had enveloped Firekit vanished like mist in a strong wind. While the others rushed toward highrock, squeaking in excitement, she hung back.

Each step felt as if her paws were made of stone but she eventually stood beside her friends, all of whom had caught onto her sour mood and were glaring at Bluestar spitefully.

The leader paid them no mind, instead looking around her clan proudly "Today we gather to witness as five of our kits become apprentices. Dustkit, Sandkit, Ravenkit, and Graykit, you have all reached the age of six moons and its time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on until you receive your warrior names, you will be known as Firepaw, Dustpaw, Sandpaw, Ravenpaw, and Graypaw." She paused, looking them over before continuing "Dustpaw, your mentor will be Redtail, may he pass all he learned from me onto you."

She waited until the two toms had pressed noses before she started again "Sandpaw, your mentor will be Whitestorm, Starclan grant he passes his wisdom down." Firepaw watched with plain envy as the large snowy warrior moved forward to touch noses with her sister.

Her claws curled into the dirt as her once idol moved onto the next kit "Ravenpaw, you've had a rough start to life, one that will need much strength and courage to overcome. That is why your mentor will be Tigerclaw."

The dark brown tabby slithered forward like a shadow, touching his nose to an awed Ravenpaws only slightly. Firepaw seemed to be the only one to notice the disgusted curl to his lips. "And young Graypaw, your mentor will be Lionheart, may he pass his loyalty and skill onto you."

The great golden warrior walked to touch noses with Graypaw, his head tilted up in pride. "Graypaw! Sandpaw! Ravenpaw! Dustpaw!" The clan cheered for all her friends for a few heartbeats before turning to look back at her, some with confusion and some with knowing pity.

Bluestar looked down at the tiny kit with trace amounts of guilt. She knew that Firepaw hated her for forcing her to become a healer but she had no other option. The ginger spotted cat would never survive her first battle even if she learned all the moves, her legs, claws, and fangs were too short to do any real damage.

Even if she could fight, she'd always be a poor hunter, with prey being half her size. No, a medicine cat was how she could serve her clan best and with that in mind, Bluestar spoke.

"Firepaw, is it your wish to enter the mysteries of Starclan as a medicine cat?" A few gasps sounded around the clearing, mostly from the disapproving senior warriors but no one objected.

Firepaw stared intensely at her leader, waiting for some omen to tell her this wasn't her path. There was none. So with a great amount of reluctance, she answered Starclan's call.

"It is." She muttered.

Bluestar nodded sadly "Warriors of starclan, I present you with this apprentice, she has chosen the path of a medicine cat. Grant her your wisdom and insight so that she may understand your ways and heal her clan in accordance with your will. Tonight, you will travel to the moonstone with Spottedleaf to be formally introduced to Starclan. The good wishes of the clan go with you." She finished.

"Firepaw! Firepaw! Firepaw!" The clan cheered happily. Only one among them noticed how the paws' eyes darkened, and how just a hint of a snarl rested on her face as Spottedleaf touched noses with her. He smiled to himself, prehaps she did have use after all.

Brindleface and Redtail bounded up to their kits, pressing against them and covering all four in congratulatory licks. Redtails eyes especially burned with love and pride. He had never thought he would be able to have kits after so many failures with Brindleface.

His heart had sang when he heard Sandkits first mewls of life and then Firepaw had joined their small family, shortly followed by his sons, Ravenpaw and Dustpaw. The tom choked on his words, simply nuzzling them all individually.

"We're so proud of you all." Brindleface murmured, her voice choked. Happily, she butted her head against each of her kits. Redtail copied her, stopping as his eyes found his littlest kit. He felt his ears droop at her forlorn look and sighed, although her little figure held a ferocious warrior it was still just too small to ever be able to help her. 

He was glad he would never see her off to battle, however, he still ached that his daughter couldn't live the life she wanted. Walking next to her, he sat and licked her head comfortingly "You would've been an amazing warrior." He murmured lowly.

Despite her ceromony being ruined, Firepaw's heart still swelled with love as her parents congratulated them. Sandpaw butted her shoulder "Come on! Our mentors are taking us to get moss for our nests." Her sisters eyes shone with joy.

Excitement fizzled through her and she jumped to follow them, only to halt when a dappled tail stuck out infront of her. Confused, she turned to find Spottedleaf "You already have a nest." The tortie reminded "and we need to get ready to head to mothermouth."

For a moment, Firepaw wanted to hiss at her mentor, but then the words registered. Mothermouth! It was all the way across Windclan territory, she would get to see the forest and the moor!

Lifting her tail happily, she stretched up to touch her nose to her sisters nose, repeating the gesture to her parents then got back on four paws to follow Spottedleaf. She trotted alongside her into the medicine den where the tortieshell grabbed a leaf and began to make a bundle.

"You're lucky, you know." Spottedleaf mewed as she picked herbs up, "To be apprenticed on the day of the Half-moon, you'll get to see Starclan up close." she clarified as she saw Firepaws flat look.

Firepaw grumbled to herself as she lapped up the traveling herbs. It felt like moons had passed as she waited for her mentor to finish eating and getting ready to leave.

Finally, after she arranged the last of the leaf bundles, the two were leaving to the moonstone. Firepaw poked her head into the apperentice den looking at her friends "I'm heading off." She told them.

Ravenpaw purred "Have fun." as he curled into his nest, she narrowed her eyes at him before feeling two of her siblings tackle her.

"Congrats on being the first off of Thunderclan terriory." Graypaw huffed, his yellow eyes sparkling. Dustpaw rubbed his cheek against hers while Sandpaw looked at her with worried eyes "Be careful, okay? Stay close to Spottedleaf." She ordered.

"Yes mother." She replied sarcastically, nuzzling her sister to let her know she was only teasing before leaving the den with a farewell. After taking a moment to groom her fur back into place she then followed Spottedleaf from the gorse tunnel for the first time.

Forest scents assaulted her immediately and she closed her eyes, breathing them in deeply before opening her eyes to look around.

Larges stones filled her vision, trailing the side of a ravine. Watching Spottedleaf hop from stone to stone gracefully made Firepaw slightly envious as she struggled to climb the first stone at all.

Dread and fustration swelled in her chest as she plopped to the ground for the fourth time, finally coming to the conclusion that she would have to have help. Reluntacly, she called out for her mentor.

Spottedleaf's amber eyes popped over the edge of the ravine "What is it, Firepaw?" She mewed, annoyance laced in her voice "I know you're excited to be out of camp but we have to move quickly.The moon waits for no one." 

Firepaw's ears flattened while her tail began to flick in anger. Anger at herself for not even being able to climb these stupid stones. How was she ever going to prove to Bluestar that she could be a warrior if she couldn't even get out of camp?

"I can't climb these." She spat, eyes locked to the ground shamefully. She heard a sigh moments before teeth gently sank into her scruff, lifting her tiny form into the air. Spottedleaf grunted as she jumped from stone to stone, her neck bobbing with the weight of her apprentice.

Once they reached the top, she set Firepaw down, watching with soft eyes as the little spotted she-cat looked around in wonder. Her usual scowl replaced with fascination at the towering trees.

Shaking herself free from the trance, she padded ahead of her "Keep up, there's still a long ways to travel." Spottedleaf called over her shoulder as she walked into the forest. Firepaw quickly hurried after the tortieshell, her fur fluffed with joy at the sights and smells of her territory.

Despite Firepaw sticking her nose into every bush and stopping to marvel at a particularly large tree, the two arrived at the moor in decent time.

Firepaw was not nearly as excited about the moor as she was her own territory, choosing to instead study the stars. It wasn't long before new scents invaded her senses, they were all cat scents but carried different tinges to them. Feeling curiosity blaze through her, she charged ahead of Spottedleaf who squawked as the little paw' nearly knocked her over.

"No, Firepaw wait!" She shrilled, but her apperentice paid her no mind, bursting past a few thin bushes and coming face to face with a group of surprised cats.

A brown tom with a stubby tail moved forward, trying to taste her scent. The wind was blowing in her direction, however, so none could detect it. Giving up, the tom smiled down at her gently "Hello there little one, are you lost?" He cooed.

Firepaw's ears flattened and her claws unsheathed at his tone _'I'm not a kit!'_ She thought fiercely, growling at them as they eyed her with amusement.

Spottedleaf finally caught up to her, wrapping her dappled tail around the apperentice and drawing her close to her side. Firepaw sheathed her claws and flattened her fur as her mortified mentor glared at her.

"I'm so sorry everyone. This is my new apperentice, Firepaw." She introduced "It's her first time out of camp so she was a bit eager." Despite her mentors glare, Firepaw stood taller, waiting for them to congratulate her.

The other medicine cats said nothing, only staring at Firepaw with shock "Bluestar apprenticed a kit?!" A dark brown tom with black spots screeched.

"I'm not a kit," Firepaw hissed angrily, "I'm just small!" Spottedleaf pressed against her defensively, running a tail down her back to soothe her.

"She's six moons." She confirmed. The others let their fur lay flat and nodded uncertainly, introducing themselves.

"I'm Barkface, and this is Mudfur." The short tailed brown tom said, gesturing to the black spotted tom. He nodded a polite greeting which Firepaw returned before glancing at a white and gray tom who stared at her with dark eyes before he blinked and smiled at her friendily

He took a moment to speak however "I'm Runningnose, Yellowfang is our other medicine cat but she stayed at camp with Volepaw." He told her.

"Why?" Firepaw asked curiously, Spottedleaf cuffed her over the ears harshly "Don't be nosy!" She chastised. Scowling, Firepaw looked back at an awkward Runningnose "Sorry, you don't have to tell me." She muttered.

He dipped his head before turning to the others "Come, the moonstone will be lit soon." He murmured. Despite her resentment at her role, Firepaw felt her paws tingle with wonder and anticipation as she followed them into the gaping cave mouth.

Shadows pressed down on her from all sides and freezing air threatened to steal all her warmth. The cave was so dark that it was only by scent and the will of Starclan that she didn't lose her mentor and become lost in the seemingly endless maze of caves.

Before long, she could smell fresh air and make out the silhouettes of the other medicine cats. They all piled into a cavern where a dull lump of stone sat. _'That's it?'_ Firepaw despaired, all that travel for a normal rock?

As if to prove her wrong, a beam of moonlight struck the stone through a gap in the roof of the cave. Firepaw narrowed her eyes, gasping as the stone erupted into a million dazzling stars, twinkling beautifully. "It's gorgeous." She breathed, staring in awe.

Spottedleaf nudged her forward "Come Firepaw." She led the the tiny she-cat to sit next to the stone "This is a very important night for you, but you must never share the dream you have." She told her apprentice.

Firepaw nodded seriously "I understand." She mewed. Spottedleafs shoulders loosened "Good, now touch your nose to the stone." She instructed.

Facing the glittering stone, surrounded by medicine cats and feeling Starclan around her, she finally came to a depressing but freeing realization. There was no coming back from this, she would share with Starclan and become a healer no matter how much she ached to be a warrior or leader.

Taking a deep breath, Firepaw closed her eyes and pressed her nose to the cold stone, giving her fate over to Starclan. Instantly, the stone fell away, replaced by dank grass and a rancid odor. Opening her eyes in shock, Firepaw looked around in fright.

She was laying in a damp, shadowed forest.


	4. The deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I should not have taken on two stories at once. Mistakes were made.

Springing to her paws, Firepaw backed away, looking around in confusion. Where was Starclan? She had always heard about their beautiful rolling meadows, lush forests, and sparkling streams. 

This place was the absolute opposite, it was shadowy, covered in glowing moss that oozed slowly, and a horrid smell came from every direction. Heart racing, Firepaw turned to try and run but a voice stopped her.

"Oh Firepaw, you're finally here!" It purred joyfully. From the shadows behind her, a dark tabby tail wrapped around her right side, the rest of the rancid smelling cat coming to nuzzle against her other side.

"Get away from me!" Firepaw shrieked, clawing at the ground to pull herself away from the tabby, turning to face her with bared teeth. Shock ran through her as she saw the same molly that had sat beside Spottedleaf a moon ago, during Longtail's warrior ceromony.

"Why are you here? There's no ceromony to ruin." She asked with a growl. The she-cat chuckled fondly.

"I apologize for distracting you dear, I was just visiting Thunderclan. I never expected someone would see me, it gave me quite the shock!" She mewed dramatically.

Firepaw leveled her with an understanding smile but underneath, she was insulted by how stupid this molly seemed to think she was. The tabby hadn't been watching Longtail, she had been staring at her and the scent she carried wasn't Thunderclan. She had no reason to visit.

"Well, now that that's out of the way, I'm Softstep. What's your name?" She asked gently. Firepaw's flat look returned before she masked it once more with a little trouble.

 _'You already said my name!'_ she thought while smiling at Softstep sweetly, it wouldn't do to be rude to her ancestors "I'm Firepaw, what part of Starclan is this?" She asked curiously.

The tabby grinned at her "This is the part where the most ferocious, loyal warriors go." She said proudly.

Firepaw looked around skeptically, why would Starclan send their best warriors to a rotten, dank forest? "Ok, why am I here then? I'm a medicine cat." She pointed out to the tabby, uneasiness and disbelief in her tone.

Softstep purred, weaving around her excitedly "We've chosen you to be our next member!" She told Firepaw happliy "We know how unfair it is that Bluestar won't let you become a warrior but worry not, my apprentice, a new leader is rising, one that'll let you be whatever you wish as long as you help him." The molly trilled.

Joy bloomed through her as she thought of herself sitting among the warriors. She had been close to accepting her role grudgingly, but here Starclan was, telling her it wasn't her destiny. 

Conflict rose in her at the knowledge Bluestar was going to die soon. She may hate the molly for choosing her fate but she still had a fondness for her left over from kithood but her father would make a worthy successor.

As she mulled over the issue, one of Softsteps words sank in "Apprentice?" She murmured in confusion. The dark molly nodded, her green eyes bright.

"You don't want to go through training a second time, do you? I'll train you here, so when your time comes to be a warrior, you'll be ready." She explained, holding out her head to touch their noses together "Do we have a deal?" She asked, quickly continuing once she saw Firepaws hesitant look, "You must decide quickly, the moon is fleeing."

Firepaw thought carefully, this place was gross and the she-cat seemed to not have her best interests at heart despite her kind smile and demeanor. However, Softstep was offering her something her own clan had denied her and if Starclan itself was willing to train her, who was she to deny them?

So it was with only some uncertainty that she leaned forward to touch noses with the tabby. Just before they met a frantic voice sounded "Firepaw, no!" It screeched. She glanced over in confusion, seeing a starlit speckled gray tom with shaggy fur rushing toward the pair.

Softsteps eyes darkened then, quick as an adder, she shoved her head forward, bumping Firepaws nose harshly. Instantly, the ground fell from beneath her paws and she was thrown through the air, jolting awake at the moonstone. 

The glittering stone was now little more than a dull lump once more. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she groaned and stretched her acheing joints. The other medicine cats were shifting around her, murmuring to one and other lowly.

A tail touched her side and she turned to find her mentor looking at her with soft features"Did you enjoy your dream?" She asked gently, her amber eyes lit with excitement and pride.

Firepaws ears flicked thoughtfully, maybe she should stop being so hard on Spottedleaf, the she-cat seemed to be trying desperately to get that highly sought after mentor-apprentice bond. After all, it was likely Firepaw would be her only apprentice.

"I don't know, Starclan is a lot different than what I thought." She murmured. Spottedleaf nodded, trotting alongside her protectivly as the group made their way from the tunnel and into the dawn light.

"Goodbye!" Barkface called back to them as he padded toward the moor, Firepaw waved her tail toward him and nodded a goodbye to Runningnose. Turning, she found Mudfur talking to Spottedleaf in quiet murmurs, shooting worried glances at her every few seconds.

Rolling her eyes, she fixed her best kitten look onto her face "Spottedleaf, can we leave now? I'm so hungry I could eat a badger!" She complained. Spottedleaf glanced back at her, amber eyes softening once they saw her apperentices wide pleading eyes.

"Yes Firepaw," she sighed, then looked back to Mudfur "I'm sure it's just a warning Mudfur, I'll keep her away from the river." She told him comfortingly.

Mudfur said nothing, only looking at her with dark eyes before he reluntacly nodded. "Safe travels." He wished the she-cats as he padded away.

Spottedleaf walked alongside her apperentice, brushing her tail along her side "Come on, there's a loner near here who'll let us rest and eat." She mewed to the tiny she-cat. Firepaw nodded, trotting after her mentor obediently as she led her across the moor.

Idily, she wondered why they couldn't see Barkface but figured the Windclan camp was simply in a different direction. Soon a towering structure filled her vision and the scent of mice wafted to her nose.

A plump black and white tom was outside of the structure, seemingly waiting on them. "Spottedleaf, my friend!" He called, his tail high in greeting "I was hoping to see you today, how was your half-moon?" He asked politely.

Spottedleaf smiled "It was lovely, Barley. As usual, I was hoping my apprentice and I could rest and eat here if you'll have us?" She requested.

Barely smiled at her "You know you're always welcome here Spottedleaf but what's this about an apprentice?" he mewed before his amber eyes caught sight of Firepaw.

"My, you're a fine cat. I think you'll make an excellent barn mouser for today." He praised. Firepaws chest puffed up and she grinned at him happily, Finally, Someone who thought she could do something useful!

Barley nodded his head to the structure, wrapping a tail over her shoulders "C'mon, I'll show you how to catch one." He told her, leading her into the 'barn' to stand infront of a large bundle of dried grass. From within it, she could hear shuffling and squeaking from dozens of mice.

"Now get down low." He murmured, slipping into the hunters crouch. Firepaw tried to copy him, but her muscles felt stiff and stretched out in the unfamilar position. After Barley adjusted her paws a few times, he nodded with satisfaction.

"Okay, now get one in your sights through the hay, go slowly and pounce. Remember to keep your tail straight." He instructed before disappearing to catch his own mouse. Firepaw focused on the hay, listening for any signs of a mouse.

After a few heartbeats, she caught sight of one of the little brown creatures sniffing around and slowly stalked closer. Once she was on a tail length away, she pounced, landing on the bleating rodent and purring in triumph.

Her prey quickly tried to scamper from beneath her paw but she struck forward, sinking her teeth into its neck. It still struggled for a while, her fangs too short to instantly kill it but eventually it stilled.

Firepaw proudly lifted her kill, trotting back outside to lay next to her mentor, who was eating her own prey. "Nice catch." Spottedleaf praised, Firepaw purred happily, tucking her paws under her chest and biting into the fresh-kill hungrily.

Its flavor sang on her tonuge but sadly, her hunger drove her to devour it all in a few quick gulps. She swiped her tongue around her jaws, gathering the last taste of her meal before sighing contently, streching out in the warm dawn sun.

It was easy to see why Barley lived here, the prey was fat and plentiful but Firepaw still wanted to go home to her own nest. She prodded her mentor "Can we say bye to Barley and go now?" She asked softly.

Spottedleaf glanced at her, licking blood from her muzzle "Are you done eating?" Firepaw nodded, standing to stretch. Spottedleaf followed, waving her tail in farewell to Barley.

"Bye, see you next half-moon!" Firepaw called to him cheerfully. The black and white tom was burying his own prey but looked up at the sound of her voice.

"I look forward to it!" He yelled back. Lifting her tail, Firepaw trotted happily after her mentor, taking in the scenes that had been washed in silver moonlight when she first saw them.

By the time they reached fourtrees though, she was drooping, her muscles acheing from the stone she'd slept on and the strain she'd put her small body through.

Spottedleaf glanced at her sadly, it had been a bad idea to assume the tiny molly could make it all the way to the moonstone and back "Why don't we take a rest?" She suggested.

Firepaw was too tired to protest, simply collapsing to the ground and running her tongue over her raw paw pads. "Quite the journey, eh?" Spottedleaf said, coming to lay beside her and groom her dusty pelt.

Firepaw forced her fur to lay flat, she may try to be nicer to her mentor but that didn't mean she was ok with being so close to her.

"Yeah, I don't know how I'm gonna do it every half-moon." She yawned. Laying her head on her paws, she closed her burning eyes for a few moments. They were sore from exhaustion, besides it wouldn't hurt to rest them for a while. The rhythmic strokes of Spottedleaf's grooming lulled her and soon enough she was asleep 

Spottedleaf sighed as her tiny apprentice snuggled into her side, snoring. "Guess I'm carrying you then." She grumbled, standing up and picking Firepaw up by her scruff. She was exhausted but her step was still springy with joy as she made her way to camp.

Her apprentice had been accepted by Starclan, she was a mentor! Warmth for the she-cat that had spent morning after morning in her den spread through her chest.

Yes, the little cat was pricklier than a Hawthorne bush but she'd been dealt a bad start at life so one could only expect it. Spottedleaf was confident that with time she could melt the ice shell the little she-cat had frozen around herself and show her all the joys of being a healer.

Once Firepaw grew to see she didn't need claws out to prove herself, she'd mellow. No longer would she need to make up for her lack of strength with aggression.

Grunting as she hopped down the ravine, Spottedleaf cursed that Firepaw couldn't have stayed awake a bit longer. Her neck muscles screeched at her for daring to lift anything heavier than a mouse after sleeping on cold stone all night.

Making her way into camp, she spotted Redtail at the base of highrock. The tom had been watching the enterance like a hawk and bounded over as soon as he saw them, amber eyes wide with worry.

He slowed once he saw Firepaws sleeping face. "Did everything go alright?" He whispered to Spottedleaf as the pair padded into the medicine. Mudfurs prophecy flashed through her mind but she swallowed the urge to let it show on her face. Carefully, she placed Firepaw into her nest, resisting the urge to coo as the tiny cat shifted and curled up in the much too large nest.

Wrapping her tail over her brothers shoulders, she led him from the den "It went well, Starclan has accepted her!" She purred.

Redtails chest puffed up, pride radiating off of him "That's excellent!" He blurted out, he seemed about ready to burst into the den to congratulate his kit but then his face dropped "Did she seem happy?" He asked quietly.

Feeling her heart clench, Spottedleaf thought carefully over their journey. The little she-cat had only seemed unhappy right before she shared dreams with Starclan, when they'd all woken up she had been chipper and friendly.

Stars, she didn't even snap at Spottedleaf for grooming her pelt! "Yes, whatever Starclan shared with her, it seems to have given her joy." She murmured.

Redtails shoulders loosened "I'm glad." He sighed, touching his nose to his sisters "I should go tell Brindleface and our other kits the good news." He padded from the den, steps lighter as if a weight had been lifted off of him.

Spottedleaf watched him for a moment, a small smile resting on her face before she heaved a sigh and went to her nest. Curling up, she had a perfect view into her apprentices nest.

Firepaw was snoring lightly, her paws twitching like she was swiping at an invisible foe. Spottedleaf smiled at her, mind coming up with fantasies about when the she-cat was older and warmer.

They'd be the best of friends and finally, Spottedleaf would have a companion, someone in the clan who walked alongside her on Starclan's path. As her eyes slipped shut, she tried desperately to cling to that thought, no matter how loud Mudfurs prophecy rang in her ears.

_If flame laps at the tainted river, the forest will burn._ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"No! You have to tuck your tail in!" Softstep hissed, coming behind Firepaw and nipping at the offending appendage until it was firmly tucked, hidden from any bite attacks. Firepaw huffed, wobbling as she tried to recenter herself.

The last half-moon seemed like it had been one endless day, with medicine cat training during the day and warrior training at night. Softstep never gave her a chance to rest and she felt the consequences of it everytime she moved her acheing body.

But as she heaved a swipe at her opponent, a stick with moss, she could feel solid muscle beginning to develop under her pelt. When the swipe connected, the stick jolted, snapping in half.

Firepaw purred, delight rising in her chest as she looked to her alternate mentor expectantly. Softsteps eyes were narrowed and displeased at the seeking of praise. Firepaw gulped as the dark tabbys eyes ran over her form, disgust apparent in them.

Once their training had begun, the tabby had started to change appearance wise. Her once bright green eyes were now pitch black with green slits for puplis and her light tabby form had darkened, seeming to mesh with the shadows of the forever night cast over their meeting ground. 

The tiny molly also had noticed on her fourth visit that a dark substance with a strong scent had begun to drip from the tabbys pelt, but when she'd pointed it out, Softstep had snapped at her and retreated into the shadows.

She refused to leave them even now, the only clue she was watching was her vague outline and commanding voice, alongside those slitted eyes. Always trained on her apprentice.

After a while in her medicine cat training, Lionheart had come in with a thorn in his paw. When Firepaw removed it, red blood had rushed out, dripping to the den floor. She had been quick to lap at the wound and stop it but as soon as the scent had hit her tongue, she realized what she had scented on Softstep.

Firepaw was starting to think this wasn't Starclan.

"Finally, it took you ages to down a simple stick." Softstep growled, her shadowy figure moving around the small clearing "At this rate, you'll be an elder before you can face another cat!" She flicked the stick aside angrily.

Firepaws ears drooped, she was trying her hardest! On nights like these, she missed the waking world with Spottedleafs gentle encouragement and her family coming to support her. It seemed like nothing she did pleased Softstep anymore when her presence alone use to.

"Cut the kit some slack Softstep. She's still new." A sly voice hissed. Firepaw choked down a groan as she turned to find Mapleshade strolling into their clearing.

The tortieshell was a nuisance who always butted in on her training, trying to convince her she'd be a better mentor. Softstep hissed as she whipped around "She's not ready for anything! She can't fight anything stronger than a stick!" She yowled.

Mapleshade rolled her eyes, coming to wrap a matted, reeking tail over Firepaws lowered shoulders, drawing the tiny she-cat into her belly fur protectivly. Gagging at the smell and the feel of cold blood dripping from Mapleshades neck wound, Firepaw tried to keep still and not anger the molly.

"Well, if you weren't so hard on her about everything, maybe she'd feel like she was actually _doing_ something." The dead tortieshell countered heatedly.

Softstep growled, her shadows closing in as she edged toward the pair. Mapleshade tucked Firepaw under herself tighter in response, leaning down to lap at her head "It's fine. She just needs to burn herself out." She reassured the tiny cat. Looking out from between white paws Firepaw saw Softstep shaking her head with pity, a chuckle caught in her throat.

"You do know she's not one of them, right?" The molly asked. Above Firepaw, Mapleshade froze. "Trying to mother her won't make her Petalkit. It won't make up for your shortcomings, all it'll do is get her killed." She stalked closer as Mapleshade backed away, snatching up Firepaw by her scruff.

The tiny molly hissed, scratching at her chest. Firepaw flinched in disgust as her paws met a gaping wound stretching from chin to the bottom of her chest, steadily oozing blood.

Softsteps voice sounded again, muffled from Firepaws fur "I may be hard on you, but its only because I want you to survive. You can't survive if you're **weak**!" She spat, flinging Firepaw into a tree on the last word. The world went white as pain flared up her back.

Struggling to her paws Firepaw stood, hissing weakly at her crouched mentor. Softstep laughed lowly from her shadows "Now this is battle, an enemy who can actually fight!"

Green eyes widened in terror as the burly tabby charged. Firepaw tried to dodge but Softstep was quicker, lifting a hefty paw and smashing it across her head, leaving large claw marks down her face.

Collapsing, the tiny molly could only blurrily make out her mentors shape through blood as she pinned her. Weakly, she reared back, trying to lock her teeth around a paw but her neck was too short. Looking up, she saw Softsteps mouth open, sharp teeth aimed for her throat. She closed her eyes.

A screech of rage made them snap open. The weight was lifted from her as Mapleshade dug her fangs into Softsteps scruff and slammed her head into a tree. The dark tabby hit the ground and did not get back up.

Mapleshade rushed to her side, licking the blood from her head "Are you ok? How bad does it hurt?" She murmured gently. Firepaw groaned weakly, her thoughts flickering. A long tail wrapped around her and Mapleshade drew her into her side "Go to sleep, hurry now!"

The tiny cat didn't protest, simply giving up her grip in the shadowed forest.

Prying her eyes apart, she took in the medicine den. Standing shakily, she moved to the herbstore, only pausing to slam her eyes shut against the dawn light. Narrowing them to avoid pain, she dug through the store until her paws caught hold of Horsetail and goldenrod.

Pulling them free, Firepaw chewed them into a paste quickly then smeared it onto the three huge claw marks scored down her forehead, wincing at the sting.

After covering them with cobwebs she sighed and began gathering junipter berries, daisy, burnet, borage, and finally comfery, noting they were low on chickweed and daisy. Firepaw figured if she was up than she might as well start on her duties. 

Struggling under the weight of the bundle, she quietly slipped past a still sleeping Spottedleaf and into the camp. She seemed to be the first one up besides the guard, Whitestorm, who she waved at with her tail.

The tom nodded a greeting back as she pushed into the elders den. Rosetail weakly lifted her head, smiling at Firepaw gently and nudging Dappletail awake. "Good morning Firepaw." The elder yawned "What are you doing up so early?" 

Firepaw set her herbs down "We're running low on a few things so i figured I'd finish my duties early and go help Spottedleaf fetch some more of what we're missing." She lied.

Rosetail was nudging a drowsy Dappletail angrily, jabbing a paw at Firepaws head. "Fine, fine, what's got you so worked up you old bat?" The faded tortieshell grumbled, focusing her eyes. 

A sharp gasp left her as she took in the apprentices head "What happened to you?!" She exclaimed. 

Firepaw shrugged as if it was no big deal, "I scratched myself in my sleep, it happens alot since my nest is so much bigger than me."

Dappletail narrowed her eyes supisously for a few moments but nodded. "What have you got for us?" She meowed, curiously sniffing at the herbs. 

Firepaw pulled some berries, Dasiy, and comfrey free, setting a few of each infront of the elders and putting the rest in the center of the den before grabbing her bundle once more.

"Make sure to eat all of those and have the others split up the pile." She ordered with a muffled voice, making her way from the den.

The camp was more active, with a few warriors here and there. Firepaw didn't stop to socialize as she made her way to the nursery only to be trambled as four kits piled on top of her. "What in Starclan's name are you doing?!" She snarled as the kits tumbled off of her.

Cinderkit looked at her with wide, happy eyes "We've not seen you in the nursery, what's your name? How old are you? Who's your mother, is it Speckletail? Why were you carrying those leaves?" The gray kit fired off.

Firepaw took a deep breath, trying to rein in her anger. Spottedleaf had been helping her to curb the fiery rage under her pelt but no breathing exercise could stop the flood of fury she felt when she saw her bundle had been squished under careless paws. Brackenkit and Brightkit had torn it open and were playing with the now soiled leaf scraps.

"You idiotic furballs!" She snapped, snatching the scraps away from them. "Spottedleaf and I spent half a moon gathering those for your mother and Goldenflower, now they're ruined!" 

The moon old kits backed away from her, pressing together. "W-we didn't know that, it's not our fault!" Thornkit blustered.

The fur along Firepaws spine rose and her claws unsheathed. "Oh, but it is! If you hadn't of been going around tackling random cats than it never would've happen. That was all the borage we could give today so I hope you've all had your fill of milk because now there'll be none to spare." She stalked past them, vanishing into the nursery. 

The queens were gossiping between their nests as she slipped in. Frostfur noticed her first "Oh Firepaw, have you come to bring us some borage?" She asked, noddung toward Goldenflower who had a tiny Swiftkit and Lynxkit pressed into her side. 

Firepaw huffed, still mad at the kits but unwilling to be rude infront of Speckletail. Her ear stung at the thought alone. "I had, but it seems your litter wanted to play a game of tackle the apprentice and smash her herbs." She grumbled "I'm afraid there'll be none to be given today." 

Speckletail scoffed "She needs that borage to feed her little ones, surely you can give her some more." Firepaw felt irritation climb up her pelt, already at her limit from the kits.

"No." She gritted "I can't. We pick herbs to last a certain length of time to give the new blooms time to grow. Even if I give more to her now, then in a few days we'll have the same problem."

"Well then, it seems like you're not doing your job as a healer. You've wasted herbs on yourself and now you're refusing to treat a clanmate. What kind of medicine cat are you?" The pale tabby sniffed.

Fury flashed through Firepaw "The kind that does her job right, I'm saving herbs so there's a chance we'll have some to spare in leafbare." She snapped "Maybe if you had done _your_ job as head nursery queen and been watching the kits instead of gossiping than there'd still be herbs to give!"

The small she-cat whipped around, stomping from the den before the queens had a chance to respond. The kits gave her a wide circle, rushing into the nursery as she passed. 

Grumbling to herself, She sat in the under highrock, watching the dawn patrols gather. Her head throbbed and her back ached horridly. 

A ginger tail flicked her nose gently and she looked up to see her fathers worried eyes locked on her head "What happen there, wildfire?" he asked. Pushing past her pain and annoyance, she smiled at her father.

"Nothing bad, I just scratched myself in my sleep." She told him. 

"Lotta cobwebs for one scratch." He said skeptically. 

Firepaws pelt twitched in irritation, "It look like a lot because my heads so small." She growled, wishing to leave the subject.

Redtails eyes softened and he leaned down, licking her ear and drawing her to his side "Okay, if you insist." He resigned. The two were silent for a few heartbeats before Firepaw leaned into his soft pelt purring as his steady heartbeat soothed her:

"Thanks. I needed to calm down. Those pesky kits smashed all the borage for today and Speckletail blamed me." She complained, small claws working the ground.

Redtail huffed a laugh. "You know Speckletail, a kit can do no wrong but an apprentice? Everything they do is wrong!" He said in a high pitched voice, mimicking the cranky queen.

Firepaw snorted, shoving him with a paw "Don't you have a patrol to get to?" The tom grinned down at her 

"Yeah, you're right. If you need me, I'll be at Sunningrocks." Redtail mewed "when i get back, I'd like for us to take a walk. It's been a while since we talked one on one." Firepaw nodded in agreement, rearing to touch her nose to his cheek in farewell.

The dappled tom turned, gathering his patrol and leaving. Firepaws watched until his ginger tail vanished into the gorse tunnel.

Then she stood, stretching her front legs out and going to the medicine den. A smirk curled onto her face as she saw her mentor still sound asleep. Creeping up beside her, Firepaw leapt into the nest.

Amber eyes snapped open and Spottedleaf jolted out of the nest, yowling. Laughing Firepaw peeked over the nest to meet her mentors gaze "You-you should've seen your face!" She purred.

Spottedleaf groaned "Starclan has forsaken me." She gasped dramatically, covering her eyes with a Forepaw "by giving me an apprentice that gets up at the crack of dawn." Firepaw hissed mockingly, swiping her mentor from over the edge of the nest.

"I'll have you know being up early means the elders are already taken care of." The tortieshell purred "What happen to your head, scratch yourself again?" Firepaw made a noise of agreement

Spottedleaf lifted her forepaw, peeking an amber eye out "And what about the queens, did you attend to them?" She questioned.

Firepaw rolled her eyes "The kits tackled me and squashed all the herbs then played with them so now we have none left for today." She explained "Speckletail seems to think I was being a horrid medicine cat because I wouldn't spare more than we had."

As if her words summoned her, Speckletail barged in their den, scattering yarrow everywhere "Spottedleaf, you need to do something about that mouthy little apprentice of yours!" She demanded, glaring at Firepaw. The older medicine cat stood, standing infront of Firepaw protectivly and wrapping a tail around the tiny apprentice.

"Firepaws already explained what happen. The kits you and the other queens were suppose to be watching tackled her rudely then destroyed the herbs we gathered to last for the next quarter half-moon." Spottedleaf summarized, her tone clipped in irritation "and when she explained, you blamed and disrespected her while trying to make us even shorter on herbs. We'll gather more when we run out and there are new blooms." 

Speckletail sputtered for a few moments then recovered "She scared the kits out of their fur!" She snarled. Spottedleaf didn't flinch, only rolled her eyes dryly.

"And now they'll know not to attack her when she goes to deliver herbs." She mewed calmly "Now please, Firepaw and I have important work to do." She flicked her dappled tail toward the entrance. Speckletail worked her paws, angry eyes locked on Firepaw. The tiny cat smirked, sticking her tongue out from behind the safety of Spottedleaf.

The old queen let out an offended sqauwk as Spottedleaf stood and firmly led her out of the den. Chuckling to herself, Firepaw began to pile the yarrow back into some semblance of neat. 

Once that was done, she began to sweep the dusty den with her small tail, cleaning up hers and Spottedleafs nest. A few of her friends came by to visit but most were called away quickly. Except for Sandpaw.

Firepaw had been carefully stripping soaked nettle leaves from their stem when her sister had burst in. "Hey Firepaw!" She called casually, like her sister hadn't just fallen face first into the pool if water in the den.

Firepaw jerked back, coughing out the mouthful of water. "Sandpaw! You can't just burst in here without warning. You're gonna scare me to the grave doing that." She mumbled angrily, trying to fish the nettle leaves from the pool.

The ginger apprentice only laughed, coming to sit beside her and help gather the sopping leaves. "You know you love it." She purred, bumping her shoulder into Firepaws. The movement nearly knocked her back into the pool, with Sandpaw being twice her size.

Straightening, she began tying the leaves into a bundle "Don't you have training with Whitestorm?" She asked curiously "How's it been going?"

Sandpaw smiled at her "Yes but I have a few heartbeats to spare, we're going training after sunhigh since he was up as guard last night." She explained.

Firepaw nodded, remembering seeing him early that morning. "And your training?" She mewed, trying to ignore the prickle of anxiousness at her own slow training.

"It's great! Whitestorm said I'm shaping up to be one of the best hunters in Thunderclan!" Sandpaw boasted.

Firepaw grinned at her "I can believe it." She murmured, stomping down the prickle of envy she felt. She should be happy her sister was succeeding.

Sandpaw opened her mouth but was interrupted by a commotion outside the den. The two mollies glanced at eachother then padded from the den curiously.

Ravenpaw was standing at the edge of camp, his eyes flashing with fear. Firepaw moved forward as the scent of blood hit her nose. The substance was rushing down the black toms forepaw from nasty wound on his shoulder.

Disgust filled her as she noticed he was alone. Did he just abandon his clanmates to whatever did this after one blow? She went to ask him where the patrol was when his jaws parted in a shrill wail that shattered her world.

"Redtail's dead!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I headcannon that Mapleshade is soft to kits and the dark forest plan to kill them first wasnt her idea and she hated it.


	5. Mapleshade: Mom of the year everyone.

Stiffness woke Firepaw the next morning. She stretched, looking vacantly at the cold corpse of her father. Cats milled about, keeping a respectful distance from the grieveing family. Brindleface was laid across from her, Dustpaw and Sandpaw at her sides. Ravenpaw was still in her den, asleep.

Shaking herself up and thanking Starclan that Softstep had left her dreams be for once, she began to head out of the camp. As much as she loved and would miss her father, she walked a path that had no pity for the sorrowful. There was no time to grieve, soon the strong heat would come and kill many of the herbs. She needed to pick and store as many blooms as possible to keep their supplies up.

She groaned as she leapt at the first boulder, trying desperately to climb the side of it. Her hind paws scrambled for purchase while her small front claws dug into the hard stone. She growled as she plopped back down, backing away and taking a deep breath. After a moments hesitation, she charged and managed to get her front end onto the rock. Her hind end followed after a short struggle.

Puffing, she sat to stare at the next boulder _'I can't leap onto them all!'_ she thought in dismay. Her tiny claws unsheathed, emotion blurring her eyes as her anger and grief clashed together. She huffed a sob, hunching on the first stone out of camp. A few heartbeats passed and she felt a tail wrap over her shoulders, and a she-cats soothing voice murmuring gently in her ear. 

The molly drug her against their chest, rasping a tongue over her ear. Firepaw tried to get a hold of herself, not wanting one of the queens to see her like this. However, as she was pressed deeper in the she-cats chest, she began to notice something or rather the lack of something. The molly had no heartbeat. She calmed down with this realization, already having a good guess as to who was coddling her.

Her nose twitched, unblocking and allowing Mapleshades rank scent to reach her senses. Firepaw retched, backing away from her hastily. The dead tortieshell looked hurt for a moment but recovered, coming to grab her scruff. "What are you doing?!" Firepaw squeaked out, clinging to the mollys chest as she daintily hopped from boulder to boulder as if she'd walked the path for countless seasons.

Mapleshade glanced down at her, amber eyes twinkling "I've got a surprise for you, one that'll help you climb and fight." She explained, voice muffled by fur "But you have to be out of camp to get it." Firepaw sighed deciding to just go limp. She was too drained to fight with the crazy molly. Besides in only a few moments, her paws were on solid ground.

"So what's the surprise?" Firepaw mewed curiously as she trodded behind Mapleshade, keeping an eye out for any of the herbs they needed as she walked. No sense in wasting the opportunity of being out of camp, might as well work as she went. 

Mapleshade glanced back at her, eyes shining and a large grin on her face "You'll see!" She mewed excitedly.

"Softstep gave me the idea last night when she complained about you clawing her, but I altered it a bit." She said proudly, coming around a bunch of ferns at the border and lifting a leaf up to uncover a hole. Firepaw peeked closer, a sour stench assaulting her nose. Inside, she could see the yellowish gleam of bone and smell the rusty scent of blood. 

Mapleshade reached in and plucked a bone out, presenting it to Firepaw as if it was a precious piece of prey. Firepaw felt herself grow ill. It was a tooth, a fox tooth if she wasn't mistaken. "T-thank you Mapleshade but why would i need fox teeth?" She mewed uncomfortably, trying not to set the fox killing she-cat off. 

Mapleshade grinned at her again "Hold out your paw and flex your claws." She ordered, voice light. Swallowing harshly Firepaw obeyed, lifting a small paw and unsheathing her tiny claws. 

Mapleshade guided her to lay it on a stone then, without warning, she forced a tooth onto the middle claw. Pain laced up her leg making Firepaw yowl and try to back away. 

Mapleshade dug her own claws into Firepaws foreleg, holding it in place, though to Firepaws shock, it didn't hurt.

She shifted Firepaws paw to press flat against the side of the stone, forcing her resheathed claws out. While Firepaw struggled and howled in pain, she shoved more teeth onto her claws until the largest four were covered. Only then did she release the paw.

Firepaw hopped away from the dead cat, her forepaw held off the ground while she shook it in a vain attempt to dislodge the offending items. They were pressed up against her toes painfully, not allowing her to pull her claws back in. 

Flipping her paw around to face her, she saw Mapleshade had somehow hollowed out the bottom of the tooth into a hole that allowed her small claw to slip in. Bone still incased the middle of her claw, but there was some sort of small opening that the tips of her real claws were hooked around firmly.

She tried to pull them back in, but they were stuck too tight and hooked too close in the second opening to move. Whining, she looked back up at Mapleshade for help, but the molly was simply staring at her. 

Silently, she lifted one paw with flexed claws for the tiny molly to see. Suddenly, it was clear why it hadn't hurt when Mapleshade had dug them into her leg earlier.

The sharp tips had been snapped off in what Firepaw could only assume was an effort to get the teeth off her claws so the Tortieshell could put them on her own tiny paws.

She inhaled sharply, glaring at the molly harshly, Mapleshade had only lost the tips of her claws when she escaped the teeth, Firepaw would have to snap her entire claw off to get rid of them. She knew from Spottedleaf that a torn claw could grow back but a completely ripped out one? She wasn't sure and frankly, she didn't want to risk it.

"Why would you do that!?" She screeched, her voice watery from pain "This'll just snap my claws off when i use them!" 

Mapleshade didn't flinch, only rolled her eyes "Don't be so dramatic Firepaw. Your claws will grow since you can't sharpen them anymore, eventually they'll be thick enough to hold steady against pressure." She explained.

The hurt look returned once she saw Firepaw had stopped listening and was chewing the teeth in an attempt to break them. "Don't you like my gift?" She whispered "I spent all night gathering them and hollowing them out with my own claws so they'd fit you perfectly." 

Firepaw glanced back up at her, sighing. It was hard not to pity the crazy molly when she got like this, even if she'd just mutilated her paw.

"Yes, its fine. I just need to get used to it." Firepaw grumbled reluctantly, twitching her aching paw. 

Mapleshade smiled happily, dipping her head back into the hole and digging around for a moment "I'm so glad!" She mewed around a leaf bundle as she lifted her head back up.

The tortoiseshell stalked closer to Firepaw, who backed away, fear raising her hackles when she bumped against a tree. 

Looking around, Firepaw saw she was surrounded by the tree roots. Mapleshade dropped the bundle, smiling at the tiny molly with a mix of motherly pride and harsh cruelty as more fox fangs tumbled out.

"Because I have enough for all your claws."

~

"Keep your rear down Ravenpaw, you look like a duck!" Tigerclaw spat, fustration leaking from his tone as he prodded his pathetic apprentice into a proper crouch. The tom winced, glancing at his wounded shoulder. "After a half moon of training, you're still putting all your weight on your left side!"

Young Graypaw was quick to the toms defense, much to Tigerclaws chargin. "His injury is bothering him, that's all." He said, practicing his own crouch. It was far better than the crouch his puny excuse for an apprentice could do. 

Tigerclaw narrowed his eyes at the excuse, "Injuries are a fact of life that he needs to adapt to." He spat.

"And running around on those injuries will ensure that it's a fact of a very _short_ life." A low voice snarled from behind him. 

The four cats in the clearing whipped around to stare at Firepaw as she walked carefully forward, still hidden in the shadows. "Did you bother to ask Spottedleaf if he was fit to train?" She mewed tartly at Tigerclaw.

Ravenpaw and Graypaw glanced at eachother, jaws gaping. Lionheart stepped forward "Surely, Tigerclaw knows if his apprentice is healthy enough to train Firepaw. He spends day after day with him after all." 

Firepaws pale green eyes narrowed angrily and even Tigerclaw felt himself tense a bit in preparation of a verbal clawing. The little cats temper was something of legend in their clan.

Firepaw chuckled heatedly "I'm terribly sorry Lionheart, I didn't realize Tigerclaw was a fully trained medicine cat." 

Lionheart opened his mouth to defend himself or Tigerclaw once more "Well, he's not but-!" Firepaw interrupted him. 

"He's not?!" She gasped, eyes wide in mock shock.

The tiny molly quickly turned to Ravenpaw "Well you best get to one then, go on, Spottedleaf is at camp!" She ordered the black tom. He didn't miss the chance to get away from Tigerclaws reprimands, scrambling away in the direction of camp.

Lionheart was staring at her sternly when she turned back to them. "You've no right to disrespect warriors young Firepaw. Rest assured that Spottedleaf will hear about this." He said lowly. Tigerclaw cocked his head with interest as the tiny cat chuckled, not the least bit intimidated. 

"Yes, tell her how you believed a warrior is more suited to her role than her and how you two mouse-brains took one of our patients without our okay. That'll go over well." She snorted sarcastically.

Lionheart floundered for a moment "I never said a warrior would know better than her!" He protested. 

Firepaw blinked at him lazily "Ah, but she'd take it that way. I'd know, I'm with her day after day after all." She mewed innocently. 

Lionheart growled low in his chest "Come Graypaw, we should work on your stalking elsewhere."

The gray tom spared a glance back at his friend, hesitating, then turned and followed his mentor obediently. Tigerclaw watched them for a moment before turning back to Firepaw, only to see that the little she-cat was padding away. 

He stood to follow her, intent on rebuking her for questioning him when he noticed the odd lurching way she was moving.

He slowed, crouching low and tailing her as she moved around the territory, never straying from the shadows. She seemed comforted by the dark, her eyes narrowing in displeasure everytime she came too far into the light. 

Tigerclaw was about ready to yowl at her when she finally stepped into a patch of sunlight to fetch leaves from some purple flower.

He was stunned silent for a few heartbeats. Firepaws claws were unsheathed on each paw but rather than her normal black, dull claws, they were a whitish yellow and twice their normal size. The ends of them were sharpened to a vicious point that helped her cut leaves from the flower far better than her old claws ever did.

Despite wanting to stay hidden, Tigerclaw couldn't stop himself from stepping closer, trying to see if his eyes were tricking him. A twig snapped under his huge paw and Firepaw's head snapped toward him. 

A hissed gasp escaped him, two fangs were poking out from the top of her mouth, passing her chin in their length.

Unease gripped him as he studied her. Now that he was closer he could make out what was covering her claws and top fangs easily. What in Starclans name would drive the little cat to reinforce her claws and teeth with another animals fangs? 

"Listen, I can explain!" Firepaw blurted, wincing as the tip of her long canine fang caught her lip.

Tigerclaw sat, whisking his tail to summon her to his side. His eyes gleamed as he watched her walk toward him, her pawsteps were strange and jolting. She winced with every one she took. 

"Why would you do this to yourself?" He rumbled when she had sat next to him, his large figure looming over hers.

She looked at him briefly before glancing away "I'm too weak to win in normal fights, figured I might as well give myself an advantage." She mewed, holding up a paw for him to see and baring her teeth. 

He could see that the fangs in her mouth were facing forward at an unnatural angle, her real teeth going through the sides of them. Looking at her claws made him wince.

They were forced out as far as they could go and the fangs were keeping her from pulling them back in. A deadly advantage in a fight, yes, but it meant that every step she took put painful pressure on her toes as her claws were shoved back against them.

"Can you take them off?" He asked, admiration climbing his pelt when she shook her head. 

"They'll snap my claws and teeth off if i do." She mewed, glancing at them. He thought he might have seen a flash of sadness in her eyes but it was quickly gone, her normal prickly behavior shining through. 

He was still somewhat confused "You're a healer, why would you have need to fight?" Spottedleaf had never had the need to fight, he clanmates kept her safe as they would Firepaw.

Firepaw narrowed her eyes at him angrily "That's a stupid rule!" She spat crossly "Other clans aren't the only thing that want to kill cats. Foxes, badgers, owls, dogs, there's all kinds of risks to living in the wild. It's unfair that I'm made helpless because of my position." She ranted, pacing back and forth with her odd lurch. 

While Tigerclaw mulled over her words thoughtfully, she turned back to face him. "Now i get to ask a question." She growled "Why were you tracking me?"

Tigerclaw thought carefully about his response. Back when she was a kit, he'd have given her a barbed insult for talking like that but he'd held his tongue since she was five moons old. 

On the day of Longtails warrior ceromony, he'd spotted the tiny molly charging after her friend. She had been putting every ounce of her being into the chase, into being _better_. He'd seen her potential that day.

He'd asked Bluestar to mentor her, but the old fool had told him she was to be a medicine cat instead of a warrior. What a waste! 

Firepaw may be smaller but he had seen the intelligence in her eyes, how quick she was to predict a move, how she used her innocent look to get out of trouble with her mentor, how she could make even the most respected warriors and queens look like mouse-brained apprentices.

All this showed him the makings of a perfect ally. Someone who could fool everyone without them ever knowing, a respected figure to back him up as deputy then leader. 

However, a perfect ally wasn't a medicine cat, respected from a distance with much influence but easily killed and replaced. Unreliable. Once he had learned her new role, he'd quickly tried to find a new apprentice to shape into a fine elite.

However, this showed him a new path, a much better one. A plan began to form in his mind as Thistleclaws words from moons ago flashed in his mind, suddenly making sense. _"A new cat is coming, the side they choose will determine all. Make sure it's ours."_

Tigerclaw smiled down at his new protege, a cat willing to make every step agony for the good of her clan was one he wanted on his side.

"I'll be honest, I was going to rebuke you but then i grew concerned with your walk." He replied truthfully "Why don't I go with you to gather you herbs? That way you can get use to your new claws and teeth without having to worry about damaging anything." He flashed her a kind smile, liftng the two bundle of herbs she had already gathered.

When his head came back up, she was watching him suspisously. Fear lifted his fur slightly at her intense gaze, worrying that she had seen through his act but then she shrugged "Better get moving than, you great lump." She grunted, starting to trot away. 

Tigerclaw blinked at her back, a low growl rumbling in his chest at her disrespect but below it, appreciation for the fearless she-cat glowed.

Picking up another bundle, he began to pad after her. "Are you going to the gathering tonight? I am." He mewed proudly as he came to her side. She was bent over another flower, shaking seeds onto a leaf. 

Sparing him a quick glance, she added them to a bundle "No, I'm staying in camp with Ravenpaw." Firepaw told him, passing the small bundle to him.

Tigerclaw grasped it and nodded, silently following her as she weaved around bushes and trees expertly. Once again, they drew to a stop, by the river this time. 

She bent over the edge of the stone, jaws reaching for the watemint she was after and one of her paws slipping into the river. Firepaw lifted the plant up, turning to find Tigerclaw gone. _'Did he just leave me here?!'_ she thought angrily, dropping the watermint to catch his scent.

A rank stench hit her tongue. Normally, it would make her gag, but she felt herself relax instead. It was Softsteps scent, one that while she may not enjoy it, it was familiar. She swiveled her head around, pacing across the stones and onto the shoreline to try and find her other mentor. The scent only led her to the edge of the river.

Firepaw grimaced as she looked at it, what had happen to the beautiful sparking water? It had turned brown and murky with Softsteps awful stench wafting up from it. _'Tainted.'_ the river was tainted. She backed away from it, not wanting to risk her paws getting splashed on.

She'd have to tell Spottedleaf, the water could poison their watermint supply. Turning, Firepaw got ready to leave when she set her paw down on something burning hot. Jolting it up and hissing, she looked at the wound, expecting a thorn. A burn mark on her paw pad greeted her instead.

"What?" She muttered in confusion looking down. Terror engulfed her. Tiny flames were trailing from the forest to the edge of the rank river, hesitating at its edge. Firepaw backed away, her heart in her throat as the first small flame lapped just barely against the surface of the river. 

Immediately the flames burst into inferno, quickly engulfing the shoreline and making its way toward her hungrily. Firepaw yowled in horror, rushing back to Sunningrocks to avoid the blaze.

Her eyes widened when she skidded to a stop on the rapidly heating rocks. She could only stare, jaws gaping, as the flames devoured the forest. Trees collapsed turning to ash as they crumbled. 

To her absolute terror, she could make out the voices of the cats she loved screeching for mercy deep within the burning forest _"Firepaw!"_. She became lightheaded, lungs burning as smoke scorched them.

 _"Firepaw!"_ she could barely make out the voice over the sound of screams and crackling flames, roaring high into the starless night sky. 

"Night?" She coughed, stumbling across the burning stones, "It was sunhigh!" As if her words had summoned its end, she found herself frozen, jaws clamped around the watermint back on Sunningrocks.

She jerked her head up, pulling the whole plant with her as she stood completely still, sides heaving in shock. Turning, she met Tigerclaws confused and annoyed gaze "Why were you just standing there for moons? Get your plant and let's move on!" He growled. 

Firepaw blinked at him, still in shock. Then shook her head "Yes, yes we need to get back to camp." She muttered distractedly, anywhere but by the river.

"Finally." Tigerclaw huffed, trotting after her as she began to make her way into the forest. Firepaw spared one last glance toward the clean, flame free river then shook herself and padded on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunlight dappled the forest floor as Firepaw roamed around in search of herbs. Three moons had passed since she began her training and she or more importantly Spottedleaf finally felt confident enough to let her travel alone throughout the territory again. 

Her head ached as she remembered the scolding and horror filled looks she had received the day she had gotten her claws and teeth.

Raising her head, she let the scent of the forest flow over her tongue to find any pungent smelling plants. The scent of a twoleg hit her but no herbs. 

She cursed, Firepaw had always assumed Greenleaf would be the best time for herbs to be harvested but the heat had scorched a good number of them, drying out their berries or shriveling their leaves.

Looks could be deceiving however, the forest looked lush and beautiful. "But it's empty." She grumbled as she hopped along through the tall shrubs, eyes locked to the sky wearily. 

With prey out and about, hawks and owls had made their nest in the forest and she was no fool to how easily she could become prey.

She stiffened as the smell of fox hit her nose, treading carefully. The scent was stale, but it hadn't been a day since it had stopped to drink at the stream. 

She perked up as she spotted a water vole drinking from the near by stream, settling to watch it fondly. Her new claws prevented her from hunting since they scrapped the ground and made her strides awkward.

Being surrounded by prey but unable to catch it had left her with a mild fondness for the little creatures of the forest. They were even smaller than her yet they survived in the same harsh environment. A coo escaped her as the vole drug its tiny paws over its large ears to clean them.

A rustle started behind her in the ferns and she glanced back at them. Irritation climbed her pelt when she looked back to see her vole gone, having fled at the noise. From the scent she knew it was a cat and she could tell it was Graypaw. A smirked worked its way onto her face as she thought about a quick revenge plan.

She leaped for the trunk of an ash and climbed swiftly and silently up to an overhanging branch. Below her the oblivious apprentice came closer, and closer still. Firepaw held her breath, judging her moment as the ferns were pushed aside and a large grayish shape emerged.

“Gr-aaar!” The cry rumbled in Firepaw’s throat. She launched herself at her friend and landed squarely on a set of furry, muscular shoulders. “Wa-ah! What’sat?” The body below her shot straight up in the air, carrying her with it.

“Graypaw!” Firepaw called out as the tom bucked beneath her. 

“Ambush! Murr-oww!” spat Graypaw, not realizing that the cat gripping onto his back was Firepaw. He rolled over and over in an attempt to dislodge his attacker.

“Uufff-ff!” Firepaw rolled with him, squashed and flattened beneath the heavy body. “It’s me—Firepaw!” she yowled as she struggled to pull free from under the heavy body. 

Rolling away, she sprang to her paws and gave herself a shake, which rippled all the way along her body to the end of her tail. “Graypaw! It’s me,” she repeated. “I was just teaching you about stealth!”

Graypaw rose to his feet. He winced and shook himself. “Could've just _told_ me what i was doing wrong” he grumbled, twisting his head around to lick his sore shoulders. “You nearly crushed me!" 

“Sorry,” Firepaw mumbled, though they both knew it was far from true. “But i figured it was a fitting punishment for creeping up on me like that.” sniffing, she smirked at him. 

“Creeping up!” Graypaw’s eyes were round with indignation. “That was my best stealth crouch.” he complained.

“Stealth! You still stalk like a lopsided badger!” Firepaw teased. She flattened her ears playfully at him. 

Graypaw gave a mew of delight. “I’ll show you lopsided, you overgrown squirrel!” he chirped.

The two cats leaped at each other and began rolling over and over in a play-fight. Graypaw swiped at Firepaw with a hefty paw and the young apprentice’s head buzzed with stars. “Uufff-ff!” Firepaw shook her head to clear it and then launched a counterattack. 

She managed to get in a couple of paw strikes, careful of her claws and fangs, before Graypaw overpowered her and held her down.

Firepaw let her body go limp. “You give up too easily!” mewed Graypaw, loosening his grip. As he did so, Firepaw slithered from beneath him, whapping him hard across the nose. The tom jerked back instinctively, falling into the undergrowth.

Firepaw leaped after him, landing on his stomach as the tom laid on the ground. “‘Surprise is the warrior’s greatest weapon,’” She crowed, quoting one of Lionheart’s favorite phrases. 

She jumped nimbly off Graypaw and began to squirm around in the leaf litter, enjoying her easy victory and the warmth of the earth against her spotted back.

Graypaw seemed unbothered by his second defeat of the morning. It was too fine a day for bad temper “So how’re you getting on with your task?” he asked. 

Firepaw sat up. “The herbs are all dried up around here, I was just about to move on when I stopped to watch a vole. One you scared off." She jabbed, only mildly annoyed after a good play fight.

To Firepaws surprise, her friend looked devastated by the news "Oh, I'm sorry. I know how much you like to watch the critters." He mewed, rubbing against her in apology.

Firepaw looked at her crestfallen friend. “That’s okay. You didn’t know,” she purred. “Anyway,” she continued, “shouldn’t you be heading to meet the patrol on the WindClan border? I thought you had to give them a message from Bluestar.” 

Graypaw nodded “Yeah, but there’s plenty of time. I was going to do a little hunting first. I’m starving!”

“Me too. But I’ve got to finish gathering some tansy before i can nab something back at camp." She grumbled. “I bet Dustpaw and Sandpaw swallow a shrew or two when they're on hunting duty,” snorted Graypaw. 

Firepaw reared to cuff his ear "They do no such thing!" She hissed playfully "Now if you'll exuse me, I have a task to do."

“And you want to do it right; I know.” Graypaw sighed. 

“Do you know what the message from Bluestar is, anyway?” Firepaw asked, changing the subject. 

“She wants the patrol to wait at the Great Sycamore until she joins them at sunhigh. Seems that some ShadowClan cats have been prowling around. Bluestar wants to check things out.” he replied.

“You’d best get going then,” Firepaw reminded him. 

“The WindClan hunting grounds aren’t too far from here. There’s plenty of time,” answered Graypaw confidently. “And I suppose I should help you out after scaring away your vole.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Firepaw mewed. “If I find the time, I'll find another. It’s such a warm day, there should be quite a few out and about.”

“True. But you'll have more time to watch them if I help.” Graypaw nibbled at a front claw, stripping off a piece of the outer sheath thoughtfully. “You know gathering could take you until way past sunhigh, maybe even until sunset.”

Firepaw nodded without enthusiasm as her belly gave a rumble. She would probably have to make three or four trips before she had gathered enough tansy and borage to satisfy Spottedleaf. Silverpelt would be in the sky before she got a chance to take a break or eat.

Graypaw stroked his whiskers. “Come on; I’ll help you get started on gathering. I owe you that, at least and I should be able to catch a couple of voles for you before I have to get going.” Firepaw followed Graypaw upstream, glad of the company and the help. The fox-stench was still in the air, but suddenly it smelled stronger.

Firepaw paused. “Can you smell that?” she asked. 

Graypaw stopped and sniffed the air too. “Fox. Yeah, I smelled it earlier.” he shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Doesn’t it smell fresher to you now, though?” Firepaw asked.

Graypaw sniffed again, opening his mouth slightly. “You’re right,” he murmured, lowering his voice. He swiveled his head to look across the stream at the bushes in the woods beyond. “Look!” he whispered. 

Firepaw looked. She saw something red and thick-haired moving among the bushes. It stepped into a clearing in the undergrowth and Firepaw saw a low body, glinting red in the dappled sunlight. Its tail was heavily furred and it had a long, narrow snout.

She winced as the snout pulled back, revealing fangs that matched hers perfectly. "Why don't you get some more for your collection, eh?" Graypaw nudged her. Firepaw looked away from him, the clan had been rather disturbed by her new appearance though they'd never tell her to her face.

“So that’s a fox?” Firepaw whispered. “What an ugly snout!” she growled out. 

“You can say that again!” agreed Graypaw. 

“I wonder if we could fight it?” whispered Firepaw. 

“You idiot!” hissed Graypaw. “Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat. We must warn the queens that one has strayed into our territory. Foxes are as bad as badgers when it comes to killing kits. I’m just glad you didn’t catch up with it before you ran into me. He’d have made mousemeat out of a tiny scrap like you.”

Firepaw looked a little put out at that so Graypaw added, “You’d stand a better chance than before, though, with your claws and fangs. Anyway, Bluestar will probably send a patrol to scare it off. Put the queens’ minds at rest.” he grinned.

The fox had not noticed them, so the two apprentices continued along the stream. “So has Lionheart told you what a badger looks like?” Firepaw asked as they prowled along, sniffing to either side. 

“Black and white, short legs. They’re bad-tempered, lumbering animals. They’re less likely to raid the nursery than a fox, but they have a vicious bite. How do you think old Halftail earned his name? He hasn’t been able to climb a tree since a badger bit his tail off!” Graypaw exlaimed

“Why not?” Firepaw asked, shouldn't he have adapted to a new balance? 

“Scared of falling. A cat needs his tail if he wants to land on his feet. It helps him spin in midair.” Firepaw nodded, she could understand that.

As Firepaw had predicted, hunting was good that day. Before long, Graypaw had pounced on a small mouse. He quickly took its life. 

No time to practice killing techniques today; there were too many hungry mouths waiting back at camp. Firepaw kicked earth over the prey for him, so that it would be safe from predators until Graypaw or her came back for it.

Suddenly a squirrel broke cover. Firepaw burst into action. “After it!” she called, pelting at full stretch over the springy woodland floor with Graypaw at her heels. Normally, she wouldn't hunt because she couldn't stalk but the squirrel had already seen them, now it was just a matter of chase.

They skidded to a halt as the squirrel scampered upward into a birch. “Lost it!” Graypaw growled in disappointment. 

Panting, the two cats stopped to catch their breath. The acrid stench that hit their mouths and noses surprised them. “The Thunderpath,” Firepaw mewed. “I didn’t realize we’d come so far.”

The two cats edged forward to peer out of the forest at the great, dark path. It was the first time they had been here alone. A trail of noisy creatures growled along the hard surface, their dead eyes staring straight ahead.

“Yuck!” Graypaw snorted. “Those monsters really stink!” Firepaw twitched her ears in agreement. 

The choking smells made her throat sting. “Have you ever been across the Thunderpath?” she mewed.

Graypaw shook his head. Firepaw took a step out of the cover of the forest. A border of oily grass lay between the trees and the Thunderpath. She crept slowly out onto it, and then shrank back as a stinking monster hurtled past.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Graypaw mewed. Firepaw didn’t reply. She waited until there were no monsters in sight. Then she edged forward again, across the grass, right to the edge of the path. Cautiously, she reached out a paw to touch it. It felt warm,almost sticky, heated by the sun. She looked up, staring across the Thunderpath.

Was that a pair of eyes glinting out of the forest on the other side? She sniffed the air, but smelled nothing except the stench of the great gray path. 

The eyes on the other side were still shining in the shadows. Then they blinked, slowly. Firepaw was sure now. It was a ShadowClan warrior, and it was staring straight at her.

“Firepaw!” Graypaw’s voice made Firepaw jump, just as a huge monster, taller than a tree, roared past her nose. The wind from it almost toppled her over like a small bird. Firepaw turned and ran as fast as she could back into the safety of the forest.

“You mouse-brained fool!” spat Graypaw. His whiskers trembled with fear and anger. “What were you doing?” he demanded. 

“I just wondered what the Thunderpath felt like,” Firepaw muttered. Her whiskers and paws were trembling too.

“Come on,” hissed Graypaw edgily. “Let’s get out of here!” Firepaw followed Graypaw as he leaped away back into the forest. Once they were a safe distance from the Thunderpath, Graypaw stopped to catch his breath. 

Firepaw sat down and began to lick her ruffled fur. “I think I saw a ShadowClan warrior,” she mewed “between licks. “In the forest on the other side of the Thunderpath.”

“A ShadowClan warrior!” echoed Graypaw, his eyes wide. 

“Really?” Firepaw nodded “I’m pretty sure.” she drew a paw over her head, wincing as a long talon caught her ear. 

“Well, it’s a good thing that monster came past when it did,” retorted Graypaw. “Where there’s one ShadowClan warrior, there’s more, and we’re no match for them. We’d better get out of here.” He looked up at the sun, which was almost directly overhead.

“I’d better get a move on if I want to meet that patrol ontime,” he mewed. “See you later.” He sprang away into the undergrowth, calling as he went, “You never know; Lionheart might let me come and help you with the gathering once I’ve delivered this message.” Firepaw watched him go, a dark edge to her thoughts before she sighed.

She envied Graypaw, wishing she were off to join a warrior patrol. But at least she’d have something to tell Dustpaw and Sandpaw when she returned to camp, the two were always curious about her training and adventures as they were rarely allowed out of camp by themselves. A smile edged its way onto her fanged muzzle as she made her way back to where she started.

Today she had seen her first ShadowClan warrior.


	6. Shadowclan lump has joined the chat.

As Firepaw retraced her steps back toward the stream, she thought of those eyes burning from the darkness of the ShadowClan territory. Suddenly she caught a faint smell on the breeze. A stranger! It must be that ShadowClan warrior.

Instantly a growl rumbled in Firepaw’s throat. The scent told her many things. The stranger was a she-cat, not young and definitely not from ThunderClan. She carried no distinct scent from any of the Clans, but Firepaw could tell she was tired, hungry, and sick, and she was in an ugly mood.

Dropping low, Firepaw moved forward, heading toward the scent. Then she paused in confusion. The scent was fainter now. She sniffed again. Suddenly, with a lightning movement, a snarling ball of fur burst from the bushes behind her.

Firepaw screeched in shock as the she-cat slammed into her, knocking her sideways and to the ground where she skidded briefly. Two heavy paws clamped down onto her shoulders, and jaws locked around the back of her neck. “Murr-oww!” she grunted, beginning to think fast. If the other cat were to sink its fangs too deep, it would all be over.

She forced herself to go limp, relaxing her muscles as if in submission, and let out a pretend wail of fear. The she-cat opened her mouth to give a triumphant yowl. “Ah, a puny kit. Easy prey for Yellowfang,” she hissed. 

At the insult, Firepaw felt a surge of fury. Just wait. She’d show this coughed-up furball what kind of threat she was! But then the name she had said registered "Yellowfang? Aren't you a medicine cat?!" She screeched angrily

Medicine cats were allowed on eachothers territory but not to attack one and another! Firepaw didnt give her a chance to respond, surging upward with all the strength in her young body. 

The she-cat gave a snarl of surprise as her paws were forced away from the tiny molly. Firepaw dashed a good distance away before turning to face her with her fox fangs bared.

Firepaw took pleasure in the horrified shock on the wretched she-cats face. Spottedleaf and Bluestar had kept her from gatherings, hoping she might grow a bit more and look over six moons so her appearance must have been quite the shock for an outsider. “Not such easy prey, huh?” she taunted

Yellowfang hissed in defiance as she stalked closer. “Not bad, kit.” she spat back. “But you’ll need to do a lot more than fancy claws and teeth to beat me!” 

Firepaw blinked when she saw her opponent clearly for the first time. The she-cat had a broad, almost flat face, and round orange eyes. Her dark gray fur was long and matted into smelly clumps.

Her ears were torn and ragged, and her muzzle was traced with the scars of many old battles. 

Firepaw stood her ground. She puffed out her chest and glared a challenge into the tresspassers broad face. “You’re in ThunderClan’s hunting ground. Move on if you're not here for Spottedleaf!”

“Who’s going to make me?” Yellowfang drew back her lip defiantly, exposing yellow broken teeth. “You?" She hacked a rusty cackle "Go back to the nursery where you crawled out from. I will hunt. Then I will leave. Or maybe I’ll just stay awhile.”

“So it's a challenge than.” Firepaw spat, feeling a stir of rage she often got when facing Softstep deep inside her. She was itching to fight, to defend her territory and protect her Clan. Yellowfang seemed to sense the change in her. Her fierce orange eyes sparked with new respect.

Dipping her head and breaking eye contact, she started to back off. “No need to be hasty, now,” she purred in a smooth tone. 

Firepaw wasn’t fooled by her trickery. Reinforced claws extended and fur on end, she stalked forward, a final warning ringing out of her mouth: “Get out!”

With a hiss of rage the other cat lunged. Snarling and spitting, young cat and old locked together. They rolled over and over, teeth and claws flashing. 

Ears pressed flat to her head, Firepaw fought to get a grip. The she-cat’s matted fur was no match for her claws, coming out in clumps and allowing her to slice at the skin below.

Then Yellowfang reared up on her back legs. With her filthy tail bristling, she looked even bigger. Firepaw sensed Yellowfang’s huge jaws lunging toward her. She leaned backward, just in time. Bared teeth closed on the empty air next to her ear.

Instinctively Firepaw lashed out with a swipe. Her paw caught the side of Yellowfang’s head, tearing large gashes. _"Yes, excellent!"_ Softsteps encouraging voice rang in her ears as blood dripped from her forepaw. True to Mapleshades word, her claws had thickened enough to withstand her using the reinforced ones.

“Yee-ow!” Yellowfang dropped onto four paws. She shook her head to clear it, splattering blood across the ground. In the single heartbeat before the she-cat recovered, Firepaw saw her chance. 

She threw herself forward, driven by bloodlust. Crouching low she clamped her jaws tight on Yellowfang’s back leg. “Ugh!” The taste of the her fur was dreadful, but Firepaw just chomped down harder.

“Reow-ow-wow!” Yellowfang screamed in agony as the fox fangs pierced deeply. The old she-cat whipped around to snap at Firepaw’s tail. 

Unfortunately for her, Firepaw was too short and she couldn't bend to reach the stubby appendage. Firepaw released her, hopping away quickly and baring her bloodstained teeth in a horrid snarl.

Yellowfang crouched, ready for a fresh attack. Her breath seemed to wheeze from her chest. The scent of her reeking breath blasted Firepaw’s nose. 

Up close, the sight of desperation and weakness, and the aching void of the she-cat’s hunger, was _almost_ pitiful but Firepaw had long since stopped having mercy for cats outside her own clan under Softsteps harsh training.

Her loyalty was to her Clan—not to some mange-pelted tresspasser. Yellowfang lunged forward and Firepaw jerked instantly back into aggression. The bigger cat tried to clamp her paws onto her shoulders and get a killing grip, but this time she was hampered by her wounded leg.

“Get off before you get your stench on me!” Firepaw arched her spine, but Yellowfang managed to dig in her claws and hung on tight. The bigger cat’s weight forced her to the ground. 

Firepaw tasted earth on her tongue and spat out a mouthful of dirt. “Pah!” She twisted to avoid Yellowfang’s thrashing back legs and the thorn-sharp claws that were trying tear open her soft underbelly.

Moments later they broke apart. Firepaw was gasping for breath now. But she sensed that Yellowfang was weakening. 

A cruel smirk worked its way onto her face as words from both Softstep and Mapleshade flashed in her mind _"A weak enemy is a dead enemy."_ and here was the proof.

The she-cat was badly wounded, and her back legs could barely support her scrawny body. “Have you had enough yet?” Firepaw growled. If the intruder gave up, she’d let her go and bleed out in peace.

“Never!” Yellowfang hissed back bravely. But her injured leg gave way and she slumped to the ground. She tried to get up and failed. 

Her eyes were dull as she hissed up at Firepaw, “If I weren’t so hungry and tired, I’d have shredded you into mousedust.” The she-cat’s mouth twisted in pain and defiance. “Finish me off. I won’t stop you.”

Firepaw hesitated. She’d never killed another cat before. Especially in cold blood. "Finish her!" Softstep screeched at her though Firepaw couldn't see the dead molly. 

She lifted a bloodstained paw, confict rising in her before she sighed and dropped it. This wasn't a battle anymore. This was something very different.

“What are you waiting for?” Yellowfang taunted. “You’re dithering like a kittypet!” 

Firepaw growled at the she-cat’s words. "You're one to talk, you toad. Hunched on the ground like a pathetic piece of prey." She snarled "Stand and have courage in the face of an enemy you can't beat."

Yellowfangs eyes widened before they narrowed "Big talk from a small cat. You tell me to have courage yet you have none of your own!" She hissed. 

Firepaw growled lowly "I have plenty more than you."

“Prove it! Act like a warrior and finish me off. You’ll be doing me a favor.” Firepaw stared at her flatly. She would not be goaded into killing this miserable creature. The consequences of it being discovered by her own clan wouldn't be worth it. 

She relaxed her muscles as curiosity pricked her. How had a Clan cat, a medicine cat no less, gotten in such a state? ThunderClan elders were looked after better than kits, and the medicine cats were practically worshipped! “You seem in an awful hurry to die,” she meowed, flicking a paw up to groom the blood off. 

“Yeah? Well, that’s my business, mouse-brain,” Yellowfang snapped. “What’s your problem, kit? Are you trying to talk me to death?” Her words were brave, but Firepaw could smell the hunger and sickness that were coming off the other cat in waves.

Firepaw rolled her eyes, she wouldn't waste her claws on this cat. She was going to die anyway if she didn’t eat soon. And since she could hardly hunt for herself.....

Perhaps she should kill her now. The two cats looked at each other, uncertainty in both their gazes. “Wait here,” Firepaw ordered at last. 

Yellowfang seemed to deflate. Her hackles smoothed out and her tail lost its gorse-bush stiffness. “Are you kidding, kit? I’m going nowhere.” She grunted, limping painfully toward a patch of soft heather. 

She flopped down and began licking her leg wound. Firepaw glanced briefly over her shoulder at her and cursed quietly in exasperation before heading for the trees.

As she padded with her strange jolt through the ferns, sun-warmed odors filled her nose, which wrinkled as she caught the sour reek of a long-dead rat. She calmed down from the excitement of her fight as she heard the scratching of insects beneath bark, the rustle of furry things scurrying over leaves. 

She padded toward the Great Sycamore, intent on fetching Bluestars patrol. While there was nothing wrong with a medicine crossing their terriory, one that tried to kill another isn't exactly welcome. Besides, there was no Shadowclan scent on her anymore. As far as Firepaw was concerned, she was just another rogue.

Finally, she came upon the patrol, heading opposite of Windclan territory. "Bluestar!" She called, hopping over large roots to get closer to her "Intruder by the stream!" Immedently the patrol was on guard.

"Rouge, kittypet, or loner?" Willowpelt growled, coming up behind Bluestar. 

"It's Yellowfang, the old Shadowclan medicine cat, only she doesn't carry their scent and attacked me when I found her." She intentionally left out the part of Yellowfang actually finding her. She had her pride.

Tigerclaw shoved past Darkstripe, nosing about her pelt "You didn't get hurt too bad, did you? I smell blood." He tone was angry and concerned. The two often trained together in their dreams and shared prey during the day. Firepaw liked to think they had a fine friendship.

She batted his nose away "I'm fine, it's not mine." She hissed "The old bat was too arrogant and got a good bite to the leg for it. I doubt she'll have gone anywhere by the time we get there." 

Tigerclaw pulled back, amber eyes lighting with mirth "You beat a seasoned warrior?" He chuckled fondly, wrapping a tail around her.

Darkstripe snorted "We've all seen Yellowfang. She's an old medicine cat who hasn't fought in seasons, I'm sure even a mouse could beat her." Firepaw narrowed her eyes at him over Tigerclaws tabby tail. 

Bluestar stole her attention "Lead us to her Firepaw." She ordered sternly.

The tiny molly nodded, hopping over Tigerclaws tail and walking alongside him as she began to lead them to the now cripped intruder. "So what happened with Windclan? I thought it would've taken longer to get to their camp amd back." She asked the large tom after a long while.

He glanced back at her "They weren't there. Shadowclan scent was on every inch of land and all the Windclan cats have fled." He answered shortly, his tone clipped. Firepaw nearly stumbled in amazement, how powerful a clan must be to chase out another!

"Maybe we'll get some answers from your prisoner!" Graypaw grinned as he bounded up to her. 

Bluestar nodded "Hopefully." The leaders eyes were shadowed with worry. Soon, they had arrived at Yellowfangs heather patch. The old molly tried to run but her leg wouldn't support her, giving out when she stood.

"Ugh, this leg's stiffened while i was resting." She growled, backing away from the group. Firepaw wrinkled her nose in disgust at the fear scent leaking from the old molly though she respected how she glared defiantly instead of cowering.

"Yellowfang, we've not seen you in our territory for many moons. Why is it you're so far into Thunderclans grounds, attacking random apprentices?" Bluestar mewed cooly. 

Yellowfang wheezed a harsh laugh, jabbing a claw a Firepaw "You call that spiky rabbit an apprentice?" She chuckled for a few more moments "Never thought you of all cats, Bluestar, would mutilate and apprentice a kit."

Firepaw growled loudly, stalking forward to shove her head into Yellowfangs face aggressively "You oughta show some respect flea-bag! Bluestar is a noble leader unlike your Shadowclan scum. She apprenticed me at the right age and i did this to myself to help against rogues like you!" She shot out, ignoring the flashes of memories full of pleads and pain. She was panting with anger, what right did this pathetic elderly rogue have to disrespect her leader?!

Yellowfangs orange eyes were wide as she stared down at the furious molly. Then she looked back up at the stunned patrol, barking out a raspy laugh "I like this one, she's got spunk!" She chuckled, wrapping a tail around Firepaw fondly. The tiny molly spat, trying to climb out from her tail only to get tangled in the long clumped fur.

"Let me go mange-pelt!" She yowled, wiggling about as the fur snagged on her claws and tangled arpund her small limbs "I'll shred you!" 

Yellowfang only purred, "No offense to you kit," she yawned "But I feel like I'm being threatened by a mouse."

Tigerclaw finally had mercy upon her, coming forth to pluck her from the gray furred prision. He set her down gently beside Graypaw, giving a quick lick to a stray tuft of ruffled fur on top of her head. Firepaw huffed, turning her head to groom her pelt angrily

Bluestar was glaring at the former medicine cat "Now if you two are quite done." She hissed "Why are you here? Does Shadowclan need herbs?" 

Yellowfang glared back "I wouldn't know, I travel alone now." She gritted out.

Darkstripe hissed "Then this old cat is no use to us, lets just kill her now!" He worked his paws against the ground. 

Firepaw whipped her head toward him, "You mouse-brained idiot!" She growled "She may not be a healer anymore but she has walked alongside Starclan, do you wish to bring down their wrath to satisfy your bloodlust?"

“Keep your claws in, Darkstripe,” Bluestar purred calmly. “All the Clans speak of Yellowfang’s bravery and wisdom. It may help us to hear what she has to say. Come; we’ll take her back to camp. Then we’ll decide what to do with her. Can you walk?” she asked Yellowfang. “Or do you need help?”

“I’ve still got three good legs,” the grizzled she-cat snapped back, glaring at Firepaw lightly as she limped forward. Firepaw saw that Yellowfang’s eyes were glazed with pain, but she seemed determined not to show any weakness. 

She noticed a look of respect flicker across Bluestar’s face before the ThunderClan leader turned and slowly led the way through the trees. 

The other warriors took up positions on either side of Yellowfang, and the patrol moved off, carefully keeping pace with their lame prisoner.

As the patrol passed the sentries who guarded the camp entrance, the rest of ThunderClan came running to welcome their warriors home. Queens, kits, and elders crowded on either side. They peered curiously at Yellowfang as she was led into the camp.

Some of the elders recognized the old she-cat. Word spread quickly through the Clan that this was ShadowClan’s medicine cat, and a steady jeering hum rose up around them. Yellowfang seemed deaf to the taunts. Firepaw couldn’t help admiring the way she limped with dignity through the rows of stares and insults.

She knew the old gray cat was in a great deal of pain, and hungry.When the patrol reached the Highrock, Bluestar nodded toward the dusty ground in front of it. 

Yellowfang followed the ThunderClan leader’s silent command, sinking gratefully onto the earth. Still ignoring the hostile stares around her, she began licking her wounded leg.

Firepaw noticed Spottedleaf emerge from her corner. She must have scented the presence of an injured cat in the camp. 

She watched the crowd part to let the young tortoiseshell through. Yellowfang glared at Spottedleaf and hissed, “I know how to take care of my own wounds. I don’t need your help.” Spottedleaf said nothing but nodded respectfully and stepped back. Firepaw growled lowly _'Don't speak to her like that!'_

Some of the cats had been out hunting, and fresh-kill was brought for the returning warriors to eat. They each took some food and carried it away to the nettle patch to eat it. 

Then the other Clan cats crowded forward to take their own share. Firepaw joined them, taking a sparrow for herself and trotting across the clearing to lay beside Spottedleaf.

Her mentor smiled down at her "Busy day, huh?" He asked, biting into a mouse. Firepaw plucked feathers from her prey "You have no idea." She muttered. 

Spottedleaf hummed "I hope it wasn't so busy that you forgot your task." She said gently. 

Firepaw froze, her mouth halfway to her bird. "Uhh..." she stared dumbly for a few moments.

Instantly Spottedleafs face dropped "Firepaw, we need to store those so we could spend a few days on your training!" She mewed dispairingly. Firepaw glanced at her paws guiltily. 

Dried blood still clung to her reinforced claws and for a moment, she wanted to snap back at her sweet mentor.

Yes, she didn't do her task but she had done something far better, far more _important_. She'd defended her terriory from a tresspasser and fought them! Not only that but she'd won. Something none of the clan thought she could do.

Firepaw found she quite liked the feel of her claws slicing through an enemys pelt.

But she couldn't tell Spottedleaf all this. It would just make her stack on duties in the hopes something would click and Firepaw would adore being a medicine cat as much as she did.

"I'm sorry Spottedleaf, i was in a dry part of the forest and couldn't find much. Then that wretched she-cat came out of nowhere and attacked me." She whimpered, pressing her ears down flat. Just as Firepaw predicted, her mentors face softened.

Spottedleaf shook her head "We'll just have to go out tomorrow." She sighed, getting up to go to their shared den after burying her mouses bones. Firepaw relaxed, happy the distracted molly had forgot to punish her.

Stretching, she went to the dirtplace, throwing her bird remains in and started to make her way to where Graypaw and Sandpaw were chatting. She paused beside the Highrock where Bluestar was sharing words with Tigerclaw. 

The gray cat and her senior warrior were busy murmuring at one another in low tones. Firepaw wondered if they were talking about Yellowfang. Desperately curious, she strained her ears to hear what they were saying.

Tigerclaw’s yowl sounded impatient. “It’s just too dangerous to bring an enemy warrior into the heart of ThunderClan! Now that she knows the camp, even the youngest ShadowClan kit will hear of it. We will have to move.” 

“Calm down, Tigerclaw,” Bluestar purred. “Why should we move? Yellowfang says that she is traveling alone now. There is no reason for ShadowClan to hear of it.”

“Do you really believe that? What on earth would make a medicine cat leave their clan?” Tigerclaw spat. 

“Think for a moment, Tigerclaw,” mewed Bluestar. “You seem to be afraid that Yellowfang will share our Clan secrets with ShadowClan, but have you thought about how many ShadowClan secrets she might share with us?”

Firepaw could see by the way Tigerclaw’s fur began to flatten that Bluestar’s words made sense. The warrior nodded briefly, and then stalked off to take his share of the fresh-kill. Firepaw was impressed by Bluestar for the first time in a long time. What a conniving move.

Bluestar remained where she was. She looked out across the clearing, where some of the younger kits were fighting and tumbling playfully in the dust. Then she stood up and began to walk past Firepaw. She did not even glance at her; her eyes were clouded with unknown distant thoughts. “Frostfur!” she called out as she approached the nursery.

A pure white cat with dark blue eyes slipped out of the brambles. Inside, the noise of mewling grew louder. “Hush, kits,” purred the white cat reassuringly. “I won’t be long.” Then she turned to her leader. “Yes, Bluestar? What is it?”

“One of our apprentices has seen a fox in the area. Warn the other queens to guard the nursery carefully. And make sure all kits less than six moons stay inside the camp until our warriors have driven it away.” 

Frostfur nodded. “I will pass on the warning, Bluestar. Thank you.” Then she turned and squeezed back into the nursery to quiet the crying kits.

At last Bluestar strode over to the pile of fresh-kill and took her share. A plump wood pigeon had been left for her there. Firepaw looked on longingly as she carried it away to eat with the senior warriors. How long would she have to wait before she could sit among them as well?

A nose bumped her shoulder, startling her. Turning, she found Tigerclaw and Longtail smiling at her, "Come, you can help us with this rabbit." Longtail offered, laying next to her. 

Tigerclaw slid the rabbit infront of her but Firepaw shook her head, "I've had my share."

"Have you now?" Tigerclaw rumbled, "Well, theres no sense in denying good prey when its offered. Take a few bites, you'll need your energy." He nudged her, flicking her ear with his tail. 

She purred, taking a small bite, "I know, training can be exhausting but its worth it." She mumbled around the rabbit.

"Whats so tiring about learning herbs?" Darkstripe huffed as he settled on Tigerclaws other side. 

Firepaw narrowed her eyes at him, sharing a secretive smile with Tigerclaw. "Oh, you know, traveling all over the territory to find them." She replied sarcastically.

Darkstripe snorted, biting into his squirrel "Because walking is so difficult." He spat around his mouthful. Firepaw wanted to snap back at him but Tigerclaw laid a tail over her shoulder, shaking his head slightly. Firepaw sighed, taking another bite of their rabbit and gazing around the camp.

Her green eyes locked on the apprentice den, an ache growing in her chest as she spotted her three siblings in the entrance. They had gotten rather distant to her in the last few moons, hardly coming to visit her at all, though thay still asked about her adventures outside camp. 

It had gotten to the point that at times, she thought she saw mistrust in their eyes when they looked at her, but she couldn't be sure if it was her imagination.

She knew it wasn't this time. On opposite sides of the camp, she could see them whispering to each other, glancing over at her group every once in a while and narrowing their eyes.

Bluestar’s call sounded across the clearing, pulling Firepaw from ger thoughts. “Let all those cats old enough to catch their own prey join together for a meeting of our Clan.” Most of the warriors had finished eating and were busy grooming themselves. 

They lifted themselves gracefully to their paws and walked over to the Highrock, where Bluestar waited to speak.

“Come on,” mewed Tigerclaw as he lifted himself up. Longtail and Firepaw followed him as he stalked over and nudged his way forward into a good position. 

“I’m sure you have all heard about the prisoner we brought back with us today,” Bluestar began. “But there is something else you need to know.” She glanced down at the raddled she-cat who lay very still beside the Highrock. “Can you hear me from there?” she asked.

“I may be old, but I’m not deaf yet!” Yellowfang spat in reply. 

Bluestar ignored the prisoner’s hostile tone and continued. “I’m afraid I have some very grave news. Today I traveled with a patrol into WindClan territory. The air was filled with the scent of ShadowClan. Almost every tree had been sprayed by ShadowClan warriors. And we met no WindClan cats even though we journeyed deep into their heartland.”

Her words were met with silence. Firepaw saw confusion in the faces of the Clan cats. “Do you mean ShadowClan has chased them out?” called Smallear hesitantly. 

Firepaw rolled her eyes, what else could the leader have meant? “We can’t be sure,” Bluestar meowed. “Certainly the scent of ShadowClan was everywhere. We found blood, too, and fur. There must have been a battle, though we found no bodies from either Clan.”

A shocked yowl rose from the crowd in a single voice. Firepaw felt the cats around her stiffen with shock and fury. Never before had one Clan driven another from its hunting grounds. 

“How can WindClan have been driven out?” One-eye croaked hoarsely. “ShadowClan is fierce, but WindClan is many. They have lived in the uplands for generations. Why have they been chased out now?” She shook her head anxiously, her whiskers trembling.

“I don’t know the answers to any of your questions,” meowed Bluestar. “It is well known that Shadowclan has recently appointed a new leader, following the death of Raggedstar. Their new leader, Brokenstar, gave no hint of any threat when we met him at the last Gathering.”

“Perhaps Yellowfang has answers?” snarled Darkstripe. “After all, she is of ShadowClan!” the ragged she-cat bristled at his words. 

“I am no traitor! Nothing would make me share the secrets of ShadowClan with a brute like you!” growled Yellowfang, glaring aggressively at Darkstripe. The ThunderClan warrior moved forward, ears flat, eyes closed to slits, he was ready for a fight.

“Stop!” yowled Bluestar. Darkstripe immediately halted in his tracks, even though Yellowfang goaded him on with blazing eyes and a ferocious hiss. “That’s enough!” Bluestar growled. “This situation is too serious for us to be fighting among ourselves. ThunderClan must prepare itself. From this moonrise onward, warriors will travel in larger groups. Other Clan members will remain close to the camp. Patrols will travel the boundary edges more frequently, and all the kits must stay in the nursery.”

The cats below her nodded in agreement. Bluestar continued. “Our need for warriors is our greatest obstacle. We shall get around this by speeding up the training of our apprentices. They need to be ready even sooner to fight for our Clan.” Firepaw saw Dustpaw and Sandpaw exchange a thrilled glance. 

Graypaw was gazing up at Bluestar, his eyes wide with excitement. Ravenpaw just shuffled his paws anxiously. The black apprentice’s wide eyes showed worry rather than excitement.

Firepaw curled her lip _'Coward.'_ she should be the one in his place, he obviously didn't have the taste for battle that she did. "What of Yellowfang?" She called out, twitching an ear at the gasps. 

She'd never understood why cats were so offended when a young cat spoke up, as long as they had something valid to say then shouldn't they be heard?

"Yes, what of the cat who attacked our healer apprentice?" Tigerclaw growled, baring his teeth at the she-cat in question. Bluestar stared into Tigerclaw’s fierce eyes for a moment before lifting her head to address the whole Clan once more. 

“Yellowfang will be allowed to stay here until she has recovered her strength. We are warriors, not savages. She is to be treated with respect and courtesy.”

“But the Clan cannot support Yellowfang,” Darkstripe protested. “We have too many mouths to feed already.”

“Yeah!” Graypaw whispered into Firepaw’s ear. “And some of them are bigger than others!” Firepaw nodded in agreement, though it was begrudgingly with Darkstripe. 

Frostfurs kits had begun to eat prey alongside Goldenflowers. Soon Brindleface would give birth and they'd need even more prey for her. It shouldn't be spared to elderly _outsiders_.

“I don’t need anyone to care for me!” spat Yellowfang. “And I’ll split open anyone who tries!” 

“Friendly, isn’t she?” Graypaw murmured. Firepaw flicked the tip of her tail in silent agreement. There were muffled meows from the other warriors as they grudgingly recognized the enemy warrior’s fighting spirit.

Bluestar ignored the murmuring. "Firepaw, as the one responsible for bringing her to us, it will be your responsibility to care for Yellowfang. You will fetch prey for her and tend her wounds. You will gather fresh bedding and clear away her dirt.” Firepaw felt Tigerclaw and Longtail stiffen beside her, their jaws gaping. 

"That bag of bones attacked her and now you wish to make her care for the crowfood!?" Longtail spat, his ears pulled back. Fury lifted Firepaws fur but she knew Bluestar would not bow to any cats protests. It was one of the only things Firepaw respected about the she-cat now, even as it was used against her.

"Firepaw will do well in learning to care about those weaker than herself." Bluestar mewed, sharing a look with Spottedleaf. 

“Yes, Bluestar,” Firepaw gritted out, her head bowed in submission. _'Clear away her dirt!'_ she cringed as she looked at the furious elder. Why did Bluestar hate her so?

“I’d go and see to Yellowfang, if I were you,” whispered Graypaw, as the clan shuffled away. “She’s doesn’t look very happy.” Firepaw glanced over at the old she-cat. She was still lying beside the Highrock. Graypaw was right; she was glaring at her.

“Well, I'm not either. Wish me luck!” she grunted. 

“You’ll need the whole of StarClan on your side for this one,” answered Graypaw. “Call out if you need a paw. If she looks like she’s going to have you, I’ll sneak up behind her and whack her on the head with a stiff rabbit.”

Firepaw purred with amusement and trotted off toward Yellowfang. Her cheerfulness quickly evaporated as she neared the injured elder. The old cat was clearly in a terrible mood. She hissed a warning and showed her teeth. “Stop right there, kit!”

Firepaw bared her teeth. It seemed she was in for a fight, one she wouldn't lose. Yellowfang was still hungry and tired while Firepaw had eaten more than enough and no longer needed much sleep to function. She opened her mouth, prepared to let out a barbed response when movement caught her eye.

Her ear flicked and a groan caught in her throat when she saw Spottedleaf poking her head out from their den, watching her sternly. It seems she wouldn't be able to fight after all. “You can call me what you like,” she mewed wearily. “I’m just following Bluestar’s orders.”

“You are a kit, though, aren’t you?” Yellowfang wheezed. _'She’s exhausted'_ , Firepaw thought, feeling a flash of pride that she'd managed to tire the old molly out so much. 

There was less fire in her voice, although her spite was as strong as ever. “No, I'm nine moons old. We don't know why I'm so small, I just am.” Firepaw replied calmly, though her glare was anything but.

“Your mother or father as small as you?” the old molly asked. 

“No, normal sized.” Firepaw looked down at the ground, feeling resentment burn inside her. It was bad enough that members of her own Clan still viewed her as little more than an apprenticed kit. She certainly didn’t have to answer to this foul-tempered prisoner.

Yellowfang seemed to take her silence as an invitation to go on. “You won't ever gain respect like this. Why don’t you run to your nursery now instead of looking after me? It’s humiliating, being fussed over by a low status cat like you!”

Firepaw’s patience ran out. She snarled angrily, “You’d still feel humiliated even if I were a Starclan warrior. You’d feel ashamed whether I was a precious she-cat from your own Clan or a wretched Twoleg that had picked you off the ground.” she lashed her tail from side to side. “It’s the fact that you need to rely on any cat that you find so humiliating and rightly so, I'd never let myself get to where you lay, death would be better than this!”

She paced from side to side "You have the gall to insult me, call me low when here you sit as the prisioner of an enemy clan. You're old, starving, crippled, and no use to any clan or creature as anything more than prey so shut your muzzle!" Firepaw yowled, her paw twitching to slash the arrogant molly across the face.

Yellowfang stared at her, her orange eyes very wide. Firepaw carried on fiercely: “You’re just going to have to get used to being cared for until you are well enough to look after yourself, you flea bitten old bone bag!”

She stopped as Yellowfang began to make a low, harsh, wheezing sound. Alarmed, Firepaw took a step toward her. The she-cat was trembling all over and her eyes had narrowed into tiny slits. Was she having some kind of a fit? Firepaw couldn't have her die within a few moments of being under her care. Spottedleaf would never let her hear the end of it.

“Whats wrong with you?” she growled, before she suddenly realized that the old fox-dung was laughing! 

“Mr-ow, ow-ow,” she mewled, a purr rumbling up from deep inside her chest. Firepaw didn’t know what to do, this wasn't how cats usually responded to her rants.

“You have spirit, kit.” Yellowfang croaked, stopping at last. “Now, I’m tired and my leg hurts. I need sleep and something to put on this wound. Go and find that pretty little medicine cat of yours and ask her for some herbs. I think you’ll find a goldenrod poultice would help. And, while you’re at it, I wouldn’t mind a few poppy seeds to chew on. The pain is killing me!”

Stunned by her change of mood, Firepaw turned quickly and sprinted toward Spottedleaf’s den. She had never met a cat so unbothered by her harsh words. 

With her ears pricked, she padded through the cool green tunnel of ferns that led into the medicine dens small grassy clearing. Spottedleaf trotted out to meet her as she pushed the rest of the way into the clearing.

As usual, Firepaws mentor looked bright-eyed and friendly, her dappled coat gleaming with a hundred shades of amber and brown. Firepaw grunted a greeting, and reeled off Yellowfang’s list of herbs and seeds, her mood still sour.

“We’ve got most of those in our den,” replied Spottedleaf. “I’ll fetch some marigold leaves too. If she dresses her wound with that, it’ll keep off any infection. Wait here.” she instructed. 

“Thanks,” Firepaw mewed as the medicine cat disappeared back into their den. Thank Starclan she didn't have to fetch them. She was all to tempted to swap the poppy seeds with Foxglove.

Spottedleaf emerged from the gloom and dropped a bundle folded in leaves by Firepaw’s feet. “Tell Yellowfang to go easy on the poppy seeds. I don’t want her to deaden the pain entirely. A little pain can be useful, as it will help us judge how well she is healing.” 

Firepaw nodded and picked up the herbs carefully with her fox teeth. “Thanks, Spottedleaf!” she mewed through the mouthful of leaves, then headed back through the fern tunnel into the main clearing.

Tigerclaw was sitting outside the warriors’ den, watching her pad across the clearing closely. He waved his tail in farewell as the two met eyes met eyes to which Firepaw returned. As she made her way to Yellowfang, she still felt the prickled of eyes watching her.

She turned his head and looked at back Tigerclaw curiously only to see Darkstripe had replaced him. The warrior narrowed his eyes and looked away. Firepaw shrugged and dropped the bundle beside Yellowfang.

“Good,” she meowed. “Now, before you leave me in peace, find me something to eat. I’m starving!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tigerclaw grunted as Firepaw leapt at him, smashing into his side and gripping it with long claws "So how's training Scaredpaw going?" She mewed, dodging as he snapped at her with his fangs. Tigerclaw hissed, slinging around in a circle. The momentum sent Firepaw flying.

Remembering Graypaws words, she used her tail to twist herself mid air. She hit the ground hard, skidding for a few tail-lengths then turning to charged her tabby opponent. 

"Awful, that tom wouldn't know how to track a cat if it was right infront of him!" The large tom hissed, dodging Firepaws swipes and aiming a hefty one for her head.

"Try not to be so hard on him. I may not like the furball, but he's still my brother." Tigerclaw rolled his eyes. A mistake as it allowed Firepaw to score a bite on his foreleg. 

The tabby hissed and backed away "He's not your brother and he hasn't been acting as such anyway. Haven't you noticed how secretive him, Graypaw, and Sandpaw have gotten? They hardly speak to you anymore."

Firepaw had been reared on her hindlegs but at this, she flattened her ears and fell to the ground "I have, but they're just...busy." She insisted "We have different training so I understand that they don't always have time for me." 

Tigerclaw _mrrowed_ in sympathy, coming to sit next to her "I'm busy, I have more duties than them and yet I always find time to spend with you." He murmured, wrapping a tail around her.

"In their defense, we spend most of our time together fighting in our dreams." She mewed weakly. 

Tigerclaw purred, a strained smile on his muzzle "We spend time with eachother in the waking world, it's just better here. Without prying eyes." Firepaw nodded in agreement. She'd seen the looks the clan had given them, after all it was strange for them to see a respected warrior with an apprentice.

"Why aren't you two training? You can talk any other time, here you fight!" Softstep hissed, melting from the shadows. Tigerclaw yawned as he saw Mapleshade pad from the shadows behind her but he tensed as he spotted the cat beside her. Thistleclaw.

The tom padded forward, looking Firepaw over. Tigerclaw tensed more, bringing his protege closer into his side. She had burrowed some at the sight of Mapleshade. Tigerclaw didn't know why, but he knew that she feared her. A rare thing for Firepaw.

He leveled the trio with a cool stare. They knew he was trying to gain Firepaws trust and to do that, he needed her alone. She couldn't have anyone to turn to besides him. 

Her friends and family were doing that for him by excluding her and Tigerclaw himself would soon tell her the truth behind her heritage to make himself her most honest friend among all the clan.

Alone meant alone however. A thought that seared itself into his mind as he met the disgusted eyes of Mapleshade who glared at him angrily. "We have been training. All night in fact, we took a break but its almost dawn." He replied smoothly. Firepaw glanced up at him, the emotions he often showed to her had vanished, replaced by his usual cold demeanor.

"Yeah, I have to go care for that old mange-pelt." She grumbled. Tigerclaw purred "Good luck." He rumbled, his form fading as he released his grip on the shadowy forest. 

Firepaw swallowed as he vanished, left alone to face the dead cats on her own. Softstep let a low growl rumble in her chest, that tom was so foolish to think he was anything but a means to an end. Firepaw was the only apprentice they had that mattered.

Softstep moved forward, coming to wrap around Firepaws stiff form. The tiny molly was terrified but she gritted her teeth, narrowing her eyes in a challenge at her mentor. Despite her fear, a glow of pride flickered under her pelt as she saw approval in her mentors eyes at long last.

"What is your clan?" Softstep murmured in her ear, letting her shadows morph around Firepaw, incasing her in a choking darkness. 

"Thunderclan." She answered firmly. 

"What matters most to you?" The tabby ventured, her shadows pressing so tightly around the tiny cat that it was as if they passed through Firepaws skin, it felt like her very soul was being consumed by them.

"Becoming a worthy warrior to serve my clan." She grunted, holding still despite the terror and agony the shadows brought her. They were so thick around her that she could make out nothing beyond Softstep. Mapleshade and Thistleclaw had vanished into their inky depths.

"Who is more important than that?" Softstep purred, brushing her bloodsoaked pelt against Firepaws excitedly. The tiny molly looked up at her with determination as she released herself from the dream world.

"No one."

Three sunrises had passed since Yellowfang had entered the camp. Firepaw woke from her dream early and made her way out of her den and to the apprentice den where she nudged Graypaw, who was still asleep beside Ravenpaw, his nose tucked under his thick tail. “Wake up,” Firepaw mewed, tone laced with annoyance.

“Or you’ll be late for training.” Graypaw lifted his head sleepily and growled in reluctant agreement as he stretched, jaws gaped in a yawn. Firepaw prodded Ravenpaw reluctantly. 

The black cat opened his eyes immediately and leaped to his feet. “What is it?” he mewed, looking around wildly.

“Calm down, Ravenpaw. It’s time for training soon,” Firepaw rolled her eyes at his jumpy attitude, gazing toward her other siblings. Dustpaw and Sandpaw beginning to stir in their mossy nests on the far side of the den. With her job done, Firepaw stood up and pushed her way out of the ferns.

The morning was warm. Firepaw could see a deep blue sky through the leaves and branches that overhung the camp. Today, however, a heavy dew glistened on the fern fronds and sparkled on the grass. Firepaw sniffed the air. Greenleaf was drawing to a close, and soon it would start to feel colder.

She laid down and rolled in the earth beside the tree stump, stretching her legs and tipping her head back to rub it on the cool ground. Then she flipped over onto her side, and looked across the clearing to see if Yellowfang was awake yet.

She had been given a resting place at the other end of the fallen tree where the elders gathered to eat. Her nest lay tucked against its mossy trunk, out of hearing of the elders, but in full view of the warriors’ den across the clearing. Firepaw could just see a mound of pale gray fur, rising and falling in time to a gentle rumble of sleep.

Graypaw trotted out of the den behind her, followed by Sandpaw and Dustpaw. Ravenpaw appeared last, with a nervous glance around the clearing before he emerged fully into the open. “Another day looking after that mangy old fleabag, eh, Firepaw?” mewed Dustpaw. “Sorry you can't go out training with us.”

Firepaw sat up and shook the dust from her fur. She was in too fine a mood to let herself get annoyed by her duties. “Don’t worry, Firepaw,” murmured Graypaw "You'll be done caring for the hag in no time.”

“Perhaps she's better off staying in camp, tending to the sick,” mewed Sandpaw nervously, rubbing her cheek against her little sisters head "Shadowclans on the prowl after all." 

Firepaw decided to ignore her unintentionally insulting comments and backed away, running a paw over her head to straighten her fur. “What is Whitestorm teaching you today, Sandpaw?” she mewed

“We’re doing battle training today. He’s going to teach me how warrior fights,” Sandpaw replied proudly. 

“Lionheart’s taking me to the Great Sycamore,” mewed Graypaw, “to practice my climbing. I’d best go. He’ll be waiting.”

“I’ll come with you to the top of the ravine,” mewed Firepaw. “I need some fresh air to prepare for today. Coming, Ravenpaw? Tigerclaw must have something planned for you.” Ravenpaw sighed and nodded, then followed Graypaw and Firepaw as they trotted out of the camp. Even though his injury was completely healed, he still seemed to have little enthusiasm for warrior training.

Firepaw didn't spend long at the top of the ravine, instead she headed back down after bidding the other apprentices goodbye. She only paused to snatch some prey on her way to Yellowfang.

“Here,” mewed Firepaw. She dropped a large mouse and a chaffinch onto the ground beside Yellowfang. 

“About time,” she growled. The she-cat had still been sleeping when Firepaw had entered the camp after her little get away. But the smell of fresh-kill must have woken her, for now she had pulled herself into a sitting position.

She dropped her head and hungrily gulped down Firepaw’s offerings. She had developed a massive appetite as her strength returned. Her wound was healing well, but her temper remained as fierce and unpredictable as ever. She finished her meal and complained, “The base of my tail itches like fury, but I can’t reach it. Give it a wash, will you?”

With an inward shudder, Firepaw crouched down and set to work. As she cracked the plump fleas between her teeth, she noticed a gang of small kits tumbling in the dusty earth nearby. They were mauling each other and play-fighting, sometimes quite viciously.

Yellowfang, who had closed her eyes as Firepaw groomed her, half opened one eye to observe the kits as they played. To her surprise, Firepaw felt her spine stiffen beneath her teeth.

She listened for a moment to the tiny yelps and squeaks of the kits. “Feel my teeth, Brokenstar!” mewed one small tabby, Lynxkit if Firepaw remembered correctly. 

She leaped onto the back of a little gray-and-white Swiftkit, who was pretending to be the ShadowClan leader. The two kits bundled toward the Highrock. Firepaw purred as she listened to their antics _'They'll make fine warriors.'_

Suddenly Swiftkit gave a mighty heave and flung his sister from his back. With a startled squeak, the patched tabby cannoned into Yellowfang’s side. Instantly the old she-cat leaped to her feet, fur on end, spitting violently. “Stay away from me, you scrap of fur!” she hissed. The tiny kit took one look at the furious cat, turned tail, and ran.

She hid herself behind Speckledtail, the head nursery queen, who was staring furiously across the clearing at Yellowfang. The gray-and-white kit froze where he stood. Then, paw by paw, he cautiously backed away toward the safety of the nursery.

Yellowfang’s reaction had shocked Firepaw. She thought she’d seen her at her most vicious when they fought after their first meeting, but her eyes burned with a new rage now. “I think the kits are finding it hard being confined to camp,” she mewed cautiously. “They’re getting restless.”

“I don’t care how restless they are,” growled Yellowfang. “Just keep them away from me!”  


“Don’t you like kits?” Firepaw asked, curious in spite of herself. “Did you never have kits of your own?” a grumble left her as a plump flea dodged her grasp.  


“Don’t you know medicine cats don’t have kits?” hissed Yellowfang furiously.

"Of course, I am a medicine cat." Firepaw rolled her eyes “But I heard you were a warriors before." She clarified. 

“I have no kits!” Yellowfang spat. She snatched her tail away from her and sat up. "Anyway-" her voice suddenly lowered, and she sounded almost wistful—“accidents seem to happen to kits when I’m around them.”

Her orange eyes clouded with emotion. She laid her chin flat on her forepaws and stared ahead. Firepaw watched her shoulders sink as she released a long, silent sigh. Firepaw looked at her curiously. What could she mean? Was the old she-cat being serious? 

It was hard to tell; Yellowfang seemed to swing from mood to mood so quickly. She shrugged to herself and went on with the grooming. It wasn't any of her concern.

“There are a couple of ticks I couldn’t pull out,” she told her when she had finished. 

“I should hope you didn’t even try, you idiot!” snapped Yellowfang. “I don’t want any tick heads. embedded in my rear, thank you very much. Go get a little mouse bile to rub on them. A splash of that in their breathing holes and they’ll soon loosen their grip.”

Firepaw groaned through her teeth “I’ll get some now.” she called as she padded away. She was glad of a chance to get away from the grumpy cat for a while, but why did it have to be for mousebile? She shuddered as she walked toward the fern tunnel. Cats crossed the clearing around her, carrying sticks and twigs in their teeth.

While she had been grooming Yellowfang, the camp had grown active. It had been like this every day since Bluestar had announced WindClan’s disappearance. 

The queens were weaving twigs and leaves into a dense green wall around the sides of the nursery, making sure that the narrow entrance was the only way in and out of the bramble patch. Other cats were working at the edges of the camp, filling in any spaces in the thick undergrowth.

Even the elders were busy, scraping out a hole in the ground. Warriors filed steadily past, piling pieces of fresh-kill beside them, ready to be stored inside the newly dug hole. There was an air of quiet concentration, a determination to make the Clan as secure and well supplied as possible. If ShadowClan made a move on their territory, ThunderClan would shelter inside the camp.

They would not let themselves be driven from their hunting grounds as easily as WindClan had been.  
Darkstripe, Longtail, Willowpelt, and Dustpaw were waiting silently at the camp entrance. Their eyes  
were fixed on the opening to the gorse tunnel.

A patrol was just returning, dusty and paw-sore. As soon as the warriors entered the camp, Darkstripe and his companions approached and exchanged words with them. Then they slipped quickly out of the camp. ThunderClan’s borders were not being left unguarded for a moment.

Firepaw headed down the fern tunnel that led to Spottedleaf and her den. As she entered the clearing, she could see Spottedleaf was preparing some sweet-smelling herbs, Lavender and Rosemary. Firepaw stiffened, death herbs. “Can I have some mouse bile for Yellowfang’s ticks?” She mewed as she came up to her mentor.

“You know where it is Firepaw, fetch some if you need it." replied Spottedleaf, pawing two piles of herbs together and mixing the fragrant heap with one delicately extended claw. 

“Busy?” Firepaw asked, settling down to gather a stick and moss for the mousebile.

“I want us to be prepared for any casualties,” Spottedleaf murmured, glancing up at her with grim amber eyes. Firepaw met her gaze for a moment, then looked away, an uncomfortable feeling prickling her fur at the thought. 

Spottedleaf turned her attention back to the herbs. Firepaw quietly gathered her mousebile and began to leave. "Be prepared to train when you return from treating ticks." Spottedleaf called.

Firepaw carefully carried her stick to Yellowfangs nest, weary of getting any of it on her tongue. Spottedleaf had laughed at her for days the first and last time she made that mistake. 

All to soon, she was back with Yellowfang. “Hold still!” she ordered the old she-cat. She was carefully using her forepaws to press the moss onto each tick. “You may as well clear away my dirt now while your paws are already foul!” the ragged she-cat snorted meowed when she had finished.

“I’m going to take a nap.” She yawned, revealing her blackened and broken teeth. The warmth of the day was making her sleepy, too. “Then you can go and do whatever it is you apprentices do,” she murmured.

When Firepaw had cleared away Yellowfang’s dirt, she left her dozing and made her way to the gorse tunnel. She was keen to get to the stream and rinse her paws. “Firepaw!” a voice called from the side of the clearing. Firepaw turned quickly, coming to face Halftail.

“Where are you off to?” meowed the old cat curiously. “You ought to be helping with the preparations.”

“I’ve just been putting mouse bile on Yellowfang’s ticks,” replied Firepaw. Amusement flickered through Halftail’s whiskers. “So now you’re off to the nearest stream! Well, good luck. That scent never comes off easy, try using some garlic on it then rinsing it in the stream."

Wrinkling her nose, she dipped her head “Thanks Halftail,” Firepaw replied. She made her way out of the camp and up the side of the ravine with a bit of a hassle. 

Her new claws helped her some but it was still a struggle every time she wished to leave the camp. She trotted down to the stream where she had been watching her vole and where Graypaw had hunted on the day she had found Yellowfang.

Without hesitating she jumped down into the cold, clear water. It came up to cover her hind end, and wet her shoulders. The shock made her gasp, and she shivered. A rustle in the bushes above her made her look up, although the familiar scent that reached her nose told her there was nothing to be alarmed about.

“What are you doing in there?” Graypaw and Ravenpaw were standing on the stream shore, looking at her as if she were mad. 

“Mouse bile.” Firepaw grimaced. “Don’t ask! Where are Lionheart and Tigerclaw?”

Firepaw listened as they explained they needed to hunt before begrudgingly bidding them goodbye. 

She was useless at hunting and would slow them down, best to leave it to them and fighting to her. _'Or healing.'_ she groaned mentally as she ran into Spottedleaf.

"Firepaw, there you are!" The she-cat mewed, "I've been looking all over for you." Firepaw cringed as the molly swept her tail out "C'mon!" Her eyes twinkled playfully "We've got herbs to gather."

Despite herself, Firepaw felt happiness bloom under her pelt. It had felt like moons since she had last gotten to spend time with Spottedleaf. So it was only with a little hesitation that she plunged into the undergrowth after her mentor with a squeal.

"Wait up!"


	7. Chapter 7

By the time the medicine cats made it back to camp, Firepaws head was buzzing with new names and uses. Her jaws were crammed full of watermint, dandielion, and daisy, so unlike her clanmates, she couldn’t congratulate her friends on their great prey load.

The other apprentices were proudly carrying their catch to the prey pile, their heads held high. Firepaw looked to Spottedleaf pleadingly, lighting up when the she-cat rolled her eyes and nodded with a smile.

Carefully setting down her herbs, she raced off to congratulate her friends. Firepaw could tell that the cats back at camp were impressed with the amount of prey the three apprentices had managed to catch during their afternoon hunt.

They were welcomed back with high tails and friendly nuzzles. It took them four journeys to carry their catch to the storage hole the elders had dug. Firepaw politely waited to the side, a part of her burning with an emotion she couldn’t quite identify as she noticed the three laughing and chatting, not sparing a glance back to her.

Lionheart and Longtail had just returned with their patrol as Dustpaw, Graypaw, and Ravenpaw carried their last load into the camp. “Well done, you three,” meowed Lionheart. “I hear you’ve been busy. The store is almost full. You might as well add that last lot to the pile of fresh-kill for tonight. And take some of it back to your den with you. You deserve a feast!”

The three apprentices flicked their tails with delight. They began to race toward her. Firepaw stood, ready to greet them and share the days events but they didn’t stop. They simply passed her, taking a piece from the prey pile as they went.

Feeling her ears droop, she turned her head away and locked her eyes to the ground. She only rose them again when she noticed a shadow infront of her and met the stern eyes of Lionheart.

“I hope you’ve not been neglecting Yellowfang with your duties, Firepaw,” He grunted warningly. Firepaw shook her head impatiently, eager to get away. Her feelings were hurt and she was starving. She had not eaten a morsel while she was learning and gathering herbs for the _ungrateful_ Clan.

She hissed a reply and trotted away toward the fresh-kill that already lay at the center of the clearing. Then she took a piece and carried it back to their usual tree stump. The den was had only Dustpaw in it, curled up after a long hunt.

She sat a little ways away, hoping Graypaw come closer but he was too absorbed in his and Ravenpaws conversation.

“Where are Tigerclaw and Darkstripe?” asked Ravenpaw nervously. He was twitching, glancing over his shoulder every once and a while. Graypaw stiffened at the names, swiveling his heads around as well.

Firepaw bit into her thrush “Still on patrol.” She spat, glaring at the ground. The pair nearly jumped out of their fur, whipping around to stare at her with raised hackles. Once they saw it was only her though, they relaxed slightly.

“Good,” meowed Graypaw. “Peace and quiet.” They ate their fill and lay back to wash. The cool evening air was welcome after the heat of the day. “Hey! Guess what!” mewed Graypaw suddenly. “Ravenpaw managed to squeeze a compliment out of old Tigerclaw this morning!”

“I caught a crow” Ravenpaw mewed shyly, looking at his paws. He gently scrapped the feathers off his jay bird as he spoke, setting them aside to put in his nest later.

“How’d you manage that?” Firepaw mewed, grudgingly impressed. Her claws twitched some as she watched the tom raise his head slightly with a proud tilt though he didn’t boast.

”It was an old one,” he admitted modestly. 

Unwilling to let such a task be glanced over, Graypaw butted in “But it was huge,” he added “Even Tigerclaw couldn’t find fault with that! He’s been in such a bad mood since Redtails death.”

He licked his paw thoughtfully for a moment. “Hang on, make that since Lionheart was made deputy.” He ruffled his pelt anxiously, Studying Firepaws face with that same look she had noticed earlier. Suspicion.

“He’s just worried about ShadowClan, and the extra patrols,” Ravenpaw interjected, hastily. “You should try not to annoy him.” Firepaw narrowed her eyes, ready to rebuke him for talking of her friend but their conversation was interrupted by a loud yowl from the other side of the clearing.

“Oh, no.” Firepaw groaned, getting to her paws. “I forgot to take Yellowfang her share!” She could see Lionheart across the camp, a newly arrived Darkstripe at his side. Both toms had raised their heads at the yowl.

“You wait here,” mewed Graypaw, leaping up. “I’ll take her something.” He licked her ear reassuringly. Firepaws furrowed her brow when she noticed something like guilt lurking in his expression before he started to turn.

“No, I’d better go,” Firepaw protested. “This is my task, not yours.” She could already imagine the scolding if any cat thought she was slacking. They always seemed to try to find some excuse to snap at her.

“No one will notice,” argued Graypaw. “They’re all busy eating. You know me: quiet as a mouse, quick as a fish. Wait here.” Shrugging, Firepaw sat down again, unwilling to argue to go feed the flea-bag. She watched her friend trot away from the tree stump to the pile of fresh-kill.

As if he were carrying out orders, Graypaw confidently picked out two of the juiciest-looking mice. Quickly, he began to pad across the clearing toward Yellowfang.

“What are you doing, Graypaw!?” A loud growl rumbled from the entrance to the warriors’ den. Darkstripe strode out and marched over to Graypaw. “Where are you taking those mice?” he demanded.

With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Firepaw watched, helpless, from the tree stump. Beside her, Ravenpaw froze midchew and crouched over his meal with his eyes wider than ever. Watching the pair, Firepaw could see behind them that Tigerclaw was staring at her, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Umm...” Graypaw dropped the mice and shuffled his paws uncomfortably. Darkstripe smirked smugly, leaning down to roll a mouse a bit as he locked eyes with the young apprentice.

“Not helping young Firepaw by feeding that greedy prisoner over there, are you?” He asked sweetly. Firepaw watched Graypaw study his paws for a moment.

Finally he replied, “I, er, I was just feeling hungry. I was going to take them off and eat them by myself. If I let that pair get a look in”—he glanced at Firepaw and Ravenpaw—“they’ll leave me with nothing but bones and fur.”

“Oh, really?” mewed Darkstripe. “Well, if you’re so hungry, you might as well eat them here and now!” He shoved the two mice closer .

“But—” Graypaw began, looking up at the senior warrior in alarm. “Now!” growled Darkstripe, baring his teeth.

Graypaw bent his head quickly and began to eat the mice. He demolished the first one in a couple of bites and swallowed it quickly. The second mouse took longer for him to eat. Firepaw thought he’d never manage to swallow it, and her own stomach clenched in sympathy, but eventually Graypaw gave a final, difficult gulp and the last bit of mouse disappeared.

Darkstripe narrowed his eyes, a growl rolling in his chest when he realized he had nothing to get the two in trouble for. Without a word, he whipped around and stalked away.

Graypaw slunk uncomfortably back to Firepaw and Ravenpaw. “Thanks, Graypaw,” Firepaw mewed gratefully, nudging her friend’s soft fur. “That was quick thinking.”

The noise of Yellowfang’s yowl rose into the air once more. Firepaw sighed and got to her paws. She would make sure she took her enough to see her through the night. She wanted to turn in early. Her stomach was full and her paws were tired.

“Are you okay, Graypaw?” She asked as she turned to leave. He was hunched into a low crouch, squinting with pain. 

“I’ve eaten too much!” He moaned.

“Go and see Spottedleaf.” Firepaw told him. “I’m sure a bit of yarrow will help.” She boosted his shoulder as he stood.

“I hope so,” mewed Graypaw, tottering slowly away. Firepaw wanted to watch him go, until another angry yowl from Yellowfang sent her sprinting across the clearing.

~

By the following morning, a thin drizzle soaked the treetops and dripped down into the camp. Firepaw woke up feeling damp. It had been an uncomfortable night. She had spent her dream fighting viciously with Tigerclaw but even from the forest, she could hear the pitter-patter of rain in the waking world.

She stood up and shook herself vigorously, fluffing out her fur. Then she quietly left the medicine den, trying not to wake Spottedleaf and trotted across the clearing to Yellowfang’s nest.

Yellowfang was just stirring. She lifted her head and squinted at Firepaw as she approached. “My bones ache this morning. Has it been raining all night?” She stretched stiffly.

“Since just after moonhigh,” Firepaw replied. She reached out and prodded her mossy nest cautiously. “Your bedding is soaking wet. Why don’t you move nearer to the nursery? It’s more sheltered there.”

The old mollys face twisted “What? And be kept awake all night by those mewling kits! I’d rather get wet!” Yellowfang growled. 

Firepaw watched her circle stiffly on her mossy bed. “Then i’m fetching you some dry bedding,” she mewed, keen to drop the subject of kits if it upset the old she-cat so much.

“Thank you, Firepaw,” replied Yellowfang quietly, settling down again. Firepaw felt stunned. She wondered if Yellowfang was feeling all right. It was the first time she had thanked her for anything, and the first time she had not called her kit.

“Well, don’t just stand there like a startled squirrel; go and fetch some moss!” she snapped. Firepaw’s whiskers twitched with amusement. This was more like the Yellowfang she was used to. She nodded and sprinted off.

She almost crashed into Speckletail in the middle of the clearing. This was the queen who had watched Yellowfang’s angry outburst at the kits the day before. The tabby snarled at her angrily, never having gotten over their borage dispute.

“Sorry, Speckletail,” Firepaw mewed politely. “Are you on your way to see Yellowfang?” 

Speckletail chuckled dryly “What would I want with that unnatural creature?” She spat crossly. “Actually it’s you I was looking for. Bluestar wants to see you.” She turned without another word and made her way to the nursery.

Firepaw grumbled but hurried toward the Highrock and Bluestar’s den. The old leader was sitting outside, her head bobbing rhythmically as she licked the gray fur below her throat. She paused when she noticed Firepaw. “How is Yellowfang today?” she meowed.

“Her bedding is wet, so I was going to fetch her more,” Firepaw replied.

The leader flicked an ear dismissvely “I’ll ask one of the queens to see to that.” Bluestar gave her chest another lick, and then eyed Firepaw carefully. “Is she fit enough to hunt for herself yet?” she asked.

“I don’t think so,” Firepaw meowed thinking of how the molly struggled to wash, “but she can walk well enough now.”

Bluestar nodded slowly “I see,” she meowed. She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Spottedleaf has brough up some concerns that seeing to Yellowfang may be slowing your training down. She’s insisted you return to focusing solely on it”

Despite her distaste toward her medicine cat training, she felt excitement thrum through her. All the free time to watch the prey animals!

She bounced on her paws “Great! I’ll let Spottedleaf know when she wakes up” She raced away before the she-cat could say anything more, heading towards Sandpaw and Graypaw who had Ravenpaw not too far from him.

Graypaw looked stiff and uncomfortable, his long fur clumped by the dampness of the air. Ravenpaw was pacing around the tree stump, lost in thought, the white tip of his tail twitching. Sandpaw on the other paw was twitching with repressed energy.

She bounded up once she saw her little sister padding toward them and pressed her muzzle down into her head. The little cats ears only brushed her chest now. Firepaw greeted her warmly “Good luck on your assessment Sandpaw!” She purred “You too Graypaw.” She nodded to the burly tom.

”Where’s Dustpaw?” She mewed after a moment, looking around for her foster brother. Her eyes caught Ravenpaws, who was looking at her with hurt at her lack of acknowledgement. She ignored him, looking for her _only_ brother.

It wasn’t like her wishing him luck would improve his skills anyway, he couldn’t even help their father fight the riverclan warrior that had killed him.

”He’s on patrol right now.” Sandpaw told her, “But I’ll tell him he has your best wishes.” Firepaw purred in thanks, rearing to lick her sisters cheek happily.

Tigerclaw, Lionheart, and Whitestorm quickly gathered the group, beginning to lead them into the forest. Firepaw went to turn back to camp, a bit dejected, when Tigerclaw laid a tail across her shoulders “Want to help me assess them?”

Firepaw lifted her tail happily “Of course!” She trilled

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By sunhigh, Firepaw regretted it, her paws ached horribly and watching the others tumble over themselves as they tried to hunt had long since lost its amusement

”Intruder.” Tigerclaw mewed suddenly, he raised from their crouched position in a bush beside Twolegplace where Sandpaw was hunting. His ears were pricked and his eyes were narrowed sharply as he quickly stalked away from Firepaw.

She hurried to keep up, stumbling as her claws caught a root. By the time she had yanked them free, Tigerclaw had vanished up ahead. Firepaw growled in annoyance as she stalked along the territory, swinging her head wearily.

Ahead Firepaw could smell Twolegs and hear their voices, loud and raucous like crows. It was a group of young Twolegs, playing in the woods.

Firepaw crouched and peered ahead through the ferns. The sounds were distant enough to be safe. She changed direction, skirting the noises, making sure she was not seen.

Firepaw stayed alert and watchful, but not just for Twolegs—The intruder might be somewhere nearby. She thought she heard a twig snap in the bushes behind her. She sniffed the air, but smelled nothing new. Was she being watched now?

Out of the corner of her eye, Firepaw sensed movement. At first she thought it was Tigerclaw’s dark brown fur, but then she saw a flash of white. She stopped, crouched, and inhaled deeply. The smell was unfamiliar; it was a cat, but not a ThunderClan cat.

Firepaw felt her fur bristle with the instincts of a warrior. She would have to get the intruder out of ThunderClan territory! Arching her back and moving paw by paw as to keep silent, Firepaw watched the creature moving through the undergrowth.

She could see its outline clearly as it skittered between the ferns. Firepaw waited for it to wander nearer. She crouched lower, her tail waving back and forth in slow rhythm.

As the black-and-white cat neared, Firepaw smoothed her hackles and stalked out from her cover “What are you doing on Thunderclan clan territory?!” She growled out, glaring at him sharply.

For a moment, the tom looked at her with deep worry “Are you lost little one? Do you need help to your mother? If you know which housefolk she lives with, I’ll help you to find her!” He chirped happily.

Irritation climbed her pelt as Firepaw let out a disgusted huff but didn’t reply. She simply bared her teeth, showing off the horridly long front fangs to the blundering Kittypet.

The black-and-white cat jumped into the air, terrified, and raced away through the trees. Firepaw gave chase. She raced through the undergrowth, smelling its fear-scent.

She was rapidly losing ground on the fleeing tom. But then he slowed his headlong rush, preparing to scramble up the wide, mossy trunk of a fallen tree. With the blood roaring in her ears, Firepaw leaped onto his back in a single bound.

Firepaw could feel the cat struggling beneath her as she gripped on with all her reinforced claws, tearing deep into sensitive flesh. He let out a desperate and terrified yowl. Firepaw released her grip and backed away, preparing for a battle but the black-and-white cat only cringed at the foot of the fallen tree, trembling, and looked up at her.

Firepaw lifted her nose, feeling a ripple of disgust at the intruder’s easy surrender. This soft, plump house cat, with its round eyes and narrow face was nothing like the mighty warriors that prowled the forest floor.

 _’Finish him.’_ Softsteps words echoed in her head harshly but she ignored them. Disgusting and disgraceful as the tom may be, he was no threat. No even to a cat as weak and small as herself

”Now, what are-!” She had scarcely begun to speak when the tom tried to dart away, aiming to climb over a low root. Hissing, Firepaw lashed out, missing him by a whisker. 

The tom scrambled away with Firepaw hot on his tail. She quickly followed him to one of the wooden walls that bordered twolegplace, her anger clouding her judgement as she yowled threats. Growling in frustration as the wall rose up infront of her, she quickly found a hole and shoved her way through, barreling after the fleeing tom once more. 

Hardly paying a glance toward the horrified kittypets surrounding them, she charged after the tom as he plunged into a Twoleg nest _’I won’t let you escape!’_ what a mockery she’d be, to not even be able to defeat a kittypet!

How horrible a mistake she’d just made only became clear when she finally caught the tom. Just as she latched onto his wide back once more, a furless paw snatched her up roughly by her scruff. 

Terror shot through Firepaw and she let out a loud screech as she was lifted to be face to face with a howling Twoleg. 

It snarled at her, baring blunt teeth that could easily bite her leg in half. Pressing her ears down flat, Firepaw hissed violently, slashing the Twoleg across its face in fear-driven rage. Blood spurted out as her reinforced claws tore apart sensitivitie flesh and a large gash from the side of its face to over its nose opened up. 

The wind was knocked from her lungs as it threw her into away with a yowl of pain. She gasped heavily, trying desperately to drag air into her body. She kept an eye on the Twoleg as she shakily stood and darted beneath a soft structure. 

It was spinning in circles, jumping up and down with its paws pressed against the wound. Cries and whimpers of pain poured out of its bloodied mouth before it took off, opening the entrance of the nest and darting out with a final screech. 

Firepaw breathed a sigh of relief before realizing her situation. She was in a Twoleg den, had no idea how to get out, and had attacked the only two occupants who could show her out. 

Foxdung. 

”Um, hey.” She crept from under the structure, awkwardly waving her tail toward the black and white tom who was pressed up against the wall, his fur bushed as he stared at her with terror. 

Large wounds laced his back and shoulders but he paid no mind to them as they lazily dripped blood. Much like a forest cat, he kept alert despite the pain and never too his eyes off her, waiting for her next attack silently. 

She shuffled her paws sheepishly, noting with a wince that they were coated in the tom and Twolegs blood “Do you think you can help me get out of here?” Asking the disgusting kittypet for help felt about as painful as eating brambles but she needed out before the Twoleg returned for vengeance. 

“Help you?!” The kittypet looked enraged “You attacked me, you attacked my Twoleg! I’m not helping you with anything!” As angry as he was, he was not foolish enough to attack. This tiny wisp of a cat had obviously been trained to fight, perhaps even to _kill_ and had already proven herself too much of match for him. 

”You were on my territory. It’s our code to attack trespassers.” Firepaw droned. Honestly she didn’t feel an ounce of pity for the bloody tom. She was rather annoyed with him actually. “You can’t wander into a foxes den then get mad it ate you.” 

The plump tom snarled angrily “Well now you’ve wandered into a Housefolks den and you can’t be mad when they throw you in the river!” He hissed.

Fury lifted Firepaws fur at the toms refusal. She opened her mouth ready to snap back at him when a throat cleared. Swinging her head around, she found Softstep glaring down at her, her ear flicking toward the den wall the Twoleg have vanished into. 

In a heartbeat, Firepaw understood. That was to the outside. But if the Twoleg went out that wall, it’ll come back in through it. ”Are you sure? It might attack me again.” She pointed this out to Softstep, who only snorted lightly. 

”Then you fight it.” She hissed lowly, rolling her eyes as if it was obvious. 

The tom had back away some, his eyes flicking from her to the wall wearily as she made her way to wait beside it “Who are you talking to?” He asked, taking a few steps away from the unstable molly. 

”A friend!” Firepaw grunted, scrabbling as she climbed onto a branch beside the wall the Twoleg had disappeared through. “She wants to help me, unlike you.” The jab was uncalled for but frankly, Firepaw didn’t care. 

Suddenly, understanding dawned on the Kittypets face and he wasn’t looking at her with rage or fear anymore. Only pity. “Of course.” He whispered lightly, coming to stand beneath Firepaws branch. He felt a twinge of guilt at his earlier words. 

”Listen, do you uh, have anyone who is gonna live with you?” He asked lightly “Or some housefolk i can take you too for help?” The poor kit was obviously not well in the mind if she was seeing and talking to nonexistent cats. No wonder she had attacked him, she was crazy! She probably thought _he_ was on her territory to attack _her_! 

Firepaw snorted in disgust “I live with the clans!” She growled, her tail flicking angrily as she locked her eyes on the wall expectantly “I’d never have _housefolk_.” She spat the word like a curse. 

The tom reeled back in surprise “Oh.” He gasped, thinking quickly “Well, um, if i help you outta here, will you promise to not attack me again?” He twitched his bleeding shoulders with a wince, looking up at her with a hint of fear. A crazy cat was unpredictable and as much as he helped the fading elders, their outburst were much different than an unstable, trained, young cats outbursts. 

Satisfaction rolled deep in Firepaws belly at the look on his face but unfortunately, she needed the toms help. “Fine.” She hissed, jumping down from the branch.

The tom skittered away from her as she landed, coughing to hide his nervousness. He beckon her with his tail, leading her through the den to the flap she had first come through. 

”Just go through here and over the fence. You’ll be back in the woods after.” He paused, hesitating, then bared his teeth in a wobbly, unconvincing snarl “A-and don’t come back!” 

Firepaw smirked at his pathetic stutters. Flicking her ear in farewell, she hissed one more warning “And you stay out of Thunderclan territory!” Before scrabbling her way out of the flap and into the garden. 

Softstep was waiting on her, her lip peeled back in thinly veiled disgust “You had that kittypet!” She growled lowly, her shadows flowing around Firepaw as the tiny molly weaved around bushes, looking for the hole she’d come in through.

”Yes, right up until his twoleg tried to kill me!” She snorted, nosing at the wood. Her head perked up some, picking up Tigerclaws deep voice booming from the other side as he called out for her.

Softstep tried to cuffed her ear harshly but her unsheathed claws passed straight through Firepaw, who smirked at her stunned look. “I haven’t been training with you for a while, you’re losing your grip.” She taunted lightly, shoving herself under the wooden border. 

The tabby growled from the other side, passing through the fence to glare down at her infuriating apprentice “I suppose we’ll have to fix that then, won’t we?” A sickly sweet smile plastered itself onto her muzzle. A torrent of disgust ran over Firepaws form at the gesture. Her mentor looked almost... 

_Desperate._

Shaking the thought away, Firepaw lifted her paw and began to lap the blood of both Twoleg and cat away, looking over the molly thoughtfully. Without her as a connection to the living world, Softstep was fading from her sight, the bushes and wooden walls clear to see even with her shadows clinging to her light tabby form. 

She could train with her tonight. Reform that connection that allowed Softstep to train her during the day as well and deal with the molly popping up at the worst time and giving the worst advice. 

Or, she tipped her head in consideration as Tigerclaws voice boomed, she could just keep training with Mapleshade. She knew that unsheathing your claws wasn’t the only way to solve problems unlike her dark forest clanmate and Firepaw recognized the value in that skill. 

She could sever her bond with Softstep and never have to deal with her constant badgering again. 

However, She taught Firepaw moves that many times Tigerclaw had said were too advanced. Which unfortunately meant the molly was still useful to her. So with a bit of reluctance, she dipped her head to her mentor “I suppose we will.”

It was slight. So fast that if Firepaw had blinked, she’d have missed it, but she didn’t and was able to see clearly as Softsteps shoulders dropped an almost nonexistent amount in relief. She smirked, standing to pad away from the dead cat and meet up with her living friend. 

Though neither of them mentioned it, it was obvious to them both that the power in their relationship had shifted. A fact that brought a smile to Firepaws face. She knew, without a doubt, the shift was in her favor. 

Tigerclaw wasn’t far from the wooden borders, pacing around roots and trees and calling out for her. Her heart swelled with warmth as she listened to his voice. To a passing cat, it would seem as if he was simply annoyed. 

But Firepaw was not a passing cat. She could see the slightly pricked fur along his back, the little hitch in his stride, and hear the undertone of anxiousness in his increasingly loud calls. He was worried about her.

”I’m right here!” She called, hopping over a arching oak root to stand behind him. 

The tom jumped some, the whipped around, glowering down at her with fury masked fear “Where have you been? That intruder could be anywhere but I’m having to go on a search for you instead of him!” The warriors voice caught some “What if he had found you?”

Firepaw rolled her eyes playfully, slinging a paw and splashing him with a few droplets of blood. “He did,” she grinned proudly “and i chased him out with a few scratches to remember me by!” She lifted her head and tail, unable to hide her excitement as she watched him process what she’d said.

Her tail drooped some as she watched anger sear itself across his face “Are you insane?!” He yowled, whipping his thick tail around agitatedly “You’re nowhere near ready to fight alone, you could’ve been killed!” 

Hissing, Firepaw bit her tongue on her more barbed words. Tigerclaw was much like her, better at spitting insults than taking them. “You’re wrong.” She insisted calmly “I fought that blundering Kittypet and _won_! I’m ready to fight, I’ve always been ready, it’s you who’s not ready for me to fight!”

Tigerclaw took a breath, trying to calm himself but he was unable to “You don’t understand Firepaw!” He growled, pacing their small clearing “If that had been an enemy warrior, someone with training, you would’ve been at their mercy.” 

”Bu-!” Firepaw objected 

”And then what?! I would’ve never found you in time, you would’ve bled out! You have to stop charging headfirst into every fight you can!” Tigerclaws eyes shone with stern concern and a steely resolve “I know you think you do these things alone but you just can’t, you’re too _weak_!” 

They both froze at his words. Time slowed for Firepaw and she could hear her heart in her ears, beating heavily in time with her pants of shock. Her eyes welled some but she fought it away. Real warriors didn’t let their emotions rule them. 

”Firepaw I-“ Tigerclaw started, his ears flicking uncomfortably as he realized how bad he’d hurt the tiny apprentices feelings. He just needed her to understand! She was shaping to be a fine ally, having her killed because of arrogance would be such a waste. 

_‘And...’_ a tiny part of his mind whispered. He shoved it away, focusing on trying to get his tongue to work. This was no time to deal with the issue of him getting a tiny bit attached to his training partner. 

”Save it!” Firepaw snapped harshly at her ‘friend’ “I thought you were different. I thought you thought _I_ was different!” A sob caught on the edge of her tongue as she backed away from him. 

”You see me just like they do.” She whispered. 

Tigerclaw lunged for her scruff as she charged out of the clearing but wasn’t fast enough. Mumbling a curse, he sprinted after her, unwilling to let her run into another kittypet. The next one may be far less kind.

It took him a long while to find her in the dense undergrowth. The tiny molly could dip and weave into grooves he couldn’t dream of fitting his shoulders into. His worst fear was that she’d shoved herself into a rabbit hole. He’d mever find her then.

Luckily, she hadn’t. He found her crouched beneath a fallen tree, her tail between her legs and a pout on her face. Irritation climbed like ants beneath his pelt. 

He quickly began to trot through the undergrowth, growling all the while “What did I just finish telling you? Why would you just run off again?!” He stopped short as she looked up at him, a dull sadness in her eyes. 

Her tiny body trembled in the warm air, from strain or emotion was anyones guess but it caught Tigerclaws eye. His earlier anger swept away, a recognition coming over him in its place. He’d seen something so similar once, staring up at him from a rippling puddle many, many moons ago. 

_A tiny brown paw desperately reaching forward, only to be shoved away by a much bigger gray lump. Milk. He needed milk! A silent mew of despair tore from his throat as he tried with all his might to get to it. The gray lumps didn’t even twitch._

_Trembling in the cold. A tentative step forward. His stick thin limbs shook violently then gave out. Crumbling to the ground, he wailed pitifully for his mother._

Tigerclaw hissed, yanking his thoughts away from his first few memories, shaking them from his head. He panted heavily, staring down at his little training partner with a shocked epiphany. 

She was him. 

He remembered the weakness that had plagued his first few moons. The trembling that threatened every step he took, the laughs of older cats as he was shoved aside by his littermates, The murmured condolences his dear mother received for his soon-to-be departure. It was a weakness this tiny cat dealt with everyday. 

Unlike her, however, he’d grown strong. His sisters had withered and weakened, taking his journey to the stars for him as he thrived on the food they’d left behind. 

His training had been brutal, but so worth it. A fact that proved itself over and over in his stories and even in the prominent muscles that had rippled beneath his fur for seasons since his apprenticeship had ended. 

He remembered, with a glow of warmth, how the call of approval had tasted at his warrior ceremony. Oh, how wonderful it had felt to prove them wrong, to feel their awe at him.

It was a feeling he would ensure all his clanmates experienced. They were soft now but under his leadership, they would rise as he had. They too would feel the respect, admiration, and fear he did from the other, lower, clans in the forest. It was all he wanted for them. 

For now though, it was all he wanted for the sad, tiny, molly in front of him. Firepaw had much spirit but she needed more than that, she needed strength to win battles. As important as cunningness is, it simply wouldn’t win every battle. 

Tigerclaw knew without a doubt that some day, Firepaw would cross paths with an enemy as smart as herself. On that day, she would be truly helpless. 

Sighing, he shoved himself into the crevice next to her and wrapped his long tail around her small body. “I’m sorry.” He choked on the unfamiliar words a bit but he knew she deserved them far more than he hated saying them. 

Firepaw stared hard at the ground, her nose twitching as his fluffy fur brushed it. “Do you really think I’m weak?” Her eyes burned harshly as she muffled the hurt she felt. 

She heard Tigerclaw huff some, searching for words. “Firepaw, you know I think very highly of you but you’re just too...” he trailed off some. 

“Small.” 

She flattened her ears down, her heart cracking in half at his words. She’d worked so hard to make up for her smallness. A sob tried to burst from her throat and a fierce sadness ripped at her, tearing her pelt to shreds from the inside. Its sharp claws left behind raw wounds that ached, pulsing out one lone question. 

Why wasn’t she ever good enough? 

Panicking at the unfamiliar emotion, she shoved it away and drew up a tired, weak rage. Anger was good, she knew how to handle it well. She knows she’s too small, he didn’t need to rub it in. 

”I know. I know I’m small and weak and pathetic.” She growled “But I’ve been trying really hard! Softstep says I’m getting better, she told me I could fight a Twoleg!” She paddled her paws into his side restlessly, desperately trying to make him understand, to make him take it back. 

Tigerclaw scoffed “Softstep is an old fool who’d sooner feed your ego than actually teach you. That’s why Mapleshade took over.” His claws dug into the soft bark of a branch next to him. “You need to learn control, you need to pick which battles you fight. Some enemies aren’t worth facing.” 

”Easy for you to say.” Firepaw grumbled. Giving up, she rested her head on his paw sadly, looking up at him with envy “You can fight anyone you want, you’re stronger the any other clan cat!” 

She let out a tired sigh “No one picks on you. You don’t have to be mean to everyone so they’ll leave you alone.” Her ears pressed tight against her head once more. 

A stab of empathy went straight through Tigerclaws chest. So that was why she was snappier than a hungry elder with wet bedding. She just didn’t want their clanmates to step all over her. 

”They used to, Y’know.” His soft words surprised them both but he continued anyway “I was the weakest out of my litter, everyone was so sure I’d die and even after I didn’t they still treated me as a burden because of..” 

He paused, bile rising in his throat at the thought of his father. It had been seasons since he last thought of that coward. 

Firepaw was watching him expectantly, a dash of desperation lurking in her eyes. She wanted companionship in her struggles and they both knew he could provide it. 

Starclan, prehaps he wanted a companion too. “My father was a former leader named Pinestar.” He started, spitting the name like a curse. It was, technically, no kit in Thunderclan would ever be named after the great trees again. It was considered bad luck.

”A leader?!” Firepaws eyes stretched wide with admiration and Tigerclaw choked on bitter anger. By the end, she would no doubt be as disgusted as all his old clanmates had been. 

”Yes.” Tigerclaw murmured, settling down and resting his head next to hers on his paws “When my litter was born, we were all so weak that everyone thought we would die. Prehaps that’s why he did what he did. He didn’t think there’d be anyone to miss him in a moon or two.” 

Firepaws ear flicked “What did he do?” She ventured cautiously. She loved Tigerclaw but he was as closed off as a clam. Any questions she had could send him back to being his usual aloof self. 

She saw his throat bob in a swallow “He left. Like a coward, he left his family and clan to be a _Kittypet_.” He spat the word with a vile poison. “He didn’t care that the clan was being left with Riverclan snapping at our border or that Leafbare was coming, or that his own kits would suffer for his choice!” 

Firepaws caught his claws leaving little grooves in the earth “My sisters died without ever having gaining honor and respect, remembered as nothing more than kittypet kits.” 

Grief shone through painfully clear in his twisted face “And I was left at the mercy of a clan who saw me as him. They thought I was weak. They thought I would leave too. They thought a lot of things but I proved them wrong.” His eyes brightened “Maybe someday I’ll be leader and I can help you prove them wrong too.” 

The two settled into their usual silence for a short while. Just as she had with Softstep, Firepaw could feel her relationship with Tigerclaw had shifted, becoming less of a partnership and more of...She paused, beaming. 

They had a real friendship now. 

”Your clanmates were really dumb.” She whispered finally, settling against his warm side with a yawn. Her short burst of rage had drained her horribly. Slowly, her eyes began to droop closed. 

He snorted good-naturedly ”So are yours.“ he nipped at her ear playfully, “Let’s rest for a bit.” 

”But our duties? I have training and you have the assessment reports. They’ll get mad.” She warned. He curled around her, yawning loudly. Briefly, he considered ignoring her comment in favor of a short nap but decided against it. 

Lapping at her head, he tried to soothe her worries “Let them be impatient, we’ve had a long day.” He rested his head back on his paws, content to stay in their crevice for a little while longer before he absolutely had to go back to camp and report to Bluestar. 

”Tigerclaw?” 

He cracked an eye open, looking at her with a hint of annoyance “Hmm?” He grunted out half-heartedly. 

”I never told Spottedleaf where I was going.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter is dark af.

Tigerclaw was the first of them to awaken. His dream had been rather strange. A rabbit had been thumping him in the side harshly, its claws and teeth digging into him. One of its claws had struck far to painfully to be a dream and it jolted him awake. 

He blinked his amber eyes open in irritation, turning his head around groggily to find what had disturbed him from his much needed nap. Luckily it wasn’t a large, vengeful, rabbit.

He felt himself soften slightly when he realized it was Firepaw. The tiny molly was deep asleep at his side but much to Tigerclaws pity, she was attempting to suckle from him. 

Her little paws paddled his side restlessly, prickling his skin with her claws. He couldn’t feel her mouth but it was buried in his fur and her chin was working in the instinctive motion of nursing. A loud purr throbbed from her chest.

A swell of heartache rose in him. It was a problem some kittypets and loners had, or so he’d heard from Windclan. 

When a kit was separated from their mother or if they suffered too much anxiety and loneliness, they would develop a tendency to nurse on things that reminded them of their mothers, moss, sticks, leaves, even other cats. It just reminded them of s safer, happier, time. 

Gently, to save her from embarrassment, he nudged her face from his fur and guided her to rest beside him once more. She twitched unhappily, squirming around some before settling with a grunt, nestled underneath one of his paws.

With that taken care of, he glanced out of their small den and groaned. “Spottedleaf is going to line her nest with my pelt.” he muttered. The sun had sank to low dusk, painting the forest a pretty orange. 

Briefly he considered just going back to sleep. It was dusk, they were both exhausted and a trek back to camp would be about as pleasant as eating Foxdung. With another, louder, groan, he remembered he was attending the gathering tonight. 

Debating on what to do, he crawled from under the tree. Sighing, he turned and picked Firepaw up by her scruff. She needed the rest more than he did. She’d apparently been fighting off trespassers all day and every step he took was two for her. 

As light as the snoring apprentice was, it was still a long walk back to camp that left Tigerclaws neck muscles aching. He grumbled angrily as hopped down the ravine, his head bobbing with every landing. 

He didn’t push into camp immediately. No, he wasn’t dumb. He instead crouched in the gorse tunnel, peeking into the clearing wearily. “Oh Foxdung.” He cursed as he saw a spitting mad Spottedleaf stalking back and forth in front of the medicine den. He had, of course, expected it but one can hope to be wrong every once in a while. 

Thinking quickly and finding no option of him walking into the warriors den with his pelt not being used to keep Spottedleaf warm in leafbare, he decided to sacrifice his friend. Spottedleaf liked her more anyway. “Firepaw.” He murmured, setting her down and shaking her lightly, “Wake up.” 

”Hmmph?” She muttered, stretching and yawning. “Where are we?” She swung her head around blearily, her blank face clearly showing Tigerclaw that she had no idea where she was. Perfect. 

He began nudging her out of the gorse tunnel, “We’re at camp, go on in.” He felt a pang of guilt as she sleepily stumbled into the camp clearing, blissfully unaware of Spottedleafs angry pacing. “May Starclan save you, my friend.“ He ducked back down to wait out the storm. 

“Huh?” Firepaw turned back to him, her head tipped in confusion. He could see the cobwebs clearing from her mind as she realized where she was. Her eyes widened briefly and she glared at him with the upmost look of betrayal a heartbeat before she was spotted. 

_**”FIREPAW!”**_ Spottedleaf roared, her tail lashing the air as she charged from her post. Firepaws tail shot out straight, puffing up in fear as her angry mentor bore down on her. 

”It wasn’t my fault, Tigerclaw told me to take a nap!” She squealed, dropping into submissive crouch and jabbing a paw in his direction without a hint of remorse. 

Tigerclaw hit the ground without a thought, trying to make himself as small as possible and hoping Spottedleaf may still choose Firepaw. 

No such luck. The tortieshell immediately changed course, hopping over Firepaw and charging toward the tunnel. She paused at it entrance, snarling at the pathetic ball this clan called a warrior. 

”Get out here!” She yowled, “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been? Graypaw told me you were _watching_ her, not stealing her for the whole day!” Her hackles raised, the fur along her back rising up to her neck until the tortieshell looked very similar to a hissy hedgehog. 

Despite the ridiculous image, Tigerclaw still stood quickly, trying to smooth his features over in the face of her wrath. _’I killed the wrong tortieshell!’_ He thought angrily. He already knew she would be angry. She didn’t need to berate him in front of the whole clan. 

“Now Spottedleaf,” he started calmly, “I understand we were out much later than we should have been but nothing bad happened. We’re fine, aren’t we, Firepaw?” 

He had half a moment to feel his heart stop when the tiny molly shot him a vindictive grin. _’Firepaw, whatever you’re about to do, please don’t do it!’_ he begged with his eyes but there was no mercy to be found in his small friends conniving face. 

Firepaw let out a little cry of pain “Spottedleaf, could you look at my back? I think it’s bruised badly.” She sniffled pitifully, “A kittypet attacked me by the Twoleg border when I was trying to help Tigerclaw assess Sandpaw. I tried to shake him off but I’m no good at fighting alone.“ 

_’Traitor!’_ Tigerclaw tried to play it off with a weak smile as Spottedleaf looked back at him with fury burning bright in her eyes. “I swear I thought she was right behind me.” 

”You went _AHEAD OF HER?!_ ” the medicine cat screeched. Tigerclaws ears flattened as he saw her gear up for another bout of yelling. Behind her, Firepaw sent him a smug smirk then sunk back into a painful grimace. 

”I’ll be in our den.” She trilled sadly, her head hanging low when Spottedleaf turned to look back at her. She pinned her ears flat to her head, gazing at them both with big, wet eyes, “I really thought I could go to the gathering this moon but I don’t think I could make it like this.” 

Tigerclaw felt a glimmer of reluctant respect. _’Oh, She’s good.’_ he thought as the tiny cat turned and began to walk toward the medicine den. She let her head hang and her tail drag the ground. To his dismay, the sneaky traitor was adding a little limp to her step.

Spottedleaf swung back around with a snarl, “Do you see what you’ve done now?” She slowly stalked toward him, nipping at his paws to force him into the camp, “I expect an apology for her by moonrise!” She reached out and cuffed him over the ear. 

Firepaw smiled widely as she listened to her mentor rip Tigerclaws pelt off. That’s what that big foxheart deserved! Trying to send her to take the wrath of Spottedleaf all by herself when he had been the one to suggest a nap! 

Peeking back out of the medicine den clearing, She let out a little giggle at the sight of Tigerclaw dashing into the warriors den with his ears flat and his tail tucked. Spottedleaf was hot on his trail, still spitting hatred. 

Slowly though, as she walked into her den, her smile died away. Lynxkit was stretched in a nest, the two legs on her right side held straight by sticks. The tiny tortieshells breath was wheezing and plain unnatural. Tentatively, Firepaw approached, looking for any symptoms of sickness. 

Lynxkit had no fever or cough, though every breath sounded as if it was a struggle. Her side was shaped weird, almost caved in. Feeling her chest clench, Firepaw ran her paw along the kits mid-section and shuddered in revulsion. Her ribs were not right. They had been snapped like twigs. 

With a sinking feeling in her gut, Firepaw pressed her ear to the kits side and instantly knew she was going to die. 

She could hear a strange bubbling in Lynxkits lungs. With no other signs of sickness and the broken ribs, she knew it was blood filling the kits lungs up and drowning her slowly. 

”Goldenflower rolled over her while they were sleeping.” Spottedleafs voice startled her. She whipped around, seeing the molly walking in with a huff. She sat and curled her tail around her paws, looking Lynxkit over with open dispair. 

Firepaws throat tightened “Isn’t there anything we can do?” She whispered, running her paw down the tiny kits back as she struggled with a wet cough. Firepaw could only flinch when she saw a thin mist of blood fly from her mouth. 

Spottedleaf came to sit beside her and let her little apprentice curl into her side, “No.” she said sadly, “She went into shock when her legs broke. That on its own is usually enough to kill a kit. I had hope until I heard her breathe and saw her side. Her ribs must have injured her like claws raking her insides. She’s bleeding and we have no way of stopping it.” 

”Is it painful?” Firepaw whispered, looking down as the kit wheezed and whimpered before her. 

Spottedleafs voice was grim “Yes. She wailed for a long while before it became too hard for her to breathe. At the most, She’ll be dead within a day or so, at the least, it’ll be before dawn.” She let out a sigh, “I’m sorry Firepaw but I’m going to have to ask you to watch her while I attend the gathering.” 

”But-!” Firepaw panicked, she had never cared for a patient alone before. Much less a terminal kit! Normal kits could be fine one moment then just fall over and die! This one would just die and she wouldn’t know what to do for it before or after. 

Spottedleaf let out a comforting trill as she pulled a few things from the herb store and made Firepaw face away from her. “I don’t expect you to cure her or anything, Firepaw. I don’t really expect anything from you with this. Just try to comfort her and fetch her some poppy seeds so she sleeps.” The tortieshell mumbled as she laid a little daisy in front of Firepaw and spread a paste of Cobnut over her bruised back. 

When Firepaw looked at her questioningly, she nudged the daisy closer. “It’ll give you a bit more energy. I know you’re scared but don’t worry too much. I’ll be back soon.” 

Firepaw didn’t respond as Spottedleaf touched her nose to her ear and left with a whispered goodbye. She wasn’t stupid. The calculating look in her mentors eyes was there as it always was. This was another test. What this was a test for, though? 

Stars if she knew. 

Whatever it was for, it was cruel. She was still petting Lynxkit, trying in vain to give the tiny kit some comfort on her journey from this world. None could be had though. The little kit was inconsolable, wiggling and whimpering in pain as her body slowly, slowly shut down and died. 

”Mama!” Lynxkit let out a low wail, twitching weakly. Firepaws heart shattered. Hesitately, she crept away from the kit, trying to ignore her pitiful wailing as she cleaned up the den. There wasn’t anything she could do for her. 

Long after the gathering patrol had left, Firepaw had curled up in her nest, trying to sleep. She couldn’t block out Lynxkits weak, bubbling cries anymore. They tugged at her heart, making her regret every mean thing she had said to the kit. Now she was suffering and her only company was a grouchy apprentice who had yelled at her. 

With a sigh, she stood and went to the herb store to try and fish out anything to put the kit to sleep for the night. It was the only thing she could offer. 

_’Lavender, Rosemary,’_ she quietly set those two aside to use later. _’Dasiy, Coltsfoot.’_ her paw froze as she rolled a new herb from the very back of the den storage. Her breath shortened the longer she stared at them. 

_’Deathberries.’_

A dark thought slithered into her mind and she glanced back at Lynxkit hesitantly. She was in pain and there was not hope of saving her. Spottedleaf had said Deathberries were meant for those types of patients. 

She shook her head. What was she thinking?! Shoving the berries away from her but not back into their store, she continued searching, horrified at herself. Yes, Lynxkit was going to die a slow, painful death and Firepaw had the ability to speed it up but.... 

”But she’s just a kit.” The argument sounded flimsy to her own ears. Her age wasn’t enough to justify letting her suffer. Lynxkit wasn’t going to pull through and really it was mercy, wasn’t it? Starclan wouldn’t be mad at her for helping the kit join them painlessly, would they? It was what medicine cats were supposed to do! 

With trembling paws, she rolled the bright red berries toward the little tortieshell who wheezed, her side working frantically to drag enough air into her flooding lungs. She looked through Firepaw. Her blueish eyes, so young, so new, were glazed with pain and fear. 

”Lynxkit?” Firepaw mumbled, nudging the kits head. Her voice caught slightly. “Listen little one, I have a herb that’ll make all the pain go away, okay? But you have to swallow it all.” 

Lynxkit let her nearly lifeless eyes slip to meet Firepaws, “Mama!” She wailed weakly, “I want Mama!” A low sob caught in her throat as red spittle foamed around her muzzle. 

Her amber eyes flickered around the den, trying to spot the soft molly who had cared for her for the entirety of her short life. Goldenflower always made everything alright, if she was here, the pain would _have_ to stop! Why hadn’t she come yet? She always came when Lynxkit cried for her! 

Firepaw felt horrible. Goldenflower was at the gathering, probably telling herself that Spottedleaf would find some way to fix this. Looking the kit over and listening to her ragged breath, Firepaw knew it was a very slim chance she would make it until the gathering patrol returned. 

”I know. I know.” She murmured soothingly, lapping at the tiny kits head, “But take these. You’ll go to sleep and when you wake up, your mama will be there and the pain will be gone.” She rolled a berry closer. 

Lynxkit looked up at her with trusting amber eyes and said something that almost broke Firepaw, “Promise?” She mewed hoarsly, reaching out her good forepaw to drag the berry to her opening maw. 

Firepaw swallowed hard, the urge to yank the berry away nearly overwhelming her. “I promise.” She whispered, helping Lynxkit roll over onto her belly. She could only wince at the loud crunches that emitted from the kits deformed mid-section. 

Seeing it up close helped to secure Firepaws determination. It was obvious the kit was going to die. One side of her abdomen was almost flat, with only one intact rib protruding from her soft pelt. There were odd bumps and lumps surrounding the area where the others were meant to be. 

”They mangled your insides.” She muttered too low for Lynxkit to hear. The kit wasn’t paying attention anyway. Her glazed eyes were locked on the den entrance, waiting for someone she’d never live long enough to see again. 

A wince pinched Firepaws face as a wet cough gripped the kit, forcing her weak body forward with its harsh force. Before she could even recover from the cough, Lynxkit began to heave, her tiny stomach clenching. 

Firepaw leapt away as the kit turned her head and vomited. A stream of blood and bile poured from her mouth, pooling beside her nest in waves. When she finally finished hacking, she only stared at the mess. The she looked to Firepaw, her young eyes flooded with terror. 

”Am I dying?” 

The words were little more than a whisper. She clutched the Deathberry tight between her tiny paws. Firepaw was still in shock at the sheer amount of blood Lynxkit had puked up. She didn’t even know that much blood was in a cat. 

She forced herself to recover at the kits words though. Swallowing harshly, she gathered herself together for one last, bitter, lie. It was all for the best, she told herself. This way, Lynxkit would go quickly, almost painlessly, instead of drowning in a broken body. 

”No.” she whispered, tucking a stray tuft of fur down on Lynxkits head, “Spottedleaf and I are going to fix you. B-but remember what I said. You have to eat the berry then the pain will go away and you’ll wake up tomorrow with Goldenflower and Swiftkit. I promise.” She struggled to hold in a sob at her own words. 

Lynxkit nodded, her complete trust in Firepaw making this crime feel all the more horrendous. With the last of her strength, Lynxkit lifted her head and took a large bite from the bright red Deathberry. Then another, and another, and finally the berry was gone. 

Guilt immediately seared itself deep into Firepaws heart, so harshly that she knew she would carry this burden for the rest of her life. It was funny in a dark way. She’d been so sure this was right but the moment the kit had bit into the berry, she wanted nothing more than to take it all back. This wasn’t her choice to make, it was Starclans! It was too late to back out now however. 

It took only a moment for the berry to take effect. Lynxkit had just settled her head back down when she began to convulse violently. Her back arched in a spasm and she cried out thinly. A thin trail of bright red juice leaked from her mouth, smelling sickly sweet. 

Firepaw shuddered at the sickening stench, leaning down to hold the broken kit still as her life drained away. Lynxkit thrashed, her tiny claws unsheathing and raking Firepaws legs harshly. 

When she no longer had the strength to hold her broken foreleg up anymore, she let both of them drop and dug her claws into the nest as her body began to shut down from the poison. Ever so slowly, however, Firepaw noticed her flailing growing weaker and weaker. 

Finally, wheezing and gagging, Lynxkit hacked out her last words “You promised!” She gasped, her rapidly dimming eyes glaring hatred up at the medicine cat. Before Firepaw could blubber out an apology, the tiny kit shuddered and went still, succumbing to the deathberry at last.

Firepaw backed away from her, a sob rising in her throat. “M-mapleshade!” She called out, whipping her head to face away from the dead kit. She panted heavily, her legs trembling. 

She’d murdered a clanmate. She’d murdered a _kit_! 

Mapleshades tail curled around her shoulders. “Oh dear.” The dead tortieshell murmured, “Firepaw, did you-?” 

Firepaw cut her off with a nod, “Her lungs were filling with blood, she was going to die anyway!” She was trying to justify herself to both Mapleshade and her own mind, “I just didn’t want her to suffer anymore!”

With a huffing sob, she buried her head into Mapleshades fluffy chest fur. The molly cooed, lapping at her ears soothingly as she tried to comfort her. “Then you did the right thing.” She whispered gently, curling a paw around Firepaws back. 

Mapleshades still heart cracked when the tiny kit-like apprentice looked up at her with huge, watery, eyes. They were deep pools of regret, begging for something to bring relief to her pain. 

”I-I did?” She hiccuped hopefully. 

Mapleshade glanced behind her, seeing Lynxkit standing by her own body. The kits starlit eyes were conflicted but a rage lurked far beneath the clashing emotions. “You promised!” She hissed, stalking toward an oblivious Firepaw, who was still looking at Mapleshade. 

Lynxkit vanished before she could reach the apprentice, Starclan coming to claim her for judgement. With a long suffering sigh, Mapleshade leaned down, looking Firepaw in the eyes. 

”You did.” She mewed firmly, “She wasn’t going to make it. You did the best you could for the situation you were in.” 

Firepaw still trembled. For the first time in a long while, Mapleshade saw her as a scared, weak, cat who needed some gentle love. “Will Spottedleaf be mad at me?” She whispered, her voice cracking. 

A bolt of fear shot through Mapleshade, “You’re not to tell her. That cats always been convinced she would never use deathberries. She only kept them for Bluestars peace of mind.” 

She ran a tail down Firepaws back as the apprentices fur spiked fearfully. “Clean up this mess,” she gestured to the Deathberries that were strewn about and Lynxkits foamed mouth. “And tell her Lynxkit died from her injuries.”

”But..” Firepaw might have bent the truth or lied to get Tigerclaw in trouble but she had never lied about _murder_! Especially to her mentor. 

Mapleshades tail whisked over her muzzle, “Listen to me.” She mewed sternly, “Now go. I’ll tell Softstep that training is off tonight.” She vanished without another word, leaving Firepaw alone in a den of her crimes.

Firepaw hesitated, still in shock at her own actions. Her paws felt rooted to the stone floor and she wanted nothing more than to run out of the den. She couldn’t though. She had to get rid of any trace of Deathberries. 

Sweeping them up with her tail, she carefully rolled them back into the herb store, making extra sure they were in the same place she had found them in. 

Swallowing hard, she grabbed a piece of moss and slowly approached Lynxkits broken form. A wail tried to escape but she forced it down, forcing herself to keep looking at the kit. She had done this. 

Lynxkits eyes were open but rolled back in her head. Bloody, berry stained, foam dripped from her muzzle, sliding to cover her unsheathed claws that were still dug into her nest tightly. 

With a shaky paw, she gently began to wipe the foamed spittle from Lynxkits mouth, whispering apologies all the while. She hoped Lynxkit could hear her from Starclan and that she understood why she had done what she had. 

When the tiny tortieshell was finally clean, Firepaw groomed her fur and covered her in rosemary and lavender to hide the sour stench of death that had began to creep from the cooling body. When she could no longer smell it, she moved on to removing the sticks that held Lynxkits legs straight. They weren’t needed anymore. 

A new worry crossed her mind and she pried Lynxkits claws from the nest. A few strands of ginger fur were caught between them, snatched from Firepaw in the kits dying struggles. With a pang of guilt, Firepaw picked them away. 

As softly as she could with her fangs, Firepaw lifted the dead kit up by her scruff and pushed out of her den and into the camp clearing. “Patchpelt!” She called around her burden. 

The ragged tom appeared from the elders den, his face pinched tightly in worry. “What’s wrong?!” He called blinking sleep from his eyes, “Is Lynxkit okay?” A tiny copy of him in the form of Swiftkit slipped out behind him. 

“No. I’m sorry Patchpelt, Spottedleaf and I did all we could, but her injuries were too severe. I’m afraid they overwhelmed her. She hunts with Starclan now.” A shudder of disgust at herself slipped up Firepaws spine as the lie slithered from her tongue easily.

The toms eyes welled with grief. Gently, she led him to sit in the center of camp and laid Lynxkit out. “You can have a small vigil for her, but I’m afraid I’ll have to bury her at dawn.” She mumbled, backing away as Patchpelt buried his nose in his daughters fur. 

Firepaw went to back away, jittery and guilt-ridden but she froze as Swiftkit caught her eyes. The tiny kit had a paw set on his sisters, “When’s she gonna wake up?” He asked. 

Patchpelt turned to him, sweeping him up in his tail and leaning down to whisper in his ear. Bile rose in Firepaws throat as the kit let out a yowl of dispair and crumbled at his sisters side. 

She dashed back into the medicine clearing, unable to handle his terrible wailing. Panting harshly, she gazed at her trembling paws. _’You did the right thing, you did the right thing!’_ she repeated Mapleshades words for a long time, trying to force herself past the shock and regret. 

”It’s alright to feel overwhelmed.” A rasping voice sounded behind her. Yellowfangs tangled tail wrapped around her. The grizzly she-cat leaned down and lapped at her ears. “I know how hard it is to lose your first cat. Mine was a young tom named Cloudpelt. Spottedleafs was her own mentor. Barkface lost his mother. Runningnose lost a young apprentice. Mudfur lost his deputy.” 

Firepaw shook, hardly paying attention. Yellowfang sighed, “You drew the short tail out of us all. We’ve all lost kits. We know how hard that pain is to bear. I couldn’t imagine how awful it is to have one as your first loss.“

”It’s pretty awful.” Firepaw muttered, refusing to look at the she-cat. “I just wanted to help her but I don’t think I did the right thing anymore. It seemed right at the time but...” she realized her double meaning may give her away, “Maybe I gave her the wrong herb.” 

Yellowfang shook her head, her long shaggy fur brushing Firepaws head with the motion. “Herbs wouldn’t have fixed that.” She grunted, “I can’t believe Spottedleaf left you to care for her knowing she was going to die.” 

A stern grouchiness formed on her flat face, “I oughta claw her ear for that. I was here the whole time, she should’ve gotten _me_ to watch her. Losing a kit so early? It’s enough to turn some medicine apprentices back to the path of a warrior. If you weren’t so strong-headed and steady, I would’ve been worried for Thunderclans future.” She nudged Firepaws shoulder, obviously trying to cheer her up. 

”Heh.” Firepaw chuckled bitterly, “You just can’t help yourself, can you?” She knew Yellowfang had just been trying to cheer her up but the fact she’d sink so low as to tease her about her shattered dream at a time like this stung horribly. 

Yellowfang let out a huff, “What do you mean, help myself? That was a compliment!” She shuffled farther away from Firepaw, her shredded ears lowering some at Firepaws dismissal. 

The little furball should’ve been grateful. It wasn’t like she threw compliments around every day. 

Firepaw went to snap at her elder but stopped short. Yellowfangs seemed genuinely confused and a little hurt. Faintly, Firepaw remembered that the molly wasn’t of Thunderclan and hadn’t been around during her kithood. 

”I wanted to be a warrior.” Firepaw looked at her, tipping her head lightly in confusion, “Didn’t anyone tell you that? Bluestar and Spottedleaf made me be a medicine cat. They said I was too weak to be a warrior.” 

Yellowfangs orange eyes widened. She blinked them slowly, trailing them between Firepaw and the large scars left on her leg from the twos first meeting. Then she snorted, “Mouse-brained fools.” 

”Huh?” 

”You’ll never be a real medicine cat.” Yellowfang mewed, running a paw along her whiskers. The words weren’t biting or mean, in fact, they almost sounded sad. 

“Starclan chooses medicine cats, not leaders. They don’t know how to choose a medicine cat. All they’ve done is taught you herbs. Spottedleaf can’t make a connection to Starclan appear.” Yellowfang explained, her eyes rounding with pity and anger. 

A low growl rumbled in her throat and she hissed, “No wonder your clans been losing every battle since your apprenticeship started. They’ve messed with your destiny.” 

Firepaw shook her head, “But I passed the test. Spottedleaf laid out two bundles with dock in them and Ravenpaw didn’t notice his. I did.” 

A harsh laugh rasped from Yellowfangs throat. “Congrats kit,” she chuckled mirthlessly, “You have a nose. Like I said, they taught you the herbs.” 

A million thoughts began to race through Firepaws head but she forced them away. This wasn’t the time to be thinking of her own destiny. For Starclan’s sake, she had just _murdered_ a kit! 

The reminder made her sick. She blinked rapidly, trying to make the wobbly world around her hold still. Distantly, she heard Yellowfang curse and felt the mollys warmth vanish from her side. 

It returned a few moments later. “Here kit, eat this. It’ll make you better.” The words did nothing to calm Firepaw. They were far too similar to what she had told Lynxkit. 

For a moment, she could see the kit thrashing at her paws once more. The sight was too much. With a jerking motion, she crouched down and heaved, vomiting what little food she’d had in her stomach up. 

Oh Starclan. She’d killed a helpless kit. 

The fact was finally beginning to sink in and she could do little more than fall to her side. The grass of the clearing tickled her face. That felt real. This was real. She had really done that. 

She only had a brief moment of clear thought before her world blacked out but it was enough to hear Goldenflowers shrill scream. 

It contained only a little more guilt than Firepaws matching one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. I’m unfortunately still breathing. People found me too quick. It was swept under the rug as usual though. Haha, everythings better once the hospital releases you from watch, ain’t it?
> 
> Idk why I decided to write another chapter. Mostly it just helps me keep my thoughts occupied. Works out for y’all though, right? I might’ve told y’all the ending but we still have the ride to it. Or however far I make it anyway.
> 
> It’s weird. I actually feel ashamed I’m still alive. Like I failed. That i am just crawling back to some kind of routine I used to have and hoping you guys didn’t notice my meltdown.
> 
> It’s embarrassing in a dark way. Guess I’ll just vanish next time or maybe find a beta to continue this once i give out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy new years guys.

Firepaw awoke before sunrise the next day. She was tucked in Spottedleafs nest with the medicine cat absent. Stretching her small, stiff, limbs out, she struggled to put a reason on the dread that was pooling in her belly.

The memory of feeding Lynxkit the deathberry hit her with all the force of a monster, completely blindsiding her newly awoken mind with its intensity. 

She gasped harshly, digging her claws into Spottedleafs nest and struggling to hold herself together. The regret was almost physically painful, clawing up her belly with its sharp talons until she could taste it in the back of her throat.

“Finally, I thought you’d never wake up.” Yellowfang appeared at her side. “We’ve come in a full circle, kit.“ she mused as she dropped a mouse at Firepaws claws.

The tiny apprentice glanced at it then shoved it away. Her belly was churning. She didn’t want to risk eating at all, even the thought of biting into the mouses flank was enough to make her gag.

Yellowfang huffed, “I don’t usually bring prey to anyone. You oughta take advantage of it.” She nosed the disregarded prey back over to Firepaw.

The tiny molly didn’t respond, she only continued to stare at her paws with wide, empty eyes. Yellowfangs sharp orange eyes soften and she sighed, resting her tail over Firepaws small form.

“Listen,” she started off softly, “I know how you feel. You feel sick, like you don’t deserve to eat because they can’t. Your belly heaves at the thought of prey alone.” Her voice trailed off as she got lost in her own memories.

She shook her wide head and pushed on. “But you have too.” She mewed sternly, “Lynxkit was one cat. You’ve no time to mourn one cat. Today there will be another and the next day as well. You can’t let the death get to you.” 

She looked down at the unresponsive molly sadly, “As much as you wish to beat death, they will always be your equal. You’ll win some battles and lose others, but if you mourn every loss, you’ll be defeated in every battle you could win. Let her death be a lesson, not a hinderance. Let it have a reason.”

She waited for a moment but Firepaw said nothing. With another sigh, the old cat turned and began to leave. She let a brief smile curl on her face as she heard the sound of claws catching in flesh and a dragging sound. Yes, Firepaw would mourn for Lynxkit, but she would be okay. She would move past it. Someday.

Firepaw hardly paid attention to her surroundings as she chewed on her mouse. The flavor that usually sang on her tongue was muted and frankly, the rodent tasted like sand. She chewed anyway though, recognizing the wisdom in Yellowfangs words.

Lynxkit would haunt her steps for the rest of her days but that was her burden to bear. If she let her own feelings leak into her work, she could lose another clanmate. 

“I’m sorry.” The words startled her from her trance. Looking up, she found Spottedleaf had pushed into the den some time ago. The beautiful tortoiseshell was piling poppy seeds into a neat pile, the motion so familiar to her paws that she needn’t even look down. 

Firepaw took a moment to wince at the dirt clogging the medicine cats claws and legs before she swallowed her mouthful of mouse. 

“What for?” She croaked, standing to throw the mouse bones into their old moss pile. They’d end up in the dirtplace when one of the apprentices came around for their duties.

Spottedleaf was staring down at her pile like she really needed to. Her ear twitched at Firepaws words and the molly saw a pink scratch laced the tip. A little glow of warmth sparked in her otherwise empty chest. It seemed Yellowfang had kept her word.

“I’m sorry she was lost.” The words were a strategic apology. She was not setting blame on either of them or apologizing for leaving her in Firepaws barely capable paws. She was only sorry for exactly what she said, that Lynxkit had died at all.

Firepaw dipped her head in agreement, “Me too. How’s Goldenflower?” She mewed roughly, coming to sit beside Spottedleaf. Her head tipped when the molly flinched away from her. The older medicine cat got up with a jitter in her step and trotted across the den to dig through the herb store.

“As well as could be expected.” She grunted as she swished her paws about, looking for something. “She’ll mourn for a long while and probably blame herself for the rest of her life but we can do nothing about what has happened. We can only try to help her cope.” She pulled some goatweed from the den store.

Firepaw was a bit bothered by the cool, unfamiliar way Spottedleaf was treating her. Her words didn’t hold their usual warmth and the molly still hadn’t looked her in the eyes.

She didn’t even let their paws touch as she slipped the goatweed over before turning back to the store.

“Spottedleaf?” Firepaw asked cautiously, “Did I do something to upset you?” She swallowed a bitter bile in her throat.

The tortoiseshell didn’t respond for a moment. She simply continued to dig around in the herb store. She sat back up suddenly and turned to Firepaw, rolling three bright red berries around under her paw.

Firepaw froze. A cold fear bloomed in her chest. It crawled through her limbs, freezing them. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t move, she couldn’t even utter a word.

Spottedleaf stared down at her with disappointment shining in her amber eyes. “As awful as Lynxkits injuries were, I knew they were an opportunity.” She started, “I knew that there was little hope for her, prehaps there was none at all.”

She paused, looking at the Deathberries silently. “You’re a very observant little cat, Firepaw.” She rolled one once more, letting it out from under her paw pad. It rolled quickly, coming to a rest at Firepaws claws. One of them pricked it and a little stream of blood red juice leaked out.

“I would’ve thought you’d have noticed these were fresh.”

Firepaws throat tightened. She opened her mouth, trying to make any noise come out so she could explain herself, but nothing would. She could only watch as Spottedleaf shook her head.

“I never keep Deathberries. You know this, you know i only _tell_ Bluestar I have them. That’s why we left camp to learn about them!” Her chest began to heave as she glowered at Firepaw angrily.

She took a moment to calm herself but Firepaw could still see the anger rolling off her in quiet waves. “I left you with Lynxkit so I could see what you would do. So I could see what type of _Medicine_ cat you are going to be.”

Her tense shoulders trembled lightly “Lynxkit had no chance but her death was not our choice to make!” She hissed, “Starclan decides a cat’s time to die, not medicine cats! Not you! She could’ve lived until dawn, she could’ve spent one last day with her family!”

Firepaw finally found her voice, “In pain!” She protested, looking up at Spottedleaf pleadingly. She needed her to understand. She _had_ too! “She was gagging on her own blood Spottedleaf.”

Her voice was pinched with emotion, “She was suffering.” She swept her tail toward the dark stain on the den floor where Lynxkit had vomited, “For Starclans sake, you saw how bad it was! That wasn’t how she deserved to die, drowning in her own blood. That wasn’t how Goldenflower, Patchpelt, or Swiftkit deserved to see her off!”

“Maybe so.” Spottedleaf conceded, “but what about what Lynxkit _wanted_?” That hit Firepaw straight in her chest, making it hard to breathe once more.

_”I want mama!”_

She blocked out the memory quickly. “I did the right thing.” She insisted to them both. “You weren’t there, I was. I know when a cat is dying Spottedleaf. She wouldn’t have made it until Goldenflower returned, I did what was best for the situation I was placed in.”

“Let’s hope Starclan agrees.” Spottedleaf growled, sweeping the goatweed toward her with an angry flick. “Take that to Goldenflower, then go do whatever it is you apprentices get up too. You’re excused from training for today.” She turned her back on her apprentice without another word, beginning to gather some herbs for the elders.

Firepaw picked it up hesitantly. “Did...Did you tell her?” She mewed, a pit of dread opening in her belly. Spottedleaf stiffened, the fur along her back rising.

“No. I haven’t told anyone and I won’t tell anyone. This was my fault at it’s core. I needed to know who you are.” She sighed, “And I found out. There’s no reason to tell.”

Somehow her words, coated in disappointment, hurt more than Firepaws own regret at her actions. She opened her mouth then shut it. There was nothing she could say. She wouldn’t apologize for putting Lynxkit out of her misery. That would be admitting it was wrong of her and Firepaw simply couldn’t handle it if that became truth.

Her tail tip dragged on the ground as she padded from the den. She wanted to feel sad or find some way to make it up to Spottedleaf but the truth was, she didn’t have too. 

If Spottedleaf felt that she was in the wrong for killing Lynxkit, that was her problem. Firepaw had done the right thing, Mapleshade had said so! Keeping the kit alive would’ve done no good. 

They just had different views was all. Spottedleaf felt every cat should expire on their own terms and Firepaw wasn’t a complete Foxheart. 

It was fine. Spottedleaf could be mad. Firepaw didn’t care. That’s what she told herself, anyway. 

Pushing into the nursery was painful for Firepaw. She felt as if all the queens were staring at her and judging her for not being able to save Lynxkit.

Thankfully, none of them said anything to her. They parted to let her through and revealed Goldenflower, curled up in her nest. The queens head was bowed with grief and her tail was curled tightly around her remaining kit. 

With a tight feeling in her chest, Firepaw dropped the goatweed on her nest. “Goldenflower.” She murmured, “I cannot fathom the pain you’re in, I’m truly sorry for your loss but please, eat this. It will help.” 

Goldenflower looked at her with hollow eyes, “I killed my daughter.” She rasped at last, “I crushed her. She died in pain and it was my fault.” Her head dropped on the last word and she curled in on herself. 

Firepaw couldn’t bear it. She had killed Lynxkit, not Goldenflower. “She didn’t. I made sure of it.” She regretted the words as soon as she said them. Stars, if she kept piling on lies, she would be found out eventually. 

Goldenflowers ears pricked at her words, “She didn’t?” She breathed, her eyes beginning to shine hopefully. 

Firepaw swallowed, “No, I gave her enough poppy seeds to make a badger sleep. She just never woke up.” The lie tasted bitter on her tongue since truth was swirling around in her memory.

”But, Spottedleaf said her eyes were open.” Goldenflower was beginning to look suspicious. She wanted to believe Firepaw but her own guilt was stopping her from accepting anything that could give her relief. 

Firepaw didn’t skip a beat, “It happens when cats die. They relax. It was my own fault that hers were opened, usually we tilt their heads a certain way to keep them closed but I’m too weak to get such a grip on cats as big as Lynxkit was.”

Goldenflower looked deep into her eyes, she seemed to see that Firepaw was lying but rather than call her out on it, she dipped her head. “Thank you, Firepaw.” She wrapped her teeth around the bundle of Goatweed and turned away, dismissing the tiny apprentice. 

Firepaw darted out of the den with a nervous skip to her paw. Out in the clearing felt so open, like every cat could see under her pelt where her dark secret lie. Swallowing nerviously, she skittered across the clearing to duck beside the apprentices den. 

The shadows there were thick under the rising sun. They flowed over her pelt in a familiar veil and brought her instant relief from the bare, stripped, feeling of the clearing. Here in her cool shadows, no one could see her secrets. 

Unfortunately, They could still see her. 

”There you are, Sleepyhead!” Sandpaw yowled, bowling into her from behind. Firepaw yowled as she was thrown back into the slowly lighting clearing. 

Scrabbling to her paws, she hissed at her sister, letting the fur along her bruised back rise. “You mouse-brained idiot!” She growled harshly, “You’re not a kit anymore, Sandpaw, that really hurt!” 

It didn’t really, the bruise on her back was already fading. Firepaw felt hyper-sensitive to everything around her though, making even standing in the clearing almost unbearable. 

The bugs buzzing sounded deafening, the light breeze felt like claws against her pelt, the honeyed dawn light was burning her eyes, and the tiny prick of pain on her back felt like a gaping wound.

Sandpaw stared at her with a mixture of surprise and hurt, “I-I’m sorry Firepaw, I was just excited.” She ducked her head, “It feels like it’s been moons since we talked and I had good news.” 

She trailed off as looked her sister over. Firepaws spotted fur was ruffled and ungroomed, sticking up in odd places. One of her ears had flipped, stuck to her head by a poultice of some herb that was smeared on her back but Firepaw didn’t seem to notice, her eyes were darting about the camp anxiously. 

A twinge of pity shimmered in Sandpaws heart and she twisted around Firepaw comfortingly. “There was nothing to be done for Lynxkit.” She murmured lowly, hoping her words helped some. 

She had no idea that Firepaw would take losing a cat so hard. Her little sister had always been so calloused and aloof, it was hard to imagine she had such empathy.

Firepaws fur spiked uncomfortably and she shove away from her sister harshly. “I’m fine.” She growled, wishing to change the subject away from Lynxkit. “What’s this good news that’s got you so worked up?” 

Tigerclaws tail surprised her, making her nearly jump from her skin as it wrapped around her. “They’re traveling to the moonstone today.” He rumbled, glancing down at her wearily. 

The two met eyes and could see a shift in each other. They were both jumpy, with ruffled fur and jittery eyes. They had grown too close in the last moons to play it off however, they both knew the other was hiding something just not what. 

Firepaw was surprised to see a bit of fear flash in Tigerclaws eyes as Ravenpaw and Graypaw sleepily emerged from the apprentices den. His eyes quickly swung back to her, looking at her with a fearful anticipation. 

With a confused blink, Firepaw realized that all of them, even Dustpaw, were staring at her with that same glint as if they were all in on some joke that they’d neglected to tell her about.

”T-That’s great..” she trailed off awkwardly, looking around at them with a bewildered shake of her head. The tension in Tigerclaws posture let out and Firepaw heard him breathe a quiet sigh while the other apprentices slumped some, their eyes shining with relief. 

Tigerclaw leveled the others with a displeased glare, “You all ought to get to Spottedleaf for some traveling herbs. The journey to highstones is long and prey-free for new comers.” He turned and stalked away, leading the others to the medicine den. 

Sandpaw and Graypaw gave her a lick farewell on the head as did Dustpaw but Ravenpaw stayed back, his ears pinned to his head fearfully. 

Firepaw rolled her eyes at him as she slithered back to her shadows, “What’s up with you?” She didn’t really care, it was probably a mouses shadow that scared him but she was always a bit too curious. 

“You and T-Tigerclaw are really close, aren’t you?” the stutter that the pitiful tom spit out seemed as if it was trying to be an accusation. 

Firepaw narrowed her eyes at him, “Yes, What of it? Am I not allowed to have friends?” Her claws scratched at an itch on her shoulder as she looked him over. 

Ravenpaw swallowed harshly, “We’re your friends.” He insisted, “Tigerclaw isn’t a good friend to h-have. I really think you should think carefully about being near him. I mean, haven’t you noticed how brutish he is?” A wild look entered his green eyes. 

Looking over his shoulder, he crept up to Firepaw and leaned in close, swinging his eyes back to look into hers pleadingly, “Firepaw, He’s dangerous!” He whispered, his whiskers trembling. 

The fur along Firepaws spine rose hatefully, she was so not in the mood for this mouse of a cat disrespecting the only friend she had outside of her neglectful family. 

“So am I.” She hissed through her teeth, standing at her full height and growling at Ravenpaw. “Now I’d appreciate it if I was left on my own. I’ve had too hard a night to deal with whatever petty nonsense you have against Tigerclaw. I lost a kit, a _kit_ for Starclan’s sake, Ravenpaw!” 

With every word she stalked forward, prodding him out of her shadows and into the weak dawn light. Ravenpaws face had morphed from shock to horror at her first words. He crouched as he scrambled back from her, looking heartbroken and terrified. 

Firepaw didn’t care enough to stop, “I need a friend right now and Tigerclaw will happily be there for me so just leave him alone and go away!” 

”But we-!” 

Cutting him off, Firepaw thrust her head into his face, “Are not friends!” She snarled. 

Ravenpaws green eyes shone with hurt. He opened his mouth, stuttering a few unintelligible words then shut it. Without another word, he fled away from her, dashing into the medicine den.

Firepaw stared after him, a little voice in the back of her mind telling her she went too far. She squashed it down before it got too loud, snorting. Ravenpaw was a nearly grown cat, he could take being yelled at. Stars, he’d had Tigerclaw for a mentor. 

She sat in her shadows, grooming the cobnut poultice from her back. It had dried and crusted over, making her fur stick up and crinkle uncomfortably when she moved. 

Once her fur was as groomed as she could get it, she padded toward the fresh kill pile for something to bring to the elders. 

A grumble escaped her when she saw nothing but a few scraps of fur remained. It seemed Yellowfang was more thoughtful than she had led on. The grizzly she-cat giving up a mouse was so rare that Firepaw couldn’t help but feel touched. 

Stretching out her front paws, she decided to head out of camp for some fresh air. Besides, after that spat with Ravenpaw, she’d rather not see the moonstone patrol off. 

The air was crisp and cool as she reached the top of the ravine and headed into the forest. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was doing nor why she was doing it but perhaps it would be okay to take one day to simply wander around her lovely home. 

She wondered if Starclan cats came to visit their old homes. If she was in Starclan, she’d come back to Thunderclan everyday just to watch the animals scuttle about and the sun dhine through the leaves to dapple the forest floor. 

It was strange. While Firepaw had never actually seen Starclan, forgoing a bond with them for one with Softstep, she knew what it was meant to be. It was a gorgeous Greenleaf that never became leafbare, prey was always plentiful, mistakes were forgiven, and cats never got hurt. 

Knowing this, Firepaw would still choose Thunderclan. Where Leafbares were harsh, prey got scarce, cats made mistakes, and cats died, because the brutality of it all was somehow...perfect. It was perfect in it’s imperfection. 

Glancing down at herself, she sighed. Maybe that’s why she liked it so much. If a cruel and vicious environment that brings such pain and death can somehow still create beauty and peace, perhaps she could too.

Lynxkits face found it’s way into her thoughts and she settled down beside the Thunderpath. Laying her head on her paws, she finally allowed herself to feel the emotions that had been bubbling beneath her pelt. 

The horror and regret were so strong she could almost feel them as stones pressing down on her back, crushing her with their weight. A tiny cry slipped from her mouth, followed by another, and another, until she was wailing out her heartbreak to the dawn sky. 

Softstep would’ve beaten her for such weakness but Firepaw simply couldn’t hold it back anymore. Besides, here beside the Thunderpath, her cries were drowned out by the roaring monster. No one would ever know she’d been so overwhelmed. 

Or at least that’s what she’d hoped. 

”I swear, I heard something from over here!” Firepaw could just make out the voice over the rumble of a passing monster. She froze, her wail dying in her throat. 

Pawsteps sound close to her, far too close for her to get away. “Tangleburr, I found a kit!” She recognized that name, Longtail had mentioned it to her after a gathering once. These were Shadowclan warriors! 

Taking her paws off her head, she let the fur along her back rise, a growl growing in her throat as she saw two amber eyes staring at her from the cover of a bush. She stood, her legs trembling from her breakdown, and prepared to shred these trespassers. 

Or at least she was ready to shred them until a massive white tom stepped out of the bushes, his black paws smacking the ground as he stalked forward some and his heavy muscles rippling. 

Firepaw could only gape at him as a slender gray and white molly joined him. As much as she hated it to admit what the situation was, she remembered Tigerclaws words; 

_”If you had come across someone with training, you’d have been at their mercy!”_

And She was. There was no way, even with all her training, she could fight these two. She be lucky to take down _one_. 

With a a weak hiss, she crouched, trembling as they pulled closer, and prepared to fight. Starclan, this was pathetic. All her talk of honor and glory in battle and here she was, trembling in the face of death. 

She couldn’t help it though. She didn’t want to die yet, she hadn’t even finished training! 

The two cats looked her over, taking in her strange pelt and large eyes. This wasn’t like any kit they’d ever seen. 

Tangleburr, if Firepaw was guessing right, leap forward excitedly, “Just look at those claws and fangs!” She exclaimed, “Imagine how big she’ll be when she grows into them!” 

The words sparked an idea in Firepaw. They didn’t know she was an apprentice and any cat with empathy was much less likely to kill a kit than an apprentice. With that in mind, she crouched down further, widening her eyes in the same way she did with Spottedleaf to look sad and confused.

Tangleburr cooed then stood back, gaping her jaws to take in Firepaws scent. “She’s Thunderclan.” She murmured to her companion. 

The white toms eyes narrowed then his expression cleared. “Must be one of Frostfurs.” He muttered back, glancing at the kit wearily. She sure didn’t _look_ like the Thunderclan queen or any cat in Thunderclan for that matter. 

Perhaps they’d found her somewhere and taken her in once they saw the makings of a good warrior. If that was the case, they should have taken better care of her instead of letting her get out of camp and get so close to the Thunderpath. 

Shadowclan wouldn’t make the same mistake. 

He crouched down, scooting up to her with a friendly smile. “Hey there little one, what are you doing all the way out here? Are you lost?” He asked, placing his head on his paws to make himself seem less looming. 

Firepaw grumbled in her mind, she really hated acting like a kit when there was nothing amusing in it for her. Life was important too, though. 

“I-I went exploring.” She stuttered, forcing her voice to go high and kit-like. “I know the way home but I wanted to watch the monsters. Graypaw talks about them all the time.” She shuddered some for good effect, “I didn’t know they were so scary!” 

The white tom nodded exaggeratedly “Yeah, Monsters are really scary and loud too.” He agreed, “But so is the forest. There are foxes and owls and badgers that would gobble you up in a heartbeat.” 

His face brightened like he’d had a wonderful idea, “Why don’t you let Tangleburr and I take you back to our camp? We can send someone to get your mother and she can fight off all those bad animals.” 

Firepaw got a tingle down her back as she looked the tom over. It was far too similar to the feeling she’d gotten when Softstep had offered to mentor her. Under the toms smile and playful demeanor, she could see his prickled fur and the way Tangleburr kept glancing over her shoulder. 

She knew that, despite the nice way they were treating her, neither had her best intentions at heart. “That’s okay.” She squealed at last, rearing up to flash her claws, “I can fight them myself!” 

The darkening of the white toms eyes was all the confirmation she needed to know she had been right. She didn’t know why they wanted her at their camp but she knew now that she had to stay away from there at all costs.

”Well, I really don’t think you could fight a fox.” He chuckled lowly, the strain in it obvious to Firepaw. He began to creep a bit closer, “Besides, you’ll be much safer in Shadowclan camp.” 

His words had a double meaning to them but all Firepaw could focus on was the fact that his teeth were aimed for her scruff. If he got her by that skin, she’d be helpless. 

”...I think I should go now. Alone.” The high-pitched quality of her voice dropped and she allowed a hint of her fangs to show. If they planned to kill her back at their camp anyway, there was no need to pretend anymore. 

The forest fell quiet and all Firepaw could hear was the three cats faint breathing. The white toms eyes narrowed once more as all of them froze, the tension between them rising high. 

It snapped when the tom lunged forward, trying to snap his gaping jaws down onto her scruff. 

_”Now!”_ Softstep and Mapleshades faint voices echoed in her mind. 

Firepaw reacted so fast that she didn’t even realize she’d moved. She lashed out, tearing her claws across his face with a well aimed swipe. 

He howled loudly, lurching back from her to land beside his companion. He hunched over, yowling and smashing his paws against the left side of his face, trying in vain to quell the white hot pain and stem the gushing blood pouring from the wounds. 

“Blackfoot!” Tangleburr gasped, forcing his paws from his face. Firepaw flinched, staring at him with the same expression of horror that came over Tamgleburrs face. 

One of the toms amber eyes was shredded, leaking out onto his cheek as he wailed, falling to the ground and flailing about. “It hurts!” He choked, running his paw over the gashed on both his eye and face over and over again. “Starclan, it hurts!” 

Tangleburr looked torn, stuck between wanting to mangle the kit that had done this and getting Blackfoot home to Runningnose before he bled to death. With one last glare at Firepaw, she grabbed her deputys scruff and began to drag him away. 

”We’ll get you back for this, kit.” She hissed. 

Firepaw didn’t give her the chance to change her mind. She took off at a mad dash back to camp, wincing at squish of blood and meat on her claws. She looked down at them, seeing pink flesh and red blood splashing up her leg and leaving a bloody paw-print with her every step. 

It seemed today was not the day she would bring beauty and peace. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Long after the blood had been washed from her paw, Firepaw slept. 

She knew her pass of pity for killing Lynxkit was over and tonight, Softstep would come to collect her for training. 

Knowing all that made her incredibly confused when she awakened to find herself in the middle of Thunderclan camp. The sun was shining brightly down on her, coating the ground in a warm light. 

Warriors and apprentices were piled around her, basking in the lovely warmth as they chatted to eachother happily. Though Firepaw couldn’t hear their words, she could sense the excited, joyful tones. 

Looking around at them, she recognized some but many were strangers to her. Some were even kits that had grown into strong, proud warriors. 

”Perhaps a bit too proud.” She muttered, eyeing the scars lacing a grown Thornkit. In fact, every warrior and many of the apprentices were absolutely covered in scars, some still wrapped in healing poultices. 

The more she padded around the camp, the more she realized was wrong. The elders den was completely empty of elders, instead it was full of injured cats who Firepaw could tell were a few paw-steps from Starclan. 

A dark gray, ragged, she-cat with a blurred face buzzed around them, her posture tense as she rolled berries toward the nearest cat. 

Firepaw could tell from the scent that she was a medicine cat and it made her wonder, where in Starclans name were Spottedleaf and her in this dream? And what was this medicine cat doing? She didn’t even have the right herbs to treat wounds-! 

She froze, horror rising into her chest as she recognized the red shine to those berries. Deathberries. The medicine cat was poisoning them! What in the stars was going on here?! 

Pushing out of the enlarged medicine den, she trotted past the now shrunken crowd of healthy cats to the nursery. 

To her relief, the blurred kits were strong and energetic, bustling about happily. Their mothers, on the other paw, carried the same wounds and scars that the other cats did.

Feeling even more bewildered, she made her way back into the clearing and froze. Pushing out of the leaders den was Tigerclaw. 

The tom looked older, a few gray hairs on his muzzle and far more scars lacing his pelt but his eyes were bright and joyful as he murmured to his companion. 

Firepaw could only stare, her heart in her throat, at the older image of herself skipping alongside Tigerclaw to the fresh kill pile with her head and tail held high. 

She looked so much happier than Firepaw had ever been.

But so much worse as well. Firepaw padded around this, this _warrior_ and felt her belly churn some. Scars laced her pelt, claw and bite marks that had long since healed over. She walked cheerfully but with a horrid limp from an old, deep scar on her shoulder. 

Firepaw swallowed when she saw three claw marks tearing through one of her eyes, much like she had done to Blackfoot today. The bright green was dulled, covered by a gray film and staring at nothing. 

Her other eye was sparkling but deep down, Firepaw could see a dark rage lurking in it. It was the same rage that had often made her snap when she was younger and wilder, before Spottedleaf had forced her to learn to control it. 

”What’s this supposed to do, Starclan? Scare me?!” She called out, feeling her heart speed up when her dream self hooked a mouse on her claws. They were stained with dried blood and cracked from overuse. “This is how it should have been!” 

Yes, this was how it should have been and she could make it like this! She could fix some of the mistakes here, find Spottedleaf, make sure no dark gray molly took her place, and bring the elders back to camp then it’d be perfect! 

She and Tigerclaw would bring pride back to Thunderclan. She could see it now in the thick muscles lining the well-fed cats around her and the strong swipes from the kits that tumbled about. 

With him at her side, she’d no longer have to cower away from enemies too large for her and with her at his side, she’d keep the cats under them in line. They’d make Thunderclan feared and respected but joyous. 

_”At what costs?”_

She snapped her head around at the whisper. That wasn’t Softstep or Mapleshade. That wasn’t any cat she’d ever heard before. “Who’s there?!” She called, “Show yourself!” 

The scenery around her shifted and she suddenly found herself in the middle of an unfamiliar camp. Looking around, Firepaw felt her heart clench in pity at the sights she saw. 

Skinny cats stumbled about, stepping over their dead clanmates as if they were simply stones in their way. The nursery, if her nose was right, was barren but the sent of milk and queens still flowed from it, painting a worse fate for the clans young than if it had been abandoned all together. 

Barely any warriors were alive, even fewer were in relatively good health. The dens around her were demolished, crumbled in on themselves from lack of care. The reeds and fish scent around her made it obvious on where she was. Riverclan. 

Was this the same future? Had Thunderclan done this? Had _she_ done this? 

She was supposed to feel nothing for cats who could not fend for themselves, especially cats of another clan, she had learned this well under Softstep but... 

This was horrendous. Cats were gnawing on bones mouse-lengths from their rotting clanmates, kits lay dead and stick-thin in a pile outside of the nursery, how had Starclan let this happen? 

Someone seemed to be thinking the same as her. Firepaw saw a flash of fur and turned to see a well-fed, healthy shape moving among the Riverclan cats. Much to her confusion and revulsion, the figure had no features at all. They were completely white, with no face. She tried to pull closer but the ground vanished from under her paws once more and she was back in Thunderclan. 

Almost everything looked exactly as if had the first time but she could see the elders den was returned to normal. The warriors around her were not scarred as bad and there were many more of them than there had been in her first vision. 

As she walked through the camp, she could see it shifting. It would become Riverclan then return to Thunderclan. To her relief, both were healthy. Maybe...Maybe Starclan just showed her the first vision to warn her of what too much battle would lead to? 

If that were the case, then were was she? She could make out the same gray molly in the medicine den clearing, though her posture was carefree and she was playing with kits instead of killing injured cats. That meant Spottedleaf was gone as well. 

Swallowing, She pushed into the warriors den. She wasn’t there either. A commotion outside the den pulled her attention away and she padded to sit next to a group of blurred figures. 

The faceless cat from Riverclan was there as well and both had their attention turned to highrock. Firepaw followed their lead and turned her head up, a bolt of confusion lacing through her. 

Another, nearly featureless, cat sat atop highrock. 

Unlike Riverclans ghost though, she could make out swirling hints of gray and light ginger in the cats pelt, even a flash of black here and there. They blinked in and out of her sight, almost like the cat couldn’t decide which pelt color they wanted. Their figure too large and stocky to be Bluestar but too small to be Tigerclaw. 

Oh. 

She understood now, even if she was confused on why they were showing her these things. These were not _her_ futures, they were _Thunderclans_ futures. She seemed to only play a role in the outcome. 

So far she liked this one best, where Thunderclan was strong but not at the expense of others lives. She needed to figure out what her role was in this future and perhaps she could alter it to fit her as a warrior. 

Searching the dens proved fruitless, she wasn’t a queen nor a medicine cat apparently, she wasn’t leader or deputy and neither was Tigerclaw so where in Starclans name where they?! 

The dream ended at the camp entrance, preventing her from leaving so she knew she was not simply out hunting or patrolling. 

“Starclan, please! Show me how to make this real! Show me how to save us!” She begged, wandering around the camp hopelessly. Fear gripped her, those were not her words and that was not her voice. The faceless figure watched her from afar, somehow piercing her with a glare despite having no eyes. 

She wished she could have kept her mouth shut a moment after she opened it. The world around her began flying by, showing futures and pasts that were almost too fast to recognize. 

_Tigerclaw killing her._

_Her as a kit, thrashing on the ground with blood foaming around her mouth._

_Her, still with kitten fluff on her ears, hunched on the Thunderpath, her eyes wide with betrayal and terror as a monster roared toward her._

_Her, floating lifeless in the river, a bundle of watermint trailing slowly alongside her._

_Her, twitching beside the snake rocks._

And finally, her, with her throat torn out. Blood pooled beneath her as she gagged, staring up at her killer with such heartbreak and betrayal it took her breath away. She could only watch through blurred vision as the murderer rushed away, their small paws stained red with her blood. 

The horror of it all was beginning to overwhelm Firepaw as she recalled Yellowfangs words. 

_”No wonder your clans been losing every battle since your apprenticeship started, they’ve messed with your destiny.”_

Her destiny hadn’t been to be a warrior. It hadn’t even been to be a medicine cat. Firepaw was never supposed to have lived. 

Her destiny was to have died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now before anyone goes flailing after Starclan for telling Firepaw all this, remember my wording about communicating with the afterlife and shit.
> 
> I’ve always enjoyed the idea that Starclan knew a cats destiny from the moment they were born. However, I also like to think that if they didn’t like that destiny, they’d do whatever they could to stop it bc y’know, Starclan sucks.
> 
> And don’t you just hate it when someone exposes all your murder plots? Wonder who ever would have done that to them? After all, this is bound to make lil Firepaw a little....bitter, right?
> 
> Also, yep, Spottedleaf really did that. She planted those berries to see if Firepaw would let Starclan decide or if she would take Lynxkits fate into her own paws. She knew they were there the whole time and how many were in there.
> 
> Everyone’s favorite medicine cat is gonna have a bit of a dark, manipulative side in this fic so don’t always assume she’s not up to something or another.
> 
> She’s not the only one either. Everyone but, ironically, Firepaw is playing some game of manipulation, dead or alive, younger or older, they’ve all got a game and y’all should be a bit worried about whos gonna lose.
> 
> Lastly, I made the stories mostly to work on creating characters with consistent but deeply flawed personalities. 
> 
> Like Firepaw is a violent, non-merciful cunt. Or she tries to be because that’s what Softstep, the only cat who believed in her, tells her to be. 
> 
> Since I started her apprentice ship with Softstep, I’ve tried to make it like she’s pushing everyone else away and latching on to both her dark forest mentors and Tigerclaw in an unhealthy dependency because either she believes they truly care for her or they can offer her something.
> 
> Basically I’ve made her an egotistical narcissist with an obsessive dependency and victim complex that manifests itself into violent mood swings and conflicting personalities.
> 
> It’s that coming off good or no? I feel like I need to delve a bit deeper into Firepaws inner thoughts for y’all to really see it but let me know, have y’all picked up on any of that behavior and diagnosed it yourselves?


	10. Chapter 10

Firepaw gasped heavily, resting her paws on the camp ground in shock. Her ears rang, a meaningless, annoying, backdrop to her spiraling thoughts. 

She was supposed to be dead. That was what all this was, what all these futures she’d seen had told her. But why tell her? What was going on? Why was she being shown this? 

”You needed to know.” 

Her ear barely flicked as Softsteps words melted in through the ringing. The burly tabby wrapped her tail around Firepaw, gently pushing her head to rest against her chest. 

Firepaw found she hardly flinched as her face met the split and bloodied skin there. She only flattened her ears and waited for Softstep to explain. 

She didn’t wait long. “I know you think, in the deepest part of your mind, that you’re making the wrong choices with your life.” The tabby murmured, her voice the soft tone she had taken back when Firepaw first started training. 

“It all tangles around you, doesn’t it? The mistakes and guilt.” She continued “But you blame me, do you not? You think of _leaving_ me, don’t you?” 

Her foreleg tightened around Firepaw. The tiny molly could scarcely breathe, from the tightness or fear, she didn’t know. 

A pit of dread opened in her belly. How did Softstep know she was planning to leave her once her usefulness wore out? She’d never let it slip from her mouth! 

Softstep slowly drew her claws back in, taking measured breaths, “I needed to show you.” She whispered, “You chose to forsake Starclan all those moons ago and despite what you’ve started to think of me, I had to start unraveling the lies that are built around you, my dear, to show you how right you were to abandon them.“ 

Her tail flicked behind her ominously, “This was first of many. You’ve been lied too, Firepaw, for the convenience of those around you.” 

Firepaws ears flicked up, “What?” She mewed, her mind beginning to race, “Who lied to me?“ the very thought stung her. She lied for good reason, to spare Goldenflowers feelings, but what reason would someone have to lie to her? 

She felt Softstep shift, “Many have but not me. Never me. I’m your mentor but most importantly,” she twisted around Firepaw, tipping her chin up with a paw to grin down at her sweetly. The tiny molly tried not to let her expression crack at the deformed muzzle and missing, bloody, fangs. 

“I’m your friend and I’ve always believed you were destined for power, from the moment I saw you.” She brushed her cheek against Firepaws, smearing cold blood there, “But I wasn’t the only one who saw what you were capable of.” 

Softstep nudged her face forward. Following her directions, Firepaw realized a cat was sitting across from her. They simply stared at her, their white eyes twinkling emotionlessly. She studied them, finding their pelt strange but beautiful. It looked as if it was carved from the night sky itself. 

”This is the leader of Starclan.” Softsteps voice was hollow of emotion yet leaking with venom. 

Firepaw gaped, “The leader of Starclan?!” Excitement built in her chest. She was finally going to meet her ancestors! Shaking off Softsteps tail, she tried to dart forward. 

Teeth clamped down on her scruff, hauling her back. “Yes, this is the leader of Starclan.” Softstep hissed, “And once they saw what you were capable of, they wanted you dead.” 

”What?!” The words were only a small breath on Firepaws gasp. Her chest tightened, churning her belly with dread and sickness. Starclan wanted her dead? Why? She had done nothing wrong! 

”Oh Firepaw,” Softstep brushed her muzzle on the shocked mollys head, “This wasn’t your dream.” Beside the leader of Starclan, the featurless gray cat appeared, seeming to glare at her with hatred despite lacking the eyes to do so. 

They burned through her and suddenly, everything was too much. She flung Softsteps tail from her shoulders, spinning around. “You’re lying!” She shrieked, “You just want me to stay your apprentice instead of turning back to Starclan!” 

The molly didn’t twitch an ear, “I want you to stay, yes, but you must understand,” she stepped forward, purring lightly, “As hard on you as I am, as cruel as I seem, I care for you, Firepaw. Like you’re my own kit.” 

Firepaw looked deep into her pitch black eyes, wishing she could see some emotion behind them. She knew the molly was lying. She may care for her some but Firepaw wasn’t foolish enough to think the molly cared enough to mourn if she died. 

She said nothing about that however, letting Softstep continue on, “Leave me if you wish. Train with Mapleshade or Tigerclaw if it suits you, I just couldn’t bear to see you return to those who plotted to _kill_ you!” A wail built in the tabbys throat. 

Leaning down, Softstep curled around her, “You don’t need Starclan. The Dark Forest saw your potential and chose you the day you were kitted. Now it’s come to you, Firepaw.” Her voice grew grave and serious, “You know all of Starclans plans, you know all of ours, we chose you but will you choose us?” 

Unsheathing her claws, Firepaw resisted clawing the crazed spirit. She knew Softstep was not lying about Starclans plans. Try as she might, she couldn’t banish the doubt from her mind. Perhaps Starclan had wanted her dead but Softstep was obviously playing her. 

Firepaw was not a stupid cat despite what this bloody, dead, and deformed cat insisted on thinking. The Dark Forest had welcomed her. They were full of cats like her and, like herself, everyone was out for themselves. 

_”Firepaw!”_

She hardly spared a thought towards the faint call. She didn’t know what Softstep had to gain from showing her this. All it had done was taken Firepaws faith. The Dark Forest didn’t care for her, she knew this after a moon, but she thought she had Starclan. She thought they had loved her as the had every clan member. 

_”Firepaw, wake up now!”_

Turning her back on a visibly irritated Softstep, she focused on the distance figure of the Starclan Leader. Somehow, she knew they weren’t part of the dream. They felt too real. 

_”We need to treat their wounds!”_

The distant voice was pleading but Firepaw paid it no mind. She looked at her ancestor, meeting their eyes with a tilt of her head. “Is it true?” She called, stepping towards them. 

Stars sparkled on their pelt, much too bright for Firepaws liking. Their white eyes gleamed, narrowing lightly at her question. To Firepaws dismay, they gave a slow, almost nonexistent, dip of their head. 

_“WAKE UP!”_

The screech woke Firepaw from her nightmare. She had no time to think on her discovery, no time to acknowledge that Starclan had wanted her to die.

Spottedleaf shoved a bundle of herbs in her paws as soon as she’d opened her eyes. Behind her, wails rang out and cats tumbled about in battle.

”Wha-?!” Firepaw sputtered, leaping to her paws. She tottered unsteadily, grabbing the bundle of herbs and frantically looking around to make sense of the chaos. 

Spottedleafs tail was flicking furiously as she shoved herbs into a cowering Darkstripes wounds, “Shadowclan is attacking!” She hissed as explanation. 

Inhaling the rich scent of familiar herbs, Firepaw calmed slightly. Dream or no dream, horrid discovery or not, this was what she was trained for. 

”Stay here, I’ll cover the battle.” Spottedleafs words cut right through her plan. 

Hissing, she snatched another bundle from the store, “Don’t be foolish, Spottedleaf, they won’t hurt me, they’ll think I’m a kit.” She growled, “You, on the other paw, are fair game in the heat of battle.” 

It was something she knew well. In her night battles with Tigerclaw, Mapleshade, or Softstep she’d often forget they weren’t truly her enemy and slash too deeply. If she could forget not to harm a friend than it would be all to easy for Shadowclan to forget Spottedleaf was a medicine cat.

Spottedleaf opened her mouth to argue but Firepaw didn’t give her the chance. Hooking the two bundles onto her shoulders, she darted from the den, ignoring the tortoiseshells squawk of alarm. 

Outside the safe tranquility of the medicine den, Firepaw stopped dead in her tracks. She could only stare at the battle as it unfolded in front of her. 

Mapleshade and Tigerclaw had spoken of battle. Many, many, times. They’d told her of the rush, of the absolute freedom among chaos. How every slash and bite was met with the pain filled screech of an enemy, how they meddled together into a lovely harmony. 

The song of war, they’d called it. 

They said it was brutal but beautiful. Firepaw could see the brutality but where was the beauty?

Around her, cats slashed and howled as they tore into each other. They rolled past her, splashing into pools of blood. They didn’t even pause as the thick liquid stuck to their fur, they simply spat and continued to rip at one and another as they slipped in it. 

Tufts of fur littered the clearing, flinging up into the air in time with a cats screech of pain. Firepaw gazed around at her clanmates, taking in the wounds that littered their bodies with a studying eye. 

A whine threaten to slip from her throat. It was going to take their whole medicine supply to fix this! 

Their soon to be dwindling supplies became the least of her worries as a black tom caught sight of her. His eyes went wide with shock before he shot forward, trying to lock his teeth around her scruff. 

Dropping her herbs, she reared up on her hind paws. Just as he reached her, Firepaw slashed his nose, hooking her claws in the nostrils and ripping through the soft cartilage. 

He screeched, whipping his head back and forth in pain. Blood whipped away from him in droplets, soaring across the air to land on the dusty camp ground. 

It poured from his open wound, spilling onto his chest and staining the white fur there with a dark crimson. He gasped heavily but simply continued standing there, trying to get a hold of himself, instead of fleeing the fight. 

Seeing this, Firepaw decided that she wouldn’t either. Darting underneath the toms belly, Firepaw raised a paw and tore into it. Large gashes ripped open, raining blood down onto the tiny molly. 

The tom wailed, leaping away from her vicious claws. He turned, staggering and slipping in blood, to lock his teeth on her ear in a painful bite. 

Firepaw had froze, her heart in her throat. Her fur was coated, absolutely drenched, in blood. It’s warm stickiness made her gag slightly. She was used to the dark forest cats cold blood. 

Underneath her disgust, however, a small spark of pride gleamed. It was her first fight against a trained warrior in battle and she’d wounded him severely before he even landed a claw on her! 

His teeth snapping down onto her ear forced her mind from the conflicting feelings. Ripping her head free, she shrieked with pain. White hot pain surged through her, making her legs tremble as she struggled to stay upright. Her ear throbbed, streaks of blood rushing from the torn cartilage. 

Raising a paw she ran it over the ear, trying to stop the pain. Her stomach turned as she realized it was missing a large chunk, splitting into a deep V. 

She had no time to dwell on it as the tom grabbed her scruff, picking her up and slamming her back to the ground. The air fled from her lungs in a gust, leaving Firepaw gaping like a fish as he grabbed her and threw her into the gorse barrier before coming down on her once more. 

The tom didn’t back down and soon, Firepaw was forced to realize she wasn’t winning this fight. The tom was slashing at her over and over, deflecting her flailing claws. 

Panic began to overwhelm her when she realized she had nowhere to run. He had her pinned against the gorse barrier, where she could do nothing but land weak blows on him while her strength ebbed away with every drop of warm blood spilling from her wounds. 

He wasn’t stopping, he was going to kill her! Firepaw let out a cry as he slashed her muzzle harshly, ripping the skin across it open. Blood spurted forth, hitting the toms face in an arc. 

Stumbling back, Firepaw tripped, landing beside her herbs. The bundles scattered around her, their scent overwhelming Firepaws nose. Weakly, she gazed up at the tom, praying he’d have the decency to end her quickly. Hopefully Softstep wouldn’t be too angry with her when she joined her. 

He raised a paw, his claws unsheathed and aimed for her throat. However, at the sight of the herbs, he froze. His amber eyes stretched wide, “Y-You’re a medicine cat?!” He shrieked. 

Firepaw took his moment of shock to attack. Aiming her fangs, she lurched forward and sank them deep into the flesh on the inside of his foreleg, where shoulder met body. 

Chomping down and feeling the tissue cave beneath them gave Firepaw strength. He wouldn’t win now. She had turned the tides and struck in a very important weak spot. Beside her, the paw trembled then went limp and flopped down as the tom let out a high-pitched yowl. 

He ripped free from her, his leg hanging loosely at his side. He gasped heavily, glaring at her with hate before he turned tail and scrabbled away through the gorse barrier. 

Panting, Firepaw quickly gathered what herbs she could salvage from the bundle and looked around. The battle had not slowed around her, cats still yelped and hissed in tangled piles of blood splattered fur. 

To her surprise, she could see Dustpaw and Sandpaw weaving in and out between cats, slashing and biting at every cat they could reach. Behind them, Ravenpaw and Graypaw covered each other, making sure none got past them to the elders den. 

Bluestar was tangled in a fight against a hissing black and white queen. The queen was much younger than her and was using her youthful strength to pin the leader down. 

Bluestar, though old, refused to back down. She simply bunched her hind legs and sent the molly flying with a powerful kick to her belly. 

Finally, Tigerclaw emerged from the thickest part of the battle, tossing a skinny tom away from him with a snarl. Blood dripped from multiple wounds but the light of battle lit in his eyes, bright and energetic. 

Firepaw would’ve rushed to his side but she could see he was clearly in his element. If she came, he’d want to protect her and that would distract him. A deadly mistake. 

Besides, as her eyes darted towards the nursery, she could see she might be needed elsewhere. A flash of gray and white was rushing towards the bramble den, only to be stopped by Rosetail, one of the younger elders. 

Tangleburr didn’t hesitate. She slammed into the elder at full charge and locked into a tussle with Rosetail, rolling over and over as the elder dug her aged teeth onto her shoulder deeply, yowling in rage. 

Firepaw rushed forward, her vision tittering wildly from bloodloss. Jerking to a stop, she coughed and wheezed, retching from the sudden dizziness that swamped her head. Swaying violently, she struggled to force what little food she’d eaten the night before back into her belly. 

Fighting heaving spasms, she desperately tried to catch any cat’s attention and get them to help the elder. However, before she could, a distant snap sounded over the ringing in her ears. 

Firepaw could only gape as Tangleburr dropped Rosetails limp body as carelessly as if she was a bad piece of prey and headed into the nursery. 

The elder hit the ground with a solid thump, her dimmed eyes stretched wide with shock. A thin trail of blood slowly seeped from her mouth, sluggishly forming a small puddle beneath her chin. 

Trembling, Firepaw gritted her teeth and pushed forward. Memories of Rosetail rushed through her mind, the deaf elder was reclusive but sweet. 

She wouldn’t harm a dog if it was chewing on her and here this arrogant, Starclan-forsaken, foxhearted Shadowclan cat had come and _killed_ her. She’d killed her friend, her elder, her clanmate! 

Breaking into a sprint, Firepaw broke into the nursery just in time to see Yellowfang roll past with her claws dug deep into Tangleburrs sides. 

The two mollies hissed and spat, clawing at one and another. Firepaw didn’t spare a moment, she rushed forward and leapt upon Tangleburrs back, digging her front paws in and ripping her claws down her sides to tear large gashes. 

The molly convulsed, arching her back and letting out a piercing scream. As her back arched, Firepaw was thrown off of her shoulders. The tiny molly flexed her tail, rolling in the air to land on her feet and dash forward once more. 

However, now Tangleburr was facing her and facing her with blood-rage. She lifted a hefty paw, claws unsheathing, “You,” She snarled, slamming the paw into Firepaws head so hard the molly went flying once more, “Will not get away this time!” 

Briefly, Firepaws vision went black. Stars lined the corners of her eyes, threatening to pull her in. Grunting, she pulled herself to wobbly paws and glared up at Tangleburr. 

Yellowfang had attacked again and was forcing the skinny molly to the ground. “Run, kit!” She panted, “Get one of the warriors!” 

”We don need o-one!” Firepaw slurred, stumbling towards them. 

Snorting, Tangledburr kicked out and struck Yellowfangs muzzle, slicing her from nose to chin. Blood dripped down and Yellowfang shrieked, backing away to run her paw against the wound over and over again. 

”This is for Blackfoot!” Tangleburr snarled, raising her claws up. Firepaw felt her face stretch in horror when she realized the molly was aiming for her left eye. 

She tried to dodge but the blow to her head had done it’s damage, she felt as if she was in a dream, unable to move fast enough to turn and take the claws in her shoulder. 

Like a hero of legend, Yellowfang rose up behind Tangleburr as her claws struck down. Her wide front paws slammed into the mollys neck, jerking her head down. 

Her one standing leg crumbled beneath her chest while the other went flailing, only managing to nick the skin above Firepaws eye in the commotion. The tiny molly winced at it, hissing, and slashed at Tangleburrs downed head, giving her ear a cut in return. 

The she-cat looked stunned, her eyes blown wide. Blood dribbled down her chin from where her teeth had nipped her tongue on contact. With one last swipe to her muzzle that drew beading blood, Tangleburr retreated, dashing from the den with a weak threat. 

”You’ll be alone eventually, kit!” 

Yellowfang took a moment to catch her breath then turned to look Firepaw over. The tiny molly could see instant worry fill the yellow orbs. 

”What happened to you, kit?” She murmured, snatching some of the herbs and pressing them into the multiple scratches lining Firepaws face and shoulders.

Firepaw chuckled, ignoring the burning from the herbs juices, “Apparently Shadowclan fights first and asks if you’re a medicine cat later.” She muttered, shaking her head to try and loosen the stars dancing in it. 

Yellowfang laughed gruffly, “Sounds about right!” The mewling of Frostfurs confused kits kept the silence between them from growing awkward. 

Finally, Yellowfang tightened a small bunch of cobwebs around the nick in her ear and looked her deep in the eyes. “We need to talk once this is over.” She mewed sternly, “I want to know what Tangleburr was talking about with Blackfoot.” 

Firepaw blinked rapidly, her mind clouding up. She struggled to make sense of the words the older medicine had spoken. They slipped and twisted away from her understanding as though they were coated in slick ice. As her eyelids shut in a blink, she felt something began to drip down her cheeks. 

”Kit?” Yellowfang asked, leaning down to more clearly peer into her companions eyes. Firepaw barely acknowledged her look of horror but the tumble of swears that poured from the elders mouth was harder to ignore. 

Yellowfang turned quickly, darting from the den, “Stay there and don’t move your head!” She yelled back. Her fur was spiked all along her back and tail with worried agitation. 

Firepaw snorted, wondering what was on her pelt. Blinking once more, she lifted a paw to wipe her face. The dripping was growing annoying and why did her head hurt so bad?! 

Looking down, she saw her paw had come back stained with fresh blood. A sick feeling twisted in her gut and she opened her eyes from another slow blink, wincing at the light from outside the den. It stung her eyes, making her head throb worse. 

She blinked rapidly again but it did nothing to clear the blood from her eyes. Were her eyes bleeding? Why would they be bleeding? 

Spottedleaf. 

She’d know why Firepaws head hurt so bad. Trembling, Firepaw stumbled forward, teetering wildly as she made her way out of the den. She could barely make out the camp. 

Cats tossed around her, their screaming piercing her ear as loud as a monster roaring right beside her. 

A particularly loud one forced her to whimper. No, it was as if a monster was _inside_ her head, banging around and howling to be let out. 

”Firepaw!” The weak but urgent cry made her ears ring loudly. Stumbling, she saw Lionheart was being overwhelmed by a group of cats. Her thoughts span, trying to scramble away from her as she grappled with them to remember. This was a battle, Shadowclan was invading, her head hurt... 

Questions raced through Firepaws mind, too quickly for her to grasp at them. She tilted her aching head, wonder why the golden tom was calling to her. She was a medicine cat and in no condition to fight. 

He answered her unspoken question only a moment later, “Call them off!” He gasped as a tortoiseshell ripped her claws into his shoulders. His green eyes were wide and pleading as he stared at her, waiting for her to come and insist that he’d lost to the cats so they’d leave. 

Firepaw looked around, seeing all other warriors were preoccupied with their own fights, going in tooth and claw to hold their own. All but one. 

Over Lionhearts head, standing atop a stump and slashing absentmindedly at a ginger she-cat, was Tigerclaw. His amber eyes were locked on Lioheart, brimming with desire. 

Though Firepaw could hardly make sense of the world around her as her face began to swell, she knew they had a conversation that meant a million different things as he swung his eyes to meet her glazed ones. 

“Firepaw, please!” Lionhearts gurgling cry sounded in the back of her mind as Tigerclaw gave her a slight nod, as of to confirm what she was thinking. 

_“Maybe someday I’ll be leader and I can help you prove them wrong too.”_

Indecision laced through her. Firepaw looked away from her friend, ignoring the way the world span at her paws. Lionhearts pleads continued to ring in her ears, begging her for help. 

With a shake of her buzzing head, she headed towards him. He was her clanmate! She couldn’t let him die just because she wanted to be a warrior and if he lived she’d never get the chance to do anything she wanted with her own life. 

One of her claws caught on a small blade of grass. Firepaw stopped to stare at it, her mucked thoughts twirling. Lionheart would never let her be a warrior. She’d be confined to the medicine den for the rest of her days. 

However, there was no guarantee Tigerclaw would become deputy if she chose to stand aside. Bluestar could choose a number of cats and, even if she chose him, there was a chance he’d die before he became leader. Was she truly willing to take Lionhearts life on a gamble? 

Her wounds stung harshly, throbbing in time with her pounding headache. She was out of practice, having spent the last few days with no training. It had left her helpless against those that attacked her. Stars, an elder had to save her! 

How quickly would she die if she was forced to stay a medicine cat? As Tangleburr had snarled, she would be alone eventually. She needed experience in more than just the dark forest! She needed to learn to fight against true enemies in the real world. 

The thought bedded itself into her mind. For the first time in her short life, Firepaw felt a genuine hatred built in her gut as she stared at the weakening deputy. 

He had wanted her to save him, to speak out for him. He wanted to live. _’Well, I wanted to choose my life!’_ her thoughts hissed. He had never spoken for her, he had never even been polite to her! 

She hesitated once more. Did she truly wish to do this? There was no turning back if she did. Starclan wouldn’t forgive her for this. 

Her eyes narrowed and she bit her tongue. So what? She didn’t need Starclan if they didn’t need nor want her. 

Firepaw breathed hard, shoving her emotions away and clinging tight to her hatred and rage. Lionheart had never helped her, he couldn’t ask for her help. Besides, she wanted to be a warrior. Maybe even deputy. 

And she couldn’t be with Lionheart as leader. 

With that thought spinning in her mind, she spared Lionheart one last glance, enough to see his eyes widen with betrayal before his face collapsed in hatred as the tortoiseshell lifted her claws for the final blow. 

Firepaw turned away before they came down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, babys first act of treason! Also, her first concussion.
> 
> As for Tangleburr being there instead of Blackfoot, the dude just had his eye taken out, he needs rest.
> 
> I had a bit of fun(and symbolism) and made Tigerclaw and Firepaw twins with their matching ear nicks!
> 
> My fav part about this story is how Firepaw thinks she’s able to outsmart everyone because she knows they’re lying and can’t manipulate her but everyone is still getting away with lying to her about her literal entire heritage. 
> 
> Also Tigerclaw is being able to become her closest friend despite the fact he knowingly killed her (adoptive) father.
> 
> And yup, Softstep is playing the manipulation game. She straight up told on Starclan and she wasn’t lying about that. But yeah, her motives about why she was telling Firepaw all this may seem real obvious but I promise, they’re not.
> 
> So now knowing that she has no afterlife that cares for her, an afterlife that she has served loyally since birth, she’s obviously devastated by that. But as we all know, she tends to turn all ‘weak’ emotion into rage. And boyyyy is she pissed at Starclan.
> 
> Without their moral code holding her back, we can finally start down the Evil Firepaw Route properly! Props to those who guessed thats where this was going cause you were absolutely right.


	11. Chapter 11

Lionhearts scream of anguish sounded loudly but Firepaw could hardly hear it over the sound of her own rushing blood. Stars danced in her mind, twirling and twisting until they covered her sight completely.

She hardly felt her paws crumble beneath her as the stars winked out and her vision went black.

All was quiet in her serene darkness. Firepaw sighed quietly, her thoughts too muddled to gather a real line of thought. She simply slept, enjoying the warm comfort of the blackness around her.

“That was brilliant!” Mapleshades joyful yowl shattered her nice bout of unconsciousness.

Jerking her head up, Firepaw peeled her sticky eyes open to find herself in the Dark Forest. The red-tinted moon shown dimly overhead, casting a faint light down into the trees.

Firepaw felt herself relax some, drawing in the familiar scent of decay and blood to calm her racing mind. She pressed her cheek deep into the cool earth, letting the rancid soil ground her to reality.

Mapleshade stood across from her, her bushy tail vibrating with her joy. A wide smile stretched her face, stained heavily with the blood she’d spat out at the end of her miserable life.

Firepaw gazed around blearily, seeing Softstep stretched out atop some twisted oak roots. The glowing moss highlighted her face and body, showing off what was so often hidden among the shadows.

The large tabbys body had completely changed from how she appeared the first time she had shown herself. Her brown fur was twisted and knotted with dirt and dark pebbles, stinking of death. The few splashes of white she had were stained a dark crimson.

Firpaw tried not to look at her too long, off-put by her more gruesome features. One of her hind legs was nearly skinned, it looked as if the skin had been yanked away by force. Her muzzle was twisted and shoved partly in, where multiple fangs were missing. Finally, the wound that had killed her, if Firepaw had to guess anyway.

It lay on her chest. The skin from the bottom of her chin to the end of her chest was ripped open, exposing the innards of it far too much for Firepaws liking. She shook her head, looking away from the oozing flesh to see if the tabby was as happy with her as Mapleshade was.

For the first time in a long time, Softsteps face was prideful as she dipped her head to Firepaw. “You won’t be awake to see it but you made the right choice. Bluestar named Tigerclaw deputy. You’re on your way to the deputy position, my apprentice.” She mewed, her deep voice rumbling with a pleased purr.

“I let Lionheart die.” The sentence burned her tongue. Firepaw winced lightly, feeling guilt surge through her. What had she been thinking?! Starclan had betrayed her, not Thunderclan! Not Lionheart!

Softsteps eyes narrowed, the empty black pits gleaming knowing. “You feel guilty, Firepaw. It’s alright, we understand. The first kill is always the hardest.” She unsheathed her claws, looking down at them thoughtfully.

Mapleshade snorted, leaning down to bump her shoulder into Softsteps teasingly, “Don’t lie.” She murmured, “Ravenwing was far too easy to kill. It almost wasn’t fun. Almost.”

Firepaw wasn’t sure but she thought Softstep rolled her eyes. The molly looked back up at her, a wry grin twisting her deformed muzzle, “My mistake,” she trilled mockingly, “The first kill is hardest for those of us who are _sane_!”

“I didn’t feel this way with Lynxkit.” Firepaw murmured. Her paws were trembling. She felt as fragile as a birds egg. Sickness swirled in her gut, twisting and turning like an adder. She had nothing now. If Thunderclan ever found out what she’d done...

A paw hit her shoulder. Firepaw looked up, making out Softsteps sneered face, “Stop that moping, you should be proud!” She growled, “Lionheart wouldn’t have been a good leader, you knew this so you took care of it like a loyal cat is supposed to do.”

Firepaw glared at her, blinking her wet eyes harshly to chase away the small tears pricking the corners of them. “You can’t put a spin on this, Softstep. This isn’t like Lynxkit, there was another option. I betrayed Thunderclan.”

The words felt like hot nettles. Lionheart was dead and it was her fault! Oh, what was she going to say to Frostfur or their kits? Stars, their kits! He was a father and she’d taken away his life before he got to see them grow.

She was a monster.

“Firepaw!” Softsteps voice dripped with irritation, showing just how close the molly was to losing her temper. “Even if it betrayed your clan, it was for their own good. That’s your loyalty. You’re willing to do the dirty work that ensures Thunderclan grows strong, right? That makes you more Thunderclan then any of those code-following fools.”

“But-!” Firepaw started then stopped. Maybe, maybe it was best to think of it that way. She knew in her heart that she killed Lionheart for selfish reasons, so she could get what she wanted but she also knew that Tigerclaw would be an excellent leader.

The visions of Thunderclan she’d seen had been rich and plentiful with him at their head. Even if it cost the other clans, Thunderclan had thrived with him as leader! Would the same had been true with Lionheart? She didn’t know.

Now she never would but that was okay. It wasn’t a risk she was willing to take. Lionheart was a soft hearted cat who tried to talk his way out of everything. How well that worked had been shown in the most recent battle. He couldn’t talk his way away from Shadowclans claws.

If he led Thunderclan as he had lived, they would all fall to the other clans. Tigerclaw as leader was better, he would make them strong. Firepaw would make sure of it even if Starclan themselves tried to stop her.

Starclan had betrayed her and turned her away, she’d never serve them or their code again. She took Softsteps words and buried them deep in her heart for they were the new code she would live by.

She would do anything to make sure her clan grew strong and powerful, even if it meant getting her paws dirty.

Mapleshade curled around her but Firepaw hardly felt it. She gazed at the ground, seeing her paws in it. The large fangs attached to them were stained with dried blood and the rancid soil of the forest floor. 

This was her life now. She could not go back, there was no bringing Lynxkit or Lionheart back to life. She had started down this path, wreathed with death and deception, to bring forth the best future for her clanmates. Now she was committed to it, however much they may fight her methods. 

She would walk this path with no stars to guide her but that was alright. She had Tigerclaw and if their silent agreement was anything to go by, he’d march alongside her happily. 

With a tired sigh, Firepaw sank down into Mapleshades fluffy fur, breathing in her familiar scent. The molly murmured in her ear but Firepaw heard nothing of it as she let herself slip to sleep. She needed to wake up, Tigerclaw and her needed to have a conversation about further plans. 

The sun was already past its height, and the air felt cooler than before when Firepaw opened her eyes. Her head began to throbbed harshly, pounding along with every tiny noise that reached her ears. 

She sat up, shutting her eyes tight as nausea rolled through her. Spottedleafs quiet voice met her ears, “Firepaw, are you alright?” The tortoiseshells voice was dripping with concern. 

Firepaw groaned, trying to get ahold of herself. “F-Fine. I’m fin-!” Spottedleaf moved closer and her sweet scent, mixed with the overwhelming stench of herbs, blasted up Firepaws nose. 

” _Mrrrr-ow!_ ” She gagged, flopping over the side of her nest to heave. Her belly spasmed, clenching tightly but there was nothing to come up. 

”Oh!” Spottedleafs gasp was tinted with pity. She came up behind Firepaw, gently rubbing a paw on her back, “It’s alright, you’re going to be fine.” 

Firepaw blinked, her mind full of cobwebs, “Why does...my head hurt?” She muttered, struggling to talk around her jaws. Her while face felt puffy, swollen so badly that she had trouble seeing. 

Spottedleaf crawled into her nest, curling around her to lap at her pelt and cool her off. Firepaw gave her a grateful purr, her fur felt hot and clammy, clumped with dried blood and herbs. 

”Yellowfang said a Shadowclan warrior struck your head hard enough to send you flying. You’ve got a concussion.” She murmured, a seed of anger burying into her voice, “I told you to stay here and let me handle the battle!” 

Firepaw hardly flinched. She knew Spottedleaf was right, she should’ve stayed in the medicine den. She didn’t even treat any wounds, she’d only gained them. _’But if I stayed, Lionheart would’ve lived.’_

She was almost beginning to think it wasn’t worth it though. This headache was the worse pain she’d felt in her young life. She curled up, pressing tight against Spottedleafs belly and taking comfort in her mentors soft fur. 

The overwhelming scent had dulled down to a tolerable level. Firepaw dug her nose into her white underbelly, breathing it in and purring lightly. 

Spottedleafs tail curled over her and the medicine cat let her chest rumble, trying to lull her apprentice back to sleep. Rest was good for the injured. 

Sleep wasn’t on Firepaws mind, however. Talking with Tigerclaw was an urgent matter that nagged at her but she wanted this moment. It had been such a long time since she had spent any time with her mentor. 

The distrust and fight over Lynxkit faded into the back of her mind and she simply curled up closer, yawning widely. There were hurt feelings between them but they could wait to sort them. 

Besides, Firepaw might not agree with Spottedleafs choices but she wasn’t angry with her. She loved the molly far too much to ever stay truly mad. In the deepest part of Firepaws mind, Spottedleaf had taken Brindlefaces spot with her gentle encouragement and affection. 

After all, the brindle queen had seemed to forget her and Sandpaw existed. She had scarcely spoken to either daughter since her former mates death. 

Firepaw pushed those thoughts back to the put in her mind where they belonged. Standing up, she gave a startled Spottedleaf a lick on the head, “I’m hungry.” She explained, tumbling from her nest. 

Spottedleaf tried to pull her back in, “I’ll fetch you something, just lay down and rest Firepaw.” She insisted. 

”No, no I need to get something and talk with Graypaw.” She hesitated, “I saw Lionheart fall. Is he okay?” 

The medicine cats amber eyes darkened with despair, “I’m afraid not, Firepaw, Lionheart walks with Starclan now.” She choked, sniffling lightly. 

Shaking her head, Firepaw clarified, “No, not him, I know he’s dead. I meant Graypaw, is Graypaw okay?” She slurred lightly. 

The grief sharpened to suspicion in an instant, “How did you know he was dead?” Spottedleafs tone grew hard, “He died when you were asleep.” 

_’Foxdung! I need to keep my mouth shut until I can think!’_ Firepaw cursed in her thoughts, trying to drag together some cover story. 

”I saw him fighting,” she stuttered, swaying side to side, “He was bleeding too much, I knew he couldn’t have survived that then but him not being in here proved it.” 

The suspicious gleam in Spottedleafs eyes sputtered out, “Yes, his wounds were too grave.” She mourned, “Bluestar has named Tigerclaw deputy in his stead. As for Graypaw, he’s doing as well as could be expected.” 

Firepaw nodded, stumbling to push out of the den. Spottedleaf didn’t stop her. The older medicine cat was lost in thought, staring at her paws with unexplained fear. 

Firepaw shivered out in the clearing, the cool air piercing her thin fur. Her belly growled loudly, cramping with pain. She couldn’t remember the last time she had eaten, and she wondered briefly if she would have a chance too before she met with Tigerclaw. 

”Firepaw!” Ravenpaws voice cracked on her name. Whipping her head towards him, she saw him and Graypaw at the stump of the apprentice den, “C’mon, Bluestars called a meeting!” He yowled. 

Firepaw hissed loudly as the loud sound vibrated inside her skull and hurried to join the crowd gathered below the Highrock. 

Tigerclaw was speaking from his position beside Bluestar. “During the battle, our leader lost another life. Now that she has only four of her nine lives left, I am going to appoint a bodyguard to stay at her side constantly. No cat will be allowed to approach her unless the guards are present.” 

His amber eyes flicked to Firpaws left, where Ravenpaw sat and then back to the rest of the crowd. “Darkstripe and Longtail,” he continued, turning his gaze on the warriors, “you will act as Bluestar’s guards.” Darkstripe and Longtail nodded importantly, and sat taller. 

Bluestar now spoke. Her voice sounded gentle and calming after her deputy’s commanding yowl. “Thank you, Tigerclaw, for your loyalty. But the Clan must understand that I am still here for them. No cat should hesitate to approach me, and I am happy to speak to anyone with or without my bodyguards.” 

Her eyes darted briefly in Tigerclaw’s direction. “As the warrior code says, the safety of the Clan is more important than the security of any single member.” She paused, and her sky-blue gaze rested briefly on Firepaw, who met it with her usual glare. “And now, I wish to invite Yellowfang to join ThunderClan.” 

The glare vanished from Firepaws face, replaced by a genuine smile as meows of surprise rose from some of the warriors. Bluestar looked at Frostfur, who nodded her agreement. The other queens looked on silently. 

Bluestar continued. “Her actions last night proved that she is brave and loyal. If she wishes it, we would welcome her as a full member of this Clan.” 

From her place at the edge of the crowd, Yellowfang looked up at the Clan leader and murmured, “I am honored, Bluestar, and I accept your offer.” 

“Good,” meowed Bluestar, her voice firm as if the matter was now closed. Firepaw purred with delight, she was surprised to realize just how much Bluestar’s public show of trust in Yellowfang meant to her. 

Bluestar began to speak again. “Last night we successfully defended ourselves against ShadowClan, but they are still a great threat. The repair work we began this morning will continue. Our boundaries will be patrolled constantly. We must not assume that the war is over.” 

Tigerclaw stood up, his tail held high, and glared down at the assembled cats. “ShadowClan attacked while we were away from camp,” he growled. “They chose their moment well. How did they know that the camp was so poorly defended? Do they have eyes inside our camp?” 

Firepaw froze as Tigerclaw fixed his cold stare on Ravenpaw. Some of the cats followed their new deputy’s gaze and stared in puzzlement at the black apprentice. Ravenpaw looked at the ground and shifted his paws nervously. 

Confusion shot through Firepaw, what on earth was that about? Why would he be suspicious of Ravenpaw? For stars sake, they both laughed about how cowardly that tom was, there was no way he’d have the gall to be a spy 

Tigerclaw went on. “We still have a while before sunset. We must concentrate on rebuilding our camp. Meanwhile, if you suspect anything, or anyone, tell me. Be assured, anything you say will be in confidence.” He nodded to dismiss the Clan, then turned and began murmuring to Bluestar. 

The cats separated and began to move around the camp, assessing damage and forming work groups. 

“Ravenpaw!” Firepaw called, still baffled by Tigerclaw’s dark hint that his own apprentice had betrayed the Clan. But Ravenpaw had already bounded away. 

Firepaw could see him offering to help Halftail and Whitestorm, before rushing off to collect twigs so they could patch the holes in the boundary wall. Ravenpaw clearly didn’t want to talk. 

“Let’s go and help him,” suggested Graypaw. His voice was flat and exhausted, and his eyes were dull. 

“You go. I’m in no condition to be hopping about fixing dens,” Firepaw answered. “Besides, I want to check on Yellowfang, see if she’s okay after her fight with Tangleburr.” 

She looked for Yellowfang in her nest by the fallen tree. She was stretched out in the shadows, her eyes thoughtful. “Firepaw,” she purred when she saw her. “I’m glad you have come.” 

“I wanted to check that you were all right,” Firepaw mewed. 

“Old habits stay longer than old scents, eh?” meowed Yellowfang with a flash of her old spirit. 

“I suppose so,” Firepaw confessed. “How are you feeling?” 

“This old leg injury is playing up again, but I’ll be fine,” Yellowfang told her. 

“How did you manage to fight Tangleburr off?” Firepaw asked, unable to keep the admiration out of her voice. Tangleburr was much younger than Yellowfang with far less injuries. 

“Tangleburr’s strong, but she’s not a clever fighter. Fighting you was more of a challenge.” Firepaw looked for the flicker of humor in the old cat’s eyes, but there was none. 

She continued, “I’ve known her since she was a kit. She hasn’t changed—a bully, but no ability to think ahead.” 

Firepaw sat down beside her. “I’m not surprised Bluestar asked you to join the Clan,” she purred. “You certainly showed your loyalty last night.” 

Yellowfang twitched her tail. “Perhaps a truly loyal cat would have fought at the side of the Clan that raised her.” 

“But they didn’t fight for you!” Firepaw pointed out. 

Yellowfang shot her an admiring glance. “Well said, youngster. But then, you have always been a thinker.” 

Regret tried pierced Firepaw’s heart as she remembered these were Lionheart’s words too but she shoved it away. “Do you miss ShadowClan?” She asked Yellowfang. 

Yellowfang blinked slowly. “I miss the old ShadowClan,” she meowed at last. “The way it used to be.” 

“Until Brokenstar became leader?” Firepaw was curious. 

“Yes,” Yellowfang admitted softly. “He changed the Clan.” She gave a wheezy laugh. “He always knew how to give a good speech. He could make you believe a mouse was a rabbit if he set his mind to it. Perhaps that is why I was so blind to his faults.” The old she-cat stared into the distance, lost in memories.

Firepaw got to her paws. “I’ll leave you to rest now. Call me if you need anything else today.” 

Yellowfang lifted her head. “Before you go, Firepaw, I hear the moonstone patrol was in a rat fight. Do you know if they drew blood?” 

“I don’t, I’ve heard nothing of it. I imagine Spottedleaf has treated their wounds with marigold if they did.” 

“Sometimes marigold is not strong enough for rat bites. Go and find a patch of wild garlic spread on them. I think there’s some not far from the camp entrance. That will draw out any poisons the rats may have left. Although,” she added dryly, “Their den mates might not thank me for my advice!” 

“Well, I do. Thanks, Yellowfang!” Firepaw purred. 

“Go carefully, young one.” Yellowfang held her gaze for a moment, then let her chin rest on her front paws and closed her eyes. 

Firepaw slipped under the branches around Yellowfang’s nest and headed for the gorse tunnel, in search of the wild garlic. The sun was setting now, and she could hear the queens settling their kits for the night. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” growled a voice from the shadows. It was Darkstripe. 

“Yellowfang told me to go out and—” 

“You don’t take orders from that rogue!” hissed the warrior. “Go and help with the repairs. No cat is to leave the camp tonight!” He lashed his tail from side to side. 

“No, Darkstripe,” Firepaw mewed, tilting her head up, “I may not have to take orders from her but I certainly don’t take orders from _you_. The cats who were bit by rats may develop infections without garlic so I’m off to fetch some.” 

She went on as he tried to sputter another useless order, “I’m not a warriors apprentice, you’ve no say over what I do so keep your nose where it belongs and out of my business, Dirtstripe!” She growled. 

Without another words she turned and stalked away, faintly hearing a muttered “Dirtstripe?!” from the offended tom behind her. 

Firepaw headed toward the camp boundary, where she could see Graypaw and Ravenpaw busily patching a large hole in the wall of greenery. 

“How’s Yellowfang?” asked Graypaw as Firepaw trotted up, shaking her throbbing head lightly. 

“She’s fine. She said wild garlic would be good for your rat bites. I was on my way to find some, but Darkstripe tried ordered me to stay in camp,” Firepaw snorted as she told him. 

“Wild garlic?” mewed Graypaw. “I wouldn’t mind trying that, even if it reeks. My leg still stings.” 

“I shouldn’t be long. I’ll bring you back some,” Firepaw offered. She had resented Darkstripe’s treatment and welcomed the chance to undermine him further. “Don’t tell Spottedleaf though, I took a blow to the head in battle and she’s insisting I do nothing.” 

Ravenpaw frowned, but Graypaw nodded. “We’ll cover for you,” he whispered. Firepaw nuzzled him gratefully and jumped out through the tear in the boundary wall.

Once outside the camp, she began to make her way to the wild garlic patch, the sharp tang alerting her easily to its location. Her belly twisted at it, threatening to heave at it’s overwhelming scent. 

The moon was rising in the violet sky as the sun sank below the horizon. A cold breeze ruffled Firepaw’s fur. Suddenly she caught a cat-scent carried toward her on the wind. She sniffed cautiously. ShadowClan? 

No, just Tigerclaw, and two other cats. She sniffed the air again. Darkstripe and Longtail! What were they doing here? How had Darkstripe slipped from the camp so quickly? 

Curious, Firepaw dropped into a stalking position. She prowled through the undergrowth paw by paw, keeping downwind so that she was not detected. Her odd, lurching, gait was a tell-tale sound but if she move slowly enough, they might not spot her immediately. 

The warriors were standing in the shadow of a clump of ferns, their heads very close together. Soon Firepaw was near enough to hear them speak. 

“StarClan knows, my apprentice has shown little promise from the start, but I never expected him to turn traitor!” growled Tigerclaw. 

Firepaw’s eyes widened and her fur prickled with shock. It sounded like Tigerclaw intended to do more than just hint that Ravenpaw had betrayed the Clan! 

“How long did you say Ravenpaw was missing on the journey to Mothermouth?” asked Darkstripe. 

“Long enough to have traveled to ShadowClan’s camp and back,” came the deputy’s menacing answer. 

The fur on Firepaw’s tail bristled angrily, Ravenpaw had gone missing during the journey? Why hadn’t anyone told her? She’d been awake for half the day! 

Longtail’s voice sounded now, high-pitched with excitement: “He must have told them that ThunderClan’s leader and the strongest warrior had left the camp. Why else would they attack when they did?” 

“We are the last Clan to stand against ShadowClan. We must remain strong,” purred Tigerclaw. His tone had become velvety soft now. He waited in silence for a response. 

It was Darkstripe who answered, eagerly, as if he were still Tigerclaw’s apprentice, giving the correct answer to a question on hunting techniques. 

His words made Firepaw breathless. “And the Clan would be better off without a traitor like Ravenpaw.” 

“I have to say I agree with you, Darkstripe,” murmured Tigerclaw, his voice heavy with emotion. “Even though he’s my own apprentice...” He trailed off as if he were too upset to say any more. 

Firepaw had heard enough. Forgetting all about the wild garlic, she stalked from the undergrowth, “Who we both know you’ve never cared for much.” She growled.

All three toms shot up, their fur fluffing out until they looked as if they were hedgehogs. Tigerclaw whipped around, his eyes widening with relief once they met Firepaws. 

”Oh, thank the Stars you’re okay!” He exclaimed, padding forward. “Spottedleaf seemed so worried.” 

Firepaw backed away from him, “Yes, she was but it didn’t seem to bother you enough that you couldn’t sneak out of camp to gossip about my littermate.” She gritted out, glaring at him. 

Tigerclaws ears flattened and he looked away, towards his company, “Darkstripe, Longtail, please leave us be. I have much to discuss with Firepaw.” 

”What could you have to discuss with her?” Darkstripe sneered, “She’s just a medicine cat, not even a full one.” 

Tigerclaw opened his mouth but Longtail beat him, “Shut your trap, medicine cats are important and if they say the need to talk then they need to talk.” He shoved his head into Darkstripes shoulder, steadily pushing the irritated tom from the clearing. 

Once their mutterings faded, Tigerclaw turned back to her and sat down, his tail flicking behind him nervously. Firepaw twitched, blinking rapidly to clear the stars from her mind and face him with a solid mind. 

”Alright,” she growled, “Explain yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh, two chapters in three days? I’m spoiling y’all, aren’t I?
> 
> It’ll be a bit before the next one, I’ve got to update the Judges choice then A snuffed spark. It goes in a circle.


	12. Chapter 12

Tigerclaw swallowed hard, his throat bobbing. Firepaw didn’t let up in her persistent stare, “Tigerclaw,” she hissed, “Why are you trying to make it seem as though Ravenpaw is a traitor?” 

She narrowed her eyes lightly as his face cleared, becoming nearly unreadable. Nearly. “I suspect he is.” He mewed, the same smooth tone he’d taken with his shadows poking through. 

Offense raced quick and fierce in Firepaws veins but she clamped down on it quickly, wanting more information. She needed a way to corner him with his own words or he’d never admit to lying. 

”Really?” Her tone was flat, “I thought we both agreed he was a coward, far too much of one to consider betrayal.” 

Tigerclaws tail flicked, “I believed so but I’ve found his scent in Shadowclan territory and,” his voice grew serious, “He vanished on the moonstone journey.” 

Nodding, Firepaw considered his words. Tigerclaw was lying to her, this she knew, but it made no sense. Ravenpaw knew nothing of their agreement to let Lionheart die. He was a random cat in the clan, certainly not a threat to their plans or them. 

Or, her thoughts quickened, at least to her. 

”Tigerclaw,” she murmured, “Are you hiding something from me?” The question was simple but she made sure he knew exactly how much weight it carried. 

His expression didn’t even twitch but she saw his eyes flicker slightly away from her own. “No, I’m concerned about our clan, that’s all.” He insisted. 

She had enough. “You mouse-brain!” She hissed, “Who do you think you’re talking to? I’m not Longtail and I’m certainly not _Darkstripe_. You can’t fool me as easily with pretty words and a confident expression!” 

His fur puffed up some as she stalked around him, “Outright planning to mark him as a traitor isn’t concern, it’s not even suspicion!” She snapped, “It’s intentional and I know you have a reason for it. One that certainly isn’t because you truly believe Ravenpaw, of all cats, has the arrogance to be a spy!” 

”Drop it.” The words were spat from his scowled face. A hint of his fangs showed but it did nothing to intimidate Firepaw. She would slash his eyes out if he even thought to lay claw on her. 

”So you admit it?” She pressed, already knowing the answer. 

He did not respond but she didn’t need him too. She’d heard enough. 

She leveled him with a cool stare which he met steadily. “Very well.” Firepaws tone was clipped, “Follow me, if this secret is so important, I doubt you’ll want anyone in camp overhearing it when you tell me.”

“Firepaw..” Tigerclaw sounded pained, “I can’t tell you.”

Fury threatened to sweep all rational thought from Firepaws mind. She shot him with an icy glare and was quick to remind him just how far she’d gone to earn his loyalty. 

“I let Lionheart die for you.” the snapped words were quiet, only hinting at the anger peeking through her tone, “You’ll tell me whatever I wish to hear whenever I wish to hear it!”

He flinched back, his ears flicking, “It’s not that I don’t trust you, my friend, if I tell you..” he trailed off lightly, his eyes misting over.

Firepaw felt herself soften some. He looked like a small kit who lost their favorite mossball. “Just come, you can explain everything once we get away from prying ears.” She told him.

She did not spare him another glance, she only began to walk away. The sound of grass crinkling softly was the only indication that he had stood to reluctantly follow. 

They walked in silence, at a slow place. She found, as they went, that Tigerclaw pulled ahead of her. He lead her towards the Twolegplace border but stopped short of it, in a small clearing between bunches of bracken and fern. 

A small badger den was hollowed out in the earth, abandoned for what had to have been many seasons by its state. Tigerclaw sat beside it, looking at her with what she could only see as pure dread. 

He opened his mouth slowly but Firepaw caught the glint forming in his eyes and cut him off before he could even utter a sound. 

”No more lies, Tigerclaw.” She whispered quietly. 

The glint sputtered and died. His shoulders drew up in a hunch and he quivered lightly, looking so defeated she feared he’d collapse. His face was drawn in despair and desperation as he gazed at her, head bowed so low he had to look up to meet her eyes. 

“Firepaw, I-!” He started and stopped, huffing some, “Listen, there are things I’ve done that I’m not proud of, thing that if I shared, you’d turn away from me forever. The whole clan would. Ravenpaw knows these things so I need him gone.”

He paused some, “As much as you say you dislike him, I know you’d mourn him. It’s better for him to be...encouraged to leave.” He muttered, his deep voice cracking uncertainly.

He looked up, seeing Firepaw staring at him blankly, “Are you implying,” she started emotionlessly, “That you’re hiding something you’d kill to keep secret?” 

Tigerclaw winced heavily, as though she’d struck him. He did not try to deny it. He only nodded slowly.

Lionhearts face flashed in her mind and she winced heavily, trying to calm her thundering heart. She knew there were few things that one would kill to keep hidden. 

Slowly, Firepaw crept to sit beside him, “Tigerclaw, how long have you wanted leadership?” She asked carefully, a pool of dread settling deep in her belly. 

”Far too long.” Hunger burned bright in his amber eyes, overshadowing the other, more compassionate, emotions there.

”What have you done?” She had her suspicion, he was trying to get rid of Ravenpaw, his thirst for power, and the start of Ravenpaws cowardice gave her some inking as to what he’d done but the very idea was enough to make her blood freeze in her veins. 

She had so little in life now, she couldn’t bear it if her one friend had been the cause of any of it. 

Around them, a light snow began to fall, early for Leaf-fall. Firepaw watched the flakes drift to the earth, letting them catch in her whiskers and melt. Idly, she realized this was the first snow she could remember seeing. 

Tigerclaw made no move to shake the frost from his wide head. His eyes were locked on his paws. His face was pinched in a painful grimace and the words he spat sounded as if they were coated in poisonous nettles when he coughed them out. 

“I killed Redtail.” 

He said it softly. Quiet and quick. It’s soothing tone did nothing to ease the impact of it’s meaning. The words slammed into Firepaws chest, hitting harder than any blow she’d taken. 

She stared at him, her ears ringing. Her pelt felt too tight against her, making it hard to gasp down air. Pressure built behind her face, burning her eyes in a painful way. She blinked them furiously, hardly noting the drop of blood that fell from her left one. 

_”What happened there, wildfire?”_

They were going to take a walk when he returned from that patrol. She remembered now. It had been lost in her grief, buried beneath her work. He had wanted to share something with her, to show he cared for her. She’d never know what it was now. 

Because of Tigerclaw.

”You killed my father.” Her words matched his in volume. Refusing to let her eyes trailing away from his, she sputtered lightly, a sob caught in her throat. 

This was the tom who walked at her side day after day. The tom who brought her prey when she forgot to eat, making sure to catch her favorite every time. The tom who curled up at her side for random naps after long days of training only so they could battle in their dreams. This tom was her best and only friend. 

He’d done all of that, been all that, after slashing her fathers throat open. Her father, who had loved her more than Brindleface ever had. Stars, he might’ve been the only cat besides Sandpaw who had loved her! 

Slowly, she rose to her paws, swaying gently as she began to stumble away. The sadness, the crushing despair that threaten to make her sick with it’s intensity, washed away in a wave of vile hatred as he spoke up behind her. 

”Firepaw, wait....” He hesitated for a moment, “Please wait. I’m, I’m so sorry, truly I am. I can’t change what I’ve done, believe me I would if I could if only to make you happy. I didn’t know you then, I wasn’t thinking of how I was betraying anything, I was only thinking of myself. I’m sorry.” 

She could hear the cracks in his voice that betrayed how much he was truly asking for her forgiveness. Beneath her grief and hate, a small part of her lurched at it, happy to forgive and forget if it meant she’d keep her friend. 

She squashed that part down cruelly, letting the much bigger part of her that wished to rip this fox-hearted manipulator to shreds rise up. It clawed through her, burning as bright as the fire she was named for. 

”I won’t tell.” The words came calmly as Firepaw slipped beneath the face she often wore in The Dark Forest when her mentors surrounded her. The face meant for strangers who didn’t have her fragile trust. 

”W-what?” The stutter was so unlike him but he pushed on anyway, “Firepaw, please, just listen-!” 

She cut him off, “I won’t tell as long as you don’t.” Lionhearts name was not spoken but it didn’t need to be. “I’m leaving. Alone. I wish you the best of luck in your sorrow, deputy.” 

Tigerclaws voice trembled behind her though she could sense he was trying to hide it. “I’ll step down as leader when the time comes. You can lead, I won’t even be deputy. Just stay and we can work out a plan for it.” 

A snarl curled her lip and, for a moment, she was too angry to speak. All at once she whipped around and sliced his chest. Her claws plunged past his fur, hooking into his chest and ripping three jagged marks over his heart. 

_’Fitting, seeing as you don’t have one!’_

”You think this is about power?!” The screech tumbled from her jaws before she could stop it, “About some forsaken spot atop the highrock?!” 

He yelped, tripping back from her. He landed in the badger den and stared up at his friend silently, awaiting whatever lashing she had in store. 

Her words came out ragged growl, “I don’t need _you_ to reach power, Tigerclaw. I never have. I wouldn’t have used you for it anyway. I stayed close to you because I thought you were my friend!” 

”I am-!” He clamped his jaws shut at her withering glare. 

”You killed my father. You killed him and then spent moons after earning my friendship, knowing every time you playfully jabbed me with a claw, it was the same claw that tore his life away.” Her eyesight was growing blurry, she told herself it was from rage, even if her protesting heart cried out differently. 

”I cannot fault you for not caring at the time. I meant nothing to you then.” She paused, smoothing her face over as the fiery rage frosted over into something colder and much, much, darker. 

”And you mean nothing to me now.” 

She turned but his large paw slammed down in front of her. His amber eyes were a wild mix of fear and despair, “He wasn’t even a good cat,” he hissed, “You think he loved you more than me? You think he was better? He lied to you your entire life! That whole clan did!” 

Firepaw froze, “What are you talking about?” The words lacked their menace, overtaken by confusion. 

He scoffed, “Do you really think you’re pure Thunderclan? Come on Firepaw, you look like no one, you’re different. Do you really think you were strange kit?” His tone was fraying, his angry eyes locked on her face, “It makes much more sense to think you were found rather than born, doesn’t it?” 

The cold feeling coiled around her, freezing in her veins. She shoved him aside roughly, “Stop lying to me, Tigerclaw!” She yowled, stomping away from him and into the forest. 

He was just trying to hurt her as she’d hurt him. She knew this. So why couldn’t she shake the doubt from her mind? She didn’t look like anyone else after all and Brindleface had began to ignore her first.... 

No. Brindleface had ignored her because she was distraught over Redtail. Something Tigerclaw had caused. She’d lost both her parents because of him. 

She had only Spottedleaf now and even that was on thin ice. Why was her life so full of cats who only wished to manipulate her for their own gain? What had she done to deserve it? 

Nothing. She had done nothing. Starclan had abandoned her for nothing, Tigerclaw had manipulated her for nothing. They were all expecting something of her. To become a monster, to become an ally. They all thought they knew what to expect from her. 

She was quite tired of cats thinking they knew her. No one had even asked what she wanted her name to be. Her name. She wasn’t even a full clan member and already her life was in shambles. 

Was this clan worth it? Spottedleaf seemed to be the only one who liked her anyway, besides Sandpaw, and even then, neither of them trusted her. 

She felt the frustration well up inside her. It didn’t matter. She’d sworn loyalty to Thunderclan and they were loyal to her. 

Tigerclaws words rang in her ears at that thought, dancing in her mind. She...she really didn’t look like any of her clanmates, did she? Redtails ginger had been far darker than her nearly golden pelt and neither he nor Brindleface were spotted as she was. 

”No.” she hissed, “He was lying. They wouldn’t deceive me about my own birth.” 

She repeated the sentence a few times, shoving the taunting thoughts from her mind. They wouldn’t have. 

They couldn’t have. 

If they had then Spottedleaf had lied to her. If they had then _everyone_ had lied to her. Firepaw swallowed roughly, it didn’t matter, it wasn’t true. Brindleface was her mother and Redtail was her father!

She held tight to that truth, using it to battle her grief. Tigerclaw, he had killed her father. Her belly lurched roughly, he’d killed her father and he would’ve hid it from her forever if she hadn’t have caught onto his ploy with Ravenpaw. 

Ravenpaw. 

Fury stiffened the fur along Firepaws back. He ruined everything! If he had been a better fighter, if he hadn’t been such a coward, he could’ve helped Redtail fight! If he hadn’t been so weak, he could’ve told Bluestar what had really happened before Firepaw grew to care for Tigerclaw. 

If he had never existed, Firepaw would’ve never found out about Redtails true fate. She would’ve remained blissfully unaware and kept her only friend.

”Firepaw?” Spottedleafs voice pierced theough her thoughts, “Are you alright?” 

Looking up, Firepaw realize she had wandered around to the top of the ravine. One paw was lifted, prepared to come down into the air at the edge of the cliff. 

She set it back down on firm ground, feeling Spottedleaf come up behind her, “I got worried when Yellowfang said you might’ve gone out for garlic.” She paused and Firepaw could practically taste the dislike the medicine cat had for the elder, “She shouldn’t have sent you out with your head wound.” 

Firepaw nodded absentmindedly, not really absorbing anything Spottedleaf said. Redtail was her brother, wasn’t he? Did he visit her from Starclan to share his real death? 

The thought was silly. The dead never shared specific things, they just vaguely hinted then shared in their amusement at the livings bumbling to find the meaning. 

Her claws locked over the edge of the gorge at her own thoughts, she was going to maul Softstep and any other traitor in that forsaken forest who crossed her path. They all had to have known. 

Stars, knowing how proud they were of her for simply letting a cat die, they were probably over the moon the moment Tigerclaw attacked!

Spottedleafs concerned mew dragged her thoughts from their dark spiral. Firepaw blinked, realizing her chest was throbbing with a loud growl and her face had twisted into a scowl. 

Taking a breath, she smoothed her expression over and pulled her claws free from the dirt she’d embedded them in. Pulling them up to her mouth, she began to clean them absentmindedly, her mind working fast as she spat out a lame excuse. 

”Sorry Spottedleaf,” she mumbled lowly, “Tigerclaw and I had a bit of a falling out.” His name rolled from her tongue with as much venom as an adder.

She heard her mentor sigh heavily and felt her tail settle on her back. “What’s the brute done now?” She nuzzled her muzzle on top of Firepaws head. She could tell from the tiny cats voice that she wasn’t as angry as she was upset. It must have been something personal. 

Firepaw swallowed hard, _’He murdered my father!’_ she wanted to wail it out for the whole clan to hear but she couldn’t. He’d tell on her too. 

”...I don’t want to talk about it.” She mumbled at last. Leaning away from her mentor, she tried to change the subject, “Have you gotten garlic for the patrol?” 

”Yes,” Spottedleafs voice was quiet and smooth, “Don’t worry about it Firepaw, come, you need to rest.” She tried to nudge her towards the rocks leading down the ravine. 

Firepaw dodged her paws, “I’d rather stay out here for a while.” She looked away, “I want to be alone with my thoughts.” 

A gentle sigh sounded, “Firepaw?” 

”Hmm?” She looked back, surprised to see Spottedleaf was back beside her. The dusk highlighted her features, sparking her amber eyes with an unearthly glow. 

A tight feeling started in Firepaws chest. Her mentors face was soft with understanding and empathy, more open and kind than any cat Firepaw had been near in moons. 

The tortoiseshell slipped by her, brushing her feathered tail along her side, “Come, I wish to show you something.” She didn’t pause to give Firepaw any say in the matter, she simply kept walking leaving the choice to follow or not in her paws.

She did. They walked in silence, the only sound between them being the crunch of leaves crushed beneath Firepaws clumsy, lurching, gait. 

The sun was sinking low in the sky, melting the flakes that had fallen during Tigerclaws horrid confession. Firepaw paid them no mind, her thoughts still tangled in her head. 

A sick feeling was slithering among them. She felt ill but only within her mind. Why had Tigerclaw used her as he had? What did he have to gain? She wasn’t special, she was a medicine cat with a few fighting moves. Had he done it simply to be cruel? 

Her fathers face flashed in her mind, so unlike her own. She missed him. Stars, how she missed him but they would never meet again, would they? Starclan would never take her now, not after Lionheart. 

Her thoughts raced faster and faster, spinning around in her mind until she could only feel the resentment from them. 

Tigerclaws reasoning no longer mattered. Knowing why he had done what he had done would not undo it. He’d murdered her father and she’d get him back for it, if it was the last thing she did! 

”Firepaw.” Spottedleafs gentle voice coaxed her inner tantrum from its spiral. 

Looking up, Firepaw found they were sitting next to a small creek beyond the border. It’s swirling water led off a ledge and into a small pool. The pool looped lazily, swooping whatever leaf or branch fell into it in a slow circle before sending it on it’s way down the creek. 

Firepaw calmed slightly as she listened to the babbling of the water as it trickled into the pool. Watching the leaves swirl distracted her from the vengeful thoughts digging deep into her heart. 

Spottedleaf was watching her, a fond grin tugging her muzzle. She laid down, encouraging Firepaw to curl against her as they listened to the gentle stream. 

They stayed silent for a long while, neither willing to break the ice. After a moment, Spottedleaf leaned forward and gently began to groom the slashes that wretched black tom had scored on Firepaws soft pelt. 

Firepaw gazed down at them absentmindedly. She had never paid much attention to her looks, she wasn’t beautiful like Sandpaw or soft like Frostfur, but now she was glad she hadn’t. 

The scars that would crisscross her pelt were horridly jagged, cutting spots in half and kinking up her fur in an odd way. She could only imagine what her burning face looked like. She knew she’d have scars over her muzzle and the scars from Softsteps first attack were still perched between her ears. 

Hmph, she had more to show than a warrior. 

It wasn’t any concern to her though. She hardly had anyone she was looking to impress. With a grumble, she lifted her paw and began cleaning her ears, dragging her thoughts away from the mundane thoughts. 

”I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” Spottedleafs voice was quiet. She turned her head away when Firepaw looked at her with half-lidded, questioning eyes. 

A mirthless chuckled escaped, “Which time?” The words came out meaner than she meant, the barbs attached to them sinking deep into Spottedleafs heart. 

Firepaws ears flattened, she didn’t really have the energy to attack another now. Especially Spottedleaf. Laying her head across one of the elder medicine cats paws, she whispered a quiet apology. 

She heard the tortoiseshell swallow harshly, “No, you’re right.” She murmured her voice deep with determination, “There are many times I should’ve been there when I wasn’t but not again. I’ll be there if you need me, always.” 

The words warmed Firepaws frosted heart. At least she still had her mentor. 

Her eyes slipped into a narrow at her own thought, she opened her mouth lightly, a question resting on the tip of her tongue. Then, carefully, she shut it. 

Today had been the worst day of her life. She’d lost Softstep, Mapleshade, and Tigerclaw in one short confession. The question _’Was I born Thunderclan?’_ would be so easy to say and she’d be able to take a victory in this mess. 

__But the same doubt she’d felt earlier surged through her. With a critical eye, she gazed over Spottedleafs form, looking for any hints of similarities between her and her aunt._ _

__There wasn’t any that she could see. The same tightness she’d felt after Tigerclaw had revealed his truth clenched at her chest. What if she wasn’t Thunderclan? Would Spottedleaf even tell her?_ _

__Hesitantly, she parted her jaws again, “What is this place?” She rasped out after a moment, refusing to look at the elder cat. If she was not born Thunderclan, she didn’t want to find out today, she decided. It would be too much._ _

__”I come here when I get stressed or angry or sad.” Her voice was not the authority figure she’d become to Firepaw. It was not a demanding mentor or a scorned medicine cat but it was a familiar tone._ _

____

One that made Firepaw nearly break down and expose every secret she had. Blackfoot, Softstep, Tigerclaw, all of them, it took an enormous effort to keep them locked behind her teeth. She felt a small spark of pride in her effort. 

____

Many can’t keep secrets from their mothers.

____

She kept quiet as Spottedleaf continued, “I found this place after I experienced my first loss, though it wasn’t from sickness. A litter of three, stolen in the night by a fox or badger. They were the first I had ever delivered and not one saw newleaf.” 

____

Lynxkits face flashed quick and fierce in Firepaws mind. Pity overwhelmed the rage lurking in her heart for a precious few moments. She knew the pain of losing kits. 

____

Spottedleaf rested her head on her paws, “We searched for them for days, hoping for at least a body to bury. I went outside of the border and stumbled upon this creek, though it was frozen at the time.” 

____

Her eyes were shadowed with a pain, aching with memories, “When it thawed and I lost Featherwhisker,” his name fell from her tongue with deep grief, “I came back. Since then, I’ve always returned to my calming pool. I think you could used it too.” 

____

She reached a paw low, touching the surface of the pool with a delicate dab. Then she stood and gave Firepaw a lick on the ear, padding from the clearing to leave her to her thoughts as she had requested. 

____

A few ripples spread from the spot the medicine cat had touched. Firepaw watched them go lightly. 

____

A leaf that floated peacefully on the surface was jostled by one of the tiny waves. It turned too much to the side and began to rapidly fill with the icy water. Within a moment, it had sunk to the bottom of the pool, never to move on down the stream. 

____

Firepaw stared at its pitiful form for a long while. Oddly, she felt a sort of kinship with the scrap of leaf. Tigerclaws revelation had jostled her to her core, throwing her off her carefully place balance. 

____

Moons ago, with her hotheaded attitude, she would’ve thrown a fit the likes of which a clan had never seen. She would’ve clawed his face to shreds, blinded him, howled at him until her voice rang silent and her throat throbbed. But things change. 

____

She couldn’t do such things now. As much as what he had done pain her, as much as she wished to rip his throat and watch him scrabble to breathe, she couldn’t. 

____

He was her friend. 

____

A tiny sob bubbled from her throat. He was her friend. How could he do this to her? How could any one to this to another? She loved him as she did her own kin and he’d taken hers away! 

____

Rage and heartbreak clashed within her, ripping her mind to frayed ends as she chased her thoughts in circles. She didn’t know what to do! 

____

Her father, stars her poor father, deserved to be avenged. His murderer deserved no less than what he’d been subjected to, Firepaw knew this but how could she hurt Tigerclaw? 

____

It pained her to think of the tabby as broken as he’d made her. She loved him but she hated him. How could she make him suffer for what he’d done without destroying herself?

____

The last lights of dusk shown through the nearly leafless trees, hitting the pool and blinding Firepaw. She hissed, narrowing her eyes against the glare. 

____

Her buzzing thoughts cleared as she glanced down. The sunlight glimmered on the pool, like a thousand tiny stars, in the unmistakable shape of the moonstone. She stared at it, puzzled by the odd coincidence. 

____

For a moment, just a quick heartbeat, Redtails scent touched her nose. 

____

She jerked, her gaze flitting around wildly to spot the dead tom. The harsh glare of the sunlit water had left her sight murky so she could not see him if he was somewhere to be found. Looking back, Firepaw found the pool still glittering, winking at her with dazzling light as if it was sharing a secret. 

____

“What do you want?” She hissed, willing the stupid sign to explain itself. She wanted nothing to do with Starclan but she didn’t believe this was them. She believed it was Redtail, coming to help her find a way to an answer her conflicted thoughts couldn’t reach. 

____

Anger pricked the fur of her neck at the lack of response. With a growl, she lashed a paw down, scattering the vision. If it was no help, it could stop blinding her from everything around her! 

____

As her paw cut through the icy water, she froze. The moonstone had blinded her. She could see nothing but it, not trees, not grass, not birds. Not even Redtail. 

____

She blinked the fuzziness from her eyes, a slow grin tugging her muzzle. She couldn’t harm Tigerclaw, not yet, not while the wound was so fresh but she would get him back. She’d tear apart the dream that had drove his teeth to her fathers neck. 

____

As long as she lived, he would never be leader.

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strange how quickly one sentence, one ripple, can change somethings path, huh?
> 
> The manipulation game in this chapter is strong lmao.
> 
> I tried to match how Firepaw normally reacts to things(with automatic rage as a defense) to how she really feels about Tigerclaw which is why it shifts from “I wanna kill him!” To “How to destroy someone with actually destroying them?” so fast. 
> 
> I’m still not completely happy with the final product. Oh well, if every author waited until they thought a chapter was perfect, nothing would ever get done.
> 
> Honestly, I’m completely aware that everyone loves Tiger and Fires friendship(Including me) so of course, they’ll work their way back up but you couldn’t just expect the fact that he killed her ‘father’ to go over well, right? 
> 
> Trust is a fragile thing, it’ll take Tiger a while to piece Firepaws back together.


End file.
